I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Discussion of Parental Alienation on the Sault News Forum

This is a response made to a post in the Sault News forum http://www.soonews.ca/forum/index.php/topic,3071.0.html by Elbow who had posted info from a previous discussion on Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). The posting was and is a reasoned look at the impact of PAS but the term itself has not yet been adopted as a mental health disorder. That may happen on the next amendment to the DSM-IV (see definition here) http://www.answers.com/topic/diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-of-mental-disorders. Parental Alienation (PA) by one parent against a target is the behaviour that could lead to mental health problems for an abused child. I am dealing with PA as opposed to PAS.

The following is the posting leading to my answer further down.

 

Elbow

 

    To Mike Murphy - here is another you may not have read at the time of posting on this site.


                                         Parental Alienation Syndrome.



In view of the recent display of alarming behaviour by Alex Baldwin - I feel compelled to write this.  It would be all too easy to allow this very complex and disturbing situation slip from media attention and we must not let that happen.  This was not simply a temper tantrum; there is an insidious factor at work here - it's called Parental Alienation.  I think we have an obligation to the children and non-custodial parents (usually the father) who are suffering from this form of child abuse, to keep this very serious problem in the public domain.

Firstly, may I say I am not a fan of Alex Baldwin and do not condone his behaviour. I find him to be a rather nasty individual, who appears to need the services of a good therapist – but that aside, I think the signs of manipulation to alienate his child from him are unmistakable.  Kim Basinger undoubtedly released that tape – either by her own hand or by someone else on her behalf and I find that extremely distasteful - another attempt to distance the child from her father.  It was however, a particularly nasty diatribe – but frustration with the situation, I'm sure played a part in that. 

The systematic brainwashing a child, with the sole purpose of destroying the  loving  and warm relationship they once had with the non-custodial parent, is nothing less than extreme child abuse!  We in Canada proclaim to be concerned with the child's health and welfare, first and foremost – yet what have we done about Parental Alienation Syndrome?  This is indeed a disease and our children are suffering!

As Alex Baldwin stated – you don't know what it's like until you experience it. Imagine the tragic consequences on the children subjected to this behaviour.  The psychological effects can last well into adulthood or even a lifetime.  This is indeed, vicious and damaging maltreatment of a child – please let's do something to help draw attention to this very serious problem, of which our children are victims!

I have personally witnessed the effect of this deliberate vicious brainwashing of my grandchildren. It has broken my son's heart to lose his children and broken mine to watch my child in such pain! To the perpetrators of this kind of act – you gain nothing – you simply destroy your children!  Is your hate worth more, than your child's happiness?

To all parents - I don't ask you to save "The Planet" – I simply ask, that we save our children!


Elsa.
                                         

 

 

 

Elbow:

 

Mr. Baldwin's diatribe was fodder for the feminazis and totally uncalled for but his frustration is understandable, particularly by Father's who have been abused by the children who are being used as proxies' by vindictive, narcissistic, sometimes mentally ill parents. In Mr. Baldwin's case and the situation below the brainwashing abusing parents are both female.

 

This is but one of many instances of father abuse by children where I have direct first hand observable knowledge of the situation. Picture you are on a 3 hour access visit to pick up your daughters and as part of that you go to Wendy's at GNR and 2nd line in Sault Ste. Marie, ON. Imagine that it is crowded for supper. You have a 12 year old who doesn't want to be there and a nine year old who has decided to "side" with her sister this evening but who wants desperately to have a loving relationship with both her parents. Try and think of the "dissonance" this has on the nine year old who loves her father but wants to be loyal to her big sister and mother. Think ahead 5 years to try and envision the impact of this psychological bruising. This is one of the major reasons why the target parent cannot be passive about the abuse he is receiving and the consequences on his children's moral compass and mental health. If they can do that to a parent with the complete support of the other "parent" (quotes are deliberate) what would they do to others.

 

For the rest of the half hour the 12 year old, in addition to constantly hurling hateful insults directly, would whisper in the nine year olds ear other hateful epithets. The 12 year old was making the "bullets" and the nine year old was firing them. After 30 minutes it appeared nothing was going to change and the father kept his patience and quietly admonished the children to be quiet as many of the patrons were watching and hearing the diatribe.

 

These were some of the insults the girls were hurling at him while smiling and enjoying the "fun" they were having. You are fat, chubby, balding, old, grey, have yellow teeth, bad breath, smell, bad odour, ugly, have no friends, and - it is hurtful to say the rest. It is terribly painful to even think about it. This went on steady for 30 minutes in front of others who were there to enjoy a meal. Now the "no it alls" will say that is what teenagers can do to parents. They will say well you must be one "bad" parent to have your children hate you so much. I want to disabuse them of that notion. Having raised children for 10 years, not once even using corporal punishment for discipline, I knew different. Setting limits when required, providing moral direction through example and observable behaviour, giving time outs and "grounding" when required are examples of normal discipline. If they are not getting any of that with the alienating parent and then when they visit the target any discipline meted out by the target is considered "mean" by them.

 

Please, in no way should blame be ascribed to the children. They are brainwashed. Read Dr. Richard Warshak's, "Divorce Poison", for one of the more comprehensive and current professional assessments of Parental Alienation.

 

This plays right into the hands of the alienator because the Children's Aid Society not only cannot do anything about it but they will blame the parent subject to the abuse. An intake worker at the local CAS clearly stated it was the position of the CAS the parent supervising the children was responsible for their behaviour. So the abusing parent can "set up" the children to misbehave on a 3 hour access visit and the access parent is at fault. This is your child protection agency at work enabling psychological child abuse which they can't deal with because it cannot be seen, whereas a bruise can.

 

No one else in Sault Ste. Marie can deal with it either. Algoma Family Services will give a man the "brush off". It took them 72 days to give me a response and then they had a high priced lawyer do it because I threatened to take them to court for violation of a court order requiring them to give the information. See my parental alienation blog chapters, which is the raw data I'll use for a future book on my journey through the misandric system that is in place, with the welfare people (aka Ontario Works), the CAS, and Algoma Family Services to observe how your tax dollars are being spent to support and enable psychological child abuse and provide cover for convicted criminals. As an aside the welfare worker I name in that blog (see chapter 17) has also had tremendous conflict with her ex in the court system, especially related to financial matters, and she wears her bias on her sleeve.

 

The civil rights movement for men and fathers is growing to try and change the abuse now occurring, particularly as it relates to the marginalization of fathers in the 21st century. It is unbelievable what tax supported agencies will do to support the feminazis at the expense of all taxpayers but particularly fathers.

 

As mentioned previously I am passionate in my love for my children and will commit civil disobedience if required and go to jail for my beliefs, in the same manner as other civil rights activists. In jail I will go on a hunger strike to draw more attention to the prejudice, bias and dysfunction surrounding fathers in the family court system and in the female support ecosystem. Will I be the first father in the world to get the death sentence, through a hunger strike, for loving my children? Stay tuned this will continue to play itself out.

 

Let me conclude with a quote from Edmund Burke; "It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do." ~, Second Speech on Conciliation, 1775

 

Mike Murphy

Father's rights activist

 

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