I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Is Australian Shared Parenting in Jeopardy

My comments on an Australian newspaper site discussing comments by the Ozzy Attorney General on equal parenting. "What a shame if equality of parent hood becomes another gift horse for petulant feminists. Hopefully the examination will be done without feminist interference by impartial representatives. So far it appears the problem is one manufactured by the media whose slant seems to be in favour of mothers at the expense of fathers. The judge who quit is a "quitter". No more no less. Those who want to make something work do not give up the fight. A fairly famous American named Teddy Roosevelt once said "It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again ... and who, at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Equal parenting for divorced couples may be scrapped

Article from: The Courier-Mail

Matthew Fynes-Clinton

November 30, 2008 11:00pm

THE controversial and "distressing" equal-time parenting laws for divorced couples could be overhauled, the federal Attorney-General says.

Robert McClelland said some shared-parenting orders that followed relationship breakdowns were "clearly not appropriate and (were) causing extreme distress for children and their parents".

Is shared parenting harmful to children? Tell us
Last month, The Courier-Mail highlighted the problems in a series of reports on the family law system. "I'm very aware of media reports and research about the 2006 reforms," Mr McClelland said. "In particular, I have read reports about the impact on children of some parenting orders favouring significant sharing of parenting time. "I assure you that I appreciate the seriousness of all I am hearing ... and that we will be mindful of these views when it comes to formulating new policies and making possible amendments to legislation." Mr McClelland made the remarks during a recent Women's Legal Service family law forum in Brisbane. He confirmed that the Australian Institute of Family Studies, a government statutory authority, had begun a "comprehensive empirical assessment" of how families were faring under the shared parenting regime. The Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Act was introduced by the Howard government in 2006 to rectify perceived unfairness in custody orders and assuage concerns about the impact of absent fathers. The changes direct trial judges and magistrates in the federal family law courts to "presume" that "equal shared parental responsibility" is in the best interests of children. This means separating parents are legally bound to jointly attempt to make major decisions on their children's welfare, such as those about health and education. Fifty-50 parenting time is not automatic. But when shared responsibility is imposed (child abuse or family violence cancels the presumption), the courts are required to consider a further order that a child spend equal time with each of the parents. In the Courier-Mail reports, Brisbane former Family Court Judge Tim Carmody, family lawyers, academics and child psychologists said the laws were emotionally damaging children, many of whom lived week-about between the homes of highly conflicted parents.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

My father, my hero ~ David Warren The Ottawa Citizen

This is a column by David Warren of the Ottawa Citizen about family and what it can mean. It is the essence of our civilization and the most important building block in humanity - yet - there are so many operatives from lawyers, to DV do-gooders, welfare workers, family courts, biased assessors, biased support services, and feminists who may be some or all of the above, out to destroy it. MJM My father, my hero
David Warren
The Ottawa Citizen

An old man I know told me how he became a Roman Catholic, after an upbringing that would perhaps have better fitted him to become some sort of "humanist." He was young, at the rebellious age, and weighted more with questions than with answers. His relation with his father was tense and difficult, perhaps creatively so. His father died, and his world shattered. The inadequate Christian faith he had absorbed in childhood was tested, against grief, and found wanting.

On the question of weight, a lady I know said, "I remember when my father died, it felt like someone weighing five hundred pounds was sitting on my chest." People may do strange things under such circumstances. But usually they are muffled, quiet.

The man began sitting at the back of Catholic churches, during Mass. He needed something to do with all his time. Those were the days when the old Tridentine Mass was available everywhere; was the bond that held Catholics together. He did not go to church to look at the Catholics, he went as a spectator of that Mass. He was a young man with a classical education, and some poetry in his soul: he wanted to hear the Latin words and the music. (To this day, people who are not even slightly Catholic go to concerts, and buy CDs, to hear the old Mass ordinary -- because it has been set, gloriously and repeatedly, by so many of the world's greatest musical composers, over so many centuries.)

Went to hear, and inevitably, went to think, while the words of the Mass were sung for him, from the invocation of the Kyrie, a text old as the Psalms if not older: "Lord have mercy."

From one Mass, he was drawn curiously to another, until in due course his diverse thoughts organized themselves into a single thought. And that thought was: "This is the only thing that is equal to my father's death."

I learned of this when my own father died, the Sunday before last.

In much different circumstances: he was quite old, and I'm well into middle age; I'd already done my converting. Even when young, I never rebelled against my father, was never tempted to do so. I remember him as my hero from the age of two or three, and in all the half-century since I cannot remember a time at which he was not my hero. The reader may wonder at this, but I came from a very good home, with exemplary parents, and even an adoring little sister.

My mother by her own account "lucked out." Luck comes most often to the brave, however, for she married the man among her many suitors who had the poorest prospects: a young veteran of the war -- a daring young flyboy -- who may have looked splendid in his officer's uniform, but was now in a tuberculosis hospital. And worse, if he ever got out: some kind of artist. (He became a pioneering and accomplished industrial designer, but first he had to learn that trade.) She might have enjoyed great wealth and security, but she married for love and damn the torpedoes.

Now she is an ancient widow, in a nursing home, cherishing every remembered moment from more than 60 years of marriage to a man who was also her hero.

It is from raw, and prolonged experience that one learns what family means, and through it of the awesome power of love, reaching beyond the grave. But these are things that can never be communicated to outsiders. Each family is its own country, with its own culture, its own language, its own mythology, its own universe.

I've mentioned my father before in these columns, over the years, especially in November, around Remembrance Day -- both him, and his father, who went up Vimy Ridge, for Canada in France. They were warriors in their youth, but each in his turn a man for all seasons.

The family extends in space and time. I opened my father's pilot log, and found a photograph in it of him at the age of 19, at the controls of some aircraft I cannot identify. I was taken aback, for in the first glance I thought it was my elder son: the same insouciant look on the face, and the face itself bearing the family resemblance. It took me a moment to get the timeline straight: this is not my son, it is my father. My father.

David Warren's column appears Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday.

North Pole Toy Factory workers face more Lay-offs ~ from F,R.A.M.E.D.

FRAMED is not just about Father's, it's also about Children, Mothers, and Families. Right now the majority of Father's are at a disadvantage compared to mothers when it comes to parental rights.......these parental rights need to be equal between both fit Mother's and Father's! For the sake of our Children! Our constitutional/civil rights are being trampled on and it must stop now!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

North Pole Toy Factory workers face more Lay-offs

BREAKING NEWS!

[Note: In these difficult economic times and with Christmas fast approaching, I was astonished to learn during my latest trip to the north pole that even up there they were suffering economic hardships. Surprisingly and to my amazement, it is not the high cost of fuel and food prices, wall street corruption, and the failing housing market, it is actually the domino effect of the biased and criminal Family Court rulings around the world that are causing difficulties at the North Pole. I thought it would be important that I wrote an article about my visit there and the economic stress Family Courts are causing not only in their economy at the North Pole, but also how it is threatening the meaning of Christmas as we know it.]

Santa Declares Family Courts are Destroying Children, Families, and Christmas!

By PrancnWolf,

As the destruction of families is increasing in America and around the world due to the family court systems, Santa has declared a worldwide emergency and crisis. Santa has stated that not only is his Toy Factory in danger of being shut down, Christmas itself is being threatened of actually becoming a day of sadness instead of a day of joy.

Santa has also firmly stated that due to the negative impact on children by family courts and single parent households, there is a chilling rise in the number of naughty children around the world and societies are in danger of becoming totally frozen in chaos. Santa claims that the Family Courts are causing a negative "snowball effect" when it comes to the stability and happiness in the families and children of the world today.

Santa emphasized that Fatherless children and homes are one of the leading causes of these breakdowns in society and the alarming rise in numbers of naughty children. He also mentions that Motherless homes are on the rise too and that no single parent home regardless of the parent’s gender is a healthy situation for any child. Santa also states that as some mothers lose custody, it is the fathers that have their children taken away from them in the majority of all custody disputes throughout the developed world. Santa believes that the Family Courts are one reason behind this destruction of the family.

Santa goes on to say:

"Children from fatherless homes account for:

  • · 63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
  • · 71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services
  • · 90% of all homeless and runaway children.
  • ·70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
  • · 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control).
  • · 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978).
  • · 71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
  • · 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).
  • · 85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).

"And The State of Fatherhood," Santa continued,

  • ·37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6, col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.) ·"40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse." (Source: p. 449, col. II, lines 3-6, (citing Fulton) Frequency of visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers and Mothers. Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991.)
  • · "Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125)
  • ·Only 11% of mothers value their husband's input when it comes to handling problems with their kids. Teachers & doctors rated 45%, and close friends & relatives rated 16%.(Source: EDK Associates survey of 500 women for Redbook Magazine. Redbook, November 1994, p. 36)
  • ·"The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more frequent contact with the children." (Source: Increasing our understanding of fathers who have infrequent contact with their children, James Dudley, Family Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991.)
  • ·"A clear majority (70%) of fathers felt that they had too little time with their children." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Mary Ann Kock & Carol Lowery, Journal of Divorce, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 54, Winter 1984.)
  • ·"Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50, Winter 1984.)
  • ·"Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children." (Source: Ahrons and Miller, Am. Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 63. p. 442, July `93.)
  • ·"Mothers may prevent visits to retaliate against fathers for problems in their marital or post-marital relationship." (Source: Seltzer, Shaeffer & Charing, Journal of Marriage & the Family, Vol. 51, p. 1015, November 1989.)
  • ·In a study: "Visitational Interference - A National Study" by Ms. J Annette Vanini, M.S.W. and Edward Nichols, M.S.W., it was found that 77% of non-custodial fathers are NOT able to "visit" their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. In other words, non-compliance with court ordered visitation is three times the problem of non-compliance with court ordered child support and impacts the children of divorce even more. Originally published Sept. 1992

….and this is just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended)" Santa said, with tears running down his face and turning into icicles.

Recently, Santa organized a rather large group of Elves to do research as to what is exactly causing these family courts to be so inhumane and damaging to families and children. Santa informed these Elves that the Toy Factory was 2 nd in priority to them now and that without happy children and families, the toy factory and Christmas would become irrelevant. Therefore, getting to the root cause of the problem was their #1 priority. The Elves in charge of the study began to call themselves, "Elves Love Families" or E.L.F. and Santa termed the research and study, "Operation – Families Matter"

Santa and the "E.L.F." group have released some of the data that they have come across and a full report is due for publication early in 2009.

Some of their findings in American and around the world are:

The Federal Government and governments around the world are using men, women, and children as currency for funding outrageous and illegal government programs.

That we as a society are behaving more immorally and unethical, and that we have lost the true meaning for marriage and family.

Dangerous and damaging loopholes involved with certain programs, such as the "No Fault Divorce" and "The Violence Against Women Act" programs; the divorce industry in general.

The lack of parents and society as a whole being able to stand up and demand that their rights be honored and not trampled on, or completely taken away from them, their families, and their children.

Judges, Attorneys, and the Divorce Industry have systematically taken the rights and responsibility to parent, away from the parents.

The Constitution is not working as it should and the Bill of Rights is continually neglected and ignored.

Federal incentive programs and government profits have become more important (priority) rather than what is in the best interest of families and children.

….the findings go on and on!

The brief also goes on to list certain articles already in the mainstream media. Santa was heard saying concerning these articles; "I cannot believe all these people are knowingly allowing this injustice to happen, I am totally saddened and ashamed."

Federal Incentives Make Children Fatherless

http://www.eagleforum.org/column/2005/may05/05-05-11.html

STEPHEN BASKERVILLE, PhD – Articles & Studies http://stephenbaskerville.net/articles-categorized.htm Gender Bias in our Family Court System http://www.fathermag.com/808/GenderBias.shtml The Federal Scheme to destroy Father-Child Relationships http://www.nolanchart.com/article2699.html A quick "Google" search will show that thousands more of these type of articles are available. Santa was also heard saying in anger, "…and I thought stepping in the yellow snow was messy, this injustice happening to families and children is like having your face rubbed in yellow snow…and then choking on it." Santa went on to say, "If something isn’t done soon to stop and/or reform these devastating laws and programs, I am afraid soon there will be no more Christmas’s to celebrate. The destruction of Children and Families will escalate and could easily become the largest human crisis in the history of mankind." As Santa is faced with laying off more Elves again this year and the possibility of the end of Christmas, as we know it, the destruction of Children and Families must stop! Many unemployed Elves are now working in secret with some parental right’s groups and are saying that some progress is being made, but not enough and not fast enough. An Elf who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of his life has stated, "Some of us Elves are trying to infiltrate the highest offices of government and work to change these destructive laws and programs." Many Elves have also stated that no matter how many of them try to help bring about change, they cannot do it alone. They are asking for your help and for you to get involved. One Elf named TickTock said, "After becoming unemployed I spent weeks sitting on my toy box watching the clock. I was acting like a victim and feeling sorry for myself. It was only after learning how many parents and children were in pain and going through injustice that I realized drowning in my own tears would not help a thing." TickTock went onto say while looking at his watch and the clock on the wall numerous times, "I am now involved in the reforming of family law and my life has taken a new direction. I am taking my skill of assembling toys and turning it into a tool to disassemble laws that destroy families!" Strangely, I noticed that TickTock and a couple of other Elves had one-way airline tickets to Washington D.C. They were also packing numerous disguises…. Santa showed great leadership abilities and had a well-disciplined and dedicated chain of command with his Elves, also a well laid out plan of action. Many of the "soldier Elves" looked as though they were preparing for a serious battle. They were all working together and not a sense of egotistic bickering or fear could be seen among them. Surprisingly, they seemed to be much more organized than most, if not all, Father’s and Parental rights groups and organizations in the "lower 48" and around the rest of the world. Who would of thought that a group of toy-making Elves could be this determined? As we all wonder about how many parents will be without their children this Christmas, and how many children without one parent or the other, we should be deeply saddened. This is not how it should to be, children deserve both fit parents! Children that are kidnapped unjustly for profit, from one fit parent, is abuse and inhumane to say the least. It’s not just about two parents putting aside their differences; it’s about the children having the opportunity to have access to both fit and loving parents to enhance their quality of life and their future. It would enhance the quality of life and the future for all of us. We need to unite folk’s and save our Families and Children. These Elves should be an inspiration to us! Remember, they cannot do this alone! We as parents are most responsible for action that is for the best interest of our children and families. These Elves can only walk and fight beside us. Get involved today, not tomorrow. If Santa and the Elves can help fight for our rights to be parents and for the rights of our children, so can YOU!!!! So can WE!!!! Together it will be our families and children that will prevail!!!! Not the greedy, inhumane, family destroying profiteers! GET INVOLVED!!!! Help Save our Children! Help Save our Families! Help Save Christmas!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The USA experience on Domestic Violence soon to be brought to a Province in Canada near you thanks to Chris Bentley our feminist Attorney General

Uncertain Justice

The legal system is hostile to men. In domestic abuse cases, any false allegation a woman makes is likely to ruin a man's life. "Must arrest" laws require police to make an arrest, regardless of the officer's judgment. "Primary aggressor" laws pre-dispose police toward arresting men rather than women, regardless of the truth of an event. "No drop prosecution" policies pressure prosecutors to pursue a criminal conviction, even when they would otherwise drop charges. America's Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) effectively denies the existence of abuse against men, and provides hundreds of millions of dollars in support only to women who claim to be victims of abuse (see videos [1] and [2]).

Clearly, the cards are stacked against men. Both the legal system and popular culture spread the unfair bigotry that men are predisposed to violence, while denying the violence done by women (see research). In this charged environment, a falsely accused man is likely to become forever entangled in a web of lies and distortions, in which he is the prey.

Don't Make Her Mad - Just Expose Her Abuse

Question for men: Ever hear a woman tell you, "Just give me a reason!" or "All I need is an excuse"? She's telling you she's aware of her legal advantages, and that making her angry enough could provide her with just enough inward justification to destroy you with a false allegation. Simply making her mad could cause you to lose your freedom, kids, reputation, career, and finances.

Reacting to such an abusive woman's insane sense of entitlement, too many men respond with hostility (which may backfire). This site advises men against "acting out" toward her in any way, because that could give her all the excuse she needs to fabricate an allegation.

Instead, we advise men to "let her be her threatening self," long enough for it to be captured via surveillance. Yes, we advocate the use of surveillance to expose the outrageous intimidation that women wield against men who would make them angry. This site provides men with the tools they need to prove their innocence. Armed with technology, men can show the legal system and the world that they are not the aggressors that the feminist culture claims them to be.

Arrest Policies in the U.S.

Did you know that in most states, the mere allegation of domestic violence requires an arrest?

Here's a map that illustrates arrest policies in the United States. In the red and orange states, police are allowed little to no discretion to base an arrest on the validity of an accusation. They must arrest "somebody" (usually the man) if domestic abuse is implied. Even when an unthreatened woman violently injures a man, he is the one usually arrested and devastated by a restraining order. The true victim is now blocked from returning home, collecting his belongings, seeing his children, and therefore collecting evidence in his defense.

With so much to lose and so quickly, men who fear the devastating effects of a false allegation must be prepared to show they are innocent.

Tell Your Story

Here's your chance to tell others what you have learned as the victim of a volatile woman. Please share your story! Others in similar situations need to know they are not alone. You may also find it therapeutic to share your experiences.

To tell your story, you will first need to register in our discussion forum. Please be assured that we will always protect your privacy, and will not sell or release your information to anyone. Go ahead, and join in the discussion! Register now, and then tell your story!

Or, if you aren't ready to register, you can also read about the experiences of others before telling your story. Here's the story of John Dias, the creator of this Web site.

Ask the Wizards!

Do you need to record abusive behavior against you? Unsure of the best way to do it? What equipment is available, affordable, and adequate to meet your needs? Our surveillance experts can help! You can check out equipment we recommend, or contact us. You will receive an e-mail reply with recommendations on the most effective technology to achieve your objective.

Give Us Your Opinion!

By promoting surveillance, DontMakeHerMad.com has taken an unusual approach to combatting false allegations against men. What do you think of this approach? Will it have a positive effect on the legal system? Offer your opinion in our Discussion Forum.

What Not To Do if You Are Falsely Accused

If you are falsely accused of domestic violence, be aware of your rights. The American constitution grants you several rights against illegal searches and seizures, and self-incrimination. Police responding to a domestic abuse call will already believe you are guilty (if you're a man accused by a woman). Don't help them. If you are being framed, politely insist on your rights and behave in an exemplary fashion.

Here's a video that shows you how to utilize your rights. It is not specifically about domestic abuse allegations, but the principles are the same. Don't surrender your constitutional rights.

Men are getting shortchanged ~ Gender specific health problems

Monday, November 17, 2008 Men are getting shortchanged By Bill Taylor Monday, November 17, 2008 It seems to me that we, as a nation, are increasingly becoming divided into different groups or categories. We find splits between those who live in large cities and those who live in small towns and rural areas, folks who believe they should control how their income is spent and those who think the government should redistribute earnings among those who work and those who don’t - and, well, you get the idea. One such division recently surfaced once again - but it wasn’t easily recognized by most. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month where there is a lot of publicity including TV spots, marches, newspaper ads, pink ribbons, pink T-shirts, and all sorts of activity to highlight this form of cancer - and to raise millions of dollars in the fight for its detection and cure. This highly commendable effort illustrates the concern of our nation for those who are inflicted with this deadly, gender specific disease. (There are a very few, very rare, cases in which males develop breast cancer, but Breast Cancer Awareness Month addresses only breast cancer in women.) OK, so what does this have to do with these divisions - the separation into different groups or categories? Simple - men also suffer from a deadly, gender specific disease - it’s prostate cancer. So some men are now starting to ask, “Where’s prostate cancer awareness month - or week, or even day? Where’s a postage stamp to raise money for prostate cancer research - the breast cancer awareness one raised over $50 million? Where are the marches, the T-shirts, the TV spots? In short, why doesn’t anyone care about the guys?” Part of the answer lies in the “everybody knows” body of knowledge. Everybody knows that prostate cancer is neither as prevalent nor as deadly as breast cancer, right? Furthermore, those who have prostate cancer will likely die from something else before they die of prostate cancer. Well, according to the latest figures I have seen from the American Cancer Society, the incidence rate per 100,000 people is 135.2 for breast cancer but is 172.3 for prostate cancer. That’s about 27.5% higher for prostate cancer. Oops! Furthermore, the death rate per 100,000 people is 27 for breast cancer, but is 32 per 100,000 for prostate cancer. That’s about 18.5% higher. Double oops! How about one more statistic? The last estimate that I have seen shows that among new cancer cases (excluding non-melanoma cell skin cancers), prostate cancer is projected to be the most common cancer in the country - outstripping both breast cancer and lung and bronchial cancer. Is there such as thing as triple oops? Prostate cancer is the only cancer that doctors not only debate how to treat - sometimes leaving the decision to the patient - but are also are in disagreement about whether to treat it at all even though it kills at a higher rate than breast cancer. One reason is that cancer specialists admit they don’t understand what causes prostate cancer. Sounds like a good candidate for research, right? Well, according to the last figures I have seen, government spending on breast cancer research is 180% of that for prostate cancer. As for clinical trials involving newer ways to defeat the cancers, the number of those involving breast cancer patients is four times that of prostate cancer victims. Kinda makes a guy wonder, doesn’t it? I must admit that I am a bit prejudiced on this subject because I’m a prostate cancer survivor - so far. Regardless, the facts remain - in contrast to the magnificent effort we are making on the behalf of women’s breast cancer, we, as a nation, are shortchanging this male-specific killer. Some fund raisers or increase in research dollars would be nice. Do you suppose we could squeeze out a prostate cancer awareness week somewhere amidst all the other “awareness” celebrations? Not likely - although February 29th might be considered appropriate. Nope, this concern will continue to be largely ignored along with other male-oriented issues - such as men as victims of domestic violence - and, as usual, the guys will be expected to “take it like a man” and get used to it. At least that’s how it seems to me. Bill Taylor may be contacted at solie1@juno.com.


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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A small victory for a dad in Tennessee ~ but it is a sign of hope

Bradley County Family Brings National Attention To Child Custody Cases

Kristen Johnson's picture
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kDuring this holiday season people are thankful for many different things.

For Jeremy Hopkins, this Thanksgiving is the first big holiday he's gotten to spend with his daughter Kate in 2 years.

The same amount of time Hopkins has wrangled through the Bradley County court system to get equal custody of his little girl Kate.

"All I want for my daughter is for her to have mom and a dad," Jeremy Hopkins said in tears.

But his story - not unusual.

"The system allows this to happen, "Michael McCormick with the Institute for American Families said.

McCormick traveled from D.C. and stood on the Bradley County Courthouse steps Wednesday to shed light on the Hopkin's case and many more like them.

In fact he says a million plus children pass through the family courts each year.

And around 4-thousand of them will lose a relationship with one of their parents.

"The courts are going to pick a winner and a loser and when they do that..the child ultimately loses," McCormick told News 12.

McCormick points out that Tennessee does requires parents to develop a parenting plan.

But when a plan can't or hasn't been agreed on, like in the Hopkins case, he says the courts fail to maximize a child's relationship with both parents and typically one parent sees the child for less than 20 percent of the time.

"Rather than trying to strengthen those relationships..the court systems are destroying those," Jeremy's brother David said.

"If we look at what's happening to our society we can trace the social pathologies just as increased rates of incarceration, early sexual activity for girls, truency issues relate to the family breaking down and the social fabric of our society is breaking down in terms of the family breaking down, we are being weaken as a nation and we need to change that," McCormick added.

McCormick says while about 17 million fathers nationwide do not have fair access to their children, about three million mothers experience the same problem.

A video of the press conference is here along with some comments: http://wdef.com/news/bradley_county_family_brings_national_attention_to_child_custody_cases/11/2008#comment-156635

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Katelyn Sampsons Death results in changes focussing on evil men

The death of Katelyn Sampson brought some of the flaws of the Ontario "Justice" System, and Family Law in particular, exposed - like turning over a dead log and seeing the rot underneath complete with the various kinds of multiple legged arthropods reducing the log to its natural state. The decomposition of the family law system and the family itself, however, is still ongoing.

Think of the decomposers running around in the underground labyrinth below and within the log as many - but not all - of your family lawyers eating away at your money and the fabric of our family structure.


Lawyers will tell you they are only doing their job and so it is with the insects under and in the log. They are only doing their job until the fabric of the wood is destroyed and it collapses into the earth. The family is the basic building block of civilization. It is, therefore, the most important link in the ecosystem of humanity. It is being destroyed! Are we seeing the results of over two decades of no fault divorce with over a 1.4 million single parent family households, mostly female, affecting over 3 million children. Is the gang violence and gun use a result of this? Children do far worse in a single family female household. Why?

Families as we know them are changing and the stability of our children impacted by the changes. Here are a few recent facts on families from Stats Can and you can check them out here: http://www12.statcan.ca/english/census06/analysis/famhouse/index.cfm

The data shows 51.5 per cent of people over age 15 were unmarried in 2006, marking the first time married people have been outnumbered in the census, which began nationally in 1871.
In the last census, in 2001, 49.9 per cent were unmarried.
The details on marital status were part of a package of census data released about Canada's families, living arrangements and households. Statistics Canada calls this information its "family portrait" of Canadians.
Census highlights include:
  • For the first time, there were more families without children (42.7 per cent) than with children (41.4 per cent).
  • The number of common-law families surged 18.9 per cent since 2001, to nearly 1.4 million families.
  • Common-law families now make up 15.5 per cent of families, while 20 years ago, they only represented 7.2 per cent.
  • Twenty-six per cent of families with children are headed by a single parent.
  • Of the 1.4 million single-parent families, about 20 per cent are headed by men. The number of men at the head of single-parent families is growing more than twice as fast as the number of women.


Over 25% of families are "broken" and given our basic building block of stable society is the family unit it is worrisome. The trend for single family households headed by men going up does not give me cause for celebration unless the mom is very directly involved on more than a regular access schedule. Both parents need to be involved on an equal basis barring abuse or an intransigent partner. The latter is not conducive to helping the children unless a tightly written and enforceable parenting plan is in play.

Bentley's changes to the family law of this jurisdiction will continue destruction of the family although getting criminal records checks of prospective foster parents is a good step. Why not criminal records checks for parents seeking custody? Does no fault divorce mean being a criminal is OK if you are a parent?


A little girl was killed - put in jeopardy by two drug addicted females who lost control of their lives to chemical abuse and were alleged to have resorted to prostitution to raise cash for their addictions. The AG of Ontario then comes out with legislation, the centre piece of which, is criminalizing restraining orders against men. What is wrong with this picture?

The facts are clear but not politically correct to discuss: Females kill or abuse their children in far greater numbers than men; intimate partner violence is initiated in almost equal quantities by males and females against each other; lesbian's have a higher rate of DV than hetero couples and a higher rate than when one of the former female partners was with a male. (For those Politically Correct types or politicians not astute enough to catch my drift - Lesbians are female)

Are we seeing pandering by Bentley to minimize the political damage from letting two hookers sell/trade a child in his courts and then let her die under our current badly broken family law system. Surely a good fiberal like Bentley, a trained lawyer, wouldn't be so unethical by diverting attention to the evil men from the incompetence found in his department and family law? Surely there is no misandry intended in his lead off press release focusing on men as the perpetrators as follows.

Remember, this was a case of two badly damaged and incompetent females bartering for a little girl. They truly believed women have intrinsic "ownership" rights of children as does our current family court system and all its subsidiary support services devoted to women. The bolding is mine.

Given the tone and nature of Bentley's press release supported by his demeanor at the press conference while wearing a white ribbon it is clear his, and the Liberal government's agenda, is to continue to marginalize men. I have downloaded the forms for filing a complaint to the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal and will give filing one serious thought based on gender bias. One other area not part of this sexist proposed legislation, of many, that is clearly as blatantly gender biased is Breast Cancer screening and Prostate Cancer screening. The former is free, there is massive awareness and campaign(s) to support the cure or treatment of Breast Cancer, there is a special day to focus on it. Prostate Cancer kills more men than does Breast Cancer women. It costs over $70.00 to get a screening. Where is the research, special day and support for eradicating this evil killer? You are right - it doesn't exist. Breasts are far more popular with our politicians - especially the males - to the detriment of their own health and well being!

NEWS
Ministry of the Attorney General
STRENGTHENING CHILD AND FAMILY PROTECTION
McGuinty Government Reforming Family Justice For Ontarians


November 24, 2008

Ontario plans to introduce family law reforms today that would, if passed, better protect women and children and reduce the cost and stress of family court proceedings for Ontarians.

The proposed family law legislation would strengthen child and family protection in times of family breakdown and distress by:

(Note the lead off item targeting men)
• Strengthening abuse prevention for women and children by prosecuting breaches of restraining orders as criminal offences

• Protecting children by ensuring information about a violent history is before the court when making decisions to transfer custody to a non-parent

(The following is also targeted at men - generally speaking and trust me it will only exacerbate conflict not help it. What if a valuation is placed on a pension that is far less in value due to things like stock market collapses. Will the man have to pay regardless. Let's wait and see.)
• Eliminating costly battles over the division of pensions by simplifying the rules


(Does the following mean a father will, if laid off or loses his job, or is homeless have child support reduced to account for his loss of financial stability? Lets hope so but why am I cynical?)
• Reducing family court battles and providing fair child support through automatic annual financial disclosure.

QUOTES
“No one should live in fear in their own homes, which is why we propose to change child custody and restraining order laws to protect Ontario’s women and children,” said Attorney General Chris Bentley. “These reforms would also help families going through separation spend less on family court proceedings, and more on getting on with their lives.” (How will we do this Mr. Bentley - please elaborate on your logic. Please elucidate for those of us who do not understand your scribbles. Do you mean the female won't have to go back to court and can lie through her teeth to further eviscerate a former lover - but you said "help families" - are dads not part of families?)


“This new legislation would give women better access to restraining orders, helping to protect them and their children,” said Deb Matthews, the Minister Responsible for Women’s Issues.
“By expanding eligibility and prosecuting breaches as criminal offences, we will have better tools to stop woman and child abuse.”
(Interesting how they keep using women and their children. Given my comments above, which are supported by hundreds of peer reviewed studies linked in this blog that intimate partner violence is perpetrated equally by both sexes and women are more likely, by a wide margin, to kill or injure their children than men - where is the logic? Oh - sorry - it is only PC to blame the man.)

QUICK FACTS
Under the proposed legislation:
• Prosecuting restraining order breaches under the Criminal Code would allow for tougher enforcement and stricter bail conditions
• Restraining order eligibility would be expanded to those living together in a relationship for fewer than three years
• Non-parental child custody applicants would need to provide a sworn statement on how they propose to care for the child, a summary of involvement from a Children’s Aid Society, and a police records check.

LEARN MORE
Check out what others are saying about the proposed family law reforms.
(If you do go to the website you will find not one comment from a mens or fathers rights group. Only self serving lawyers and feminist oriented advocates of women's rights)


Unfair family law reform
National Post Published: Thursday, November 27, 2008
Re: Ontario To Reform Family Law, Nov. 25.
What Ontario Attorney-General Chris Bentley proposes is to give the courts the right to impose a restraining order which "will be accessible in an emergency from a family judge without the other party being there." The court then has the further right to "prosecute restraining-order breaches under the Criminal Code." Finally: "Anyone applying for custody or access to a child will be required to complete a sworn statement, including how he or she proposes to care for the child."
Let us say, for argument's sake, that a mother seeks to divorce her husband and gain sole custody of, and access to, the children of the marriage. Mr. Bentley has now opened a new door to facilitate this, irrespective of the best interests of the children. All the mother need do is fabricate a spurious charge against her husband, appear before a judge without the husband even being notified and obtain a restraining order.
The husband, being not even aware of the order, may now no longer see his children; if he does, he faces criminal conviction on a charge he did not even know existed. Under the proposed new regulations, not only is it the case that interim custody (to the mother) will determine final custody 90% of the time, as is the current status, but the father will now have to sign a sworn statement declaring his criminal conviction if he is to be allowed to have any access to his children.
Obviously, admission of such criminality will assure his lack of custody or access to his children.
Mr. Bentley's proposal will do more to protect vindictive spouses than children.
Robert Wittes,
Thornhill, Ont.
======================================================================================================================
REFERENCE
Ontario To Reform Family Law
Protect Children
Jordana Huber, Canwest News Service
Published: Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The government of Ontario will make it easier to obtain a restraining order, and will come down harder on those who breach such directives, Attorney-General Chris Bentley said yesterday as he introduced a series of family-law reforms.
Ontario will prosecute restraining-order breaches under the Criminal Code and will increase sentences for contravening an order, Mr. Bentley said.
There also will be new rules regarding child-support payments, division of pensions and custodial arrangements where non-parents are granted guardianship.
"We are going to reform our laws to make sure they work in the difficult times," Mr. Bentley said. "Families in the course of breakup, where one lives in fear, where children live in fear, need the legal supports to protect them."
Under the proposed changes, the eligibility to apply for a restraining order will be expanded to include those who lived together in a relationship for fewer than three years, and will be accessible in an emergency from a family judge without the other party being there.
Mr. Bentley said there are "serious challenges" to enforcing existing restraining-order provisions, and it is unclear how quickly an order can be sought or enforced.
He said the proposed legislation would also make children safer by requiring more evidence for judges to consider when determining the best interests of a child in custody decisions. Anyone applying for custody or access to a child will be required to complete a sworn statement, including how he or she proposes to care for the child, he said.
Non-parents applying for custody also will be required to submit to a police check, and to provide information to the court about any involvement with the Children's Aid Society.
The changes will "strengthen the decision-making process" in the wake of such tragic cases as that of Katelynn Sampson, Mr. Bentley said.
The seven-year-old child was found dead on Aug. 3, in the Toronto apartment she shared with her mother's friend, who had been granted legal guardianship only months earlier.


Male, female abuse victims to be treated equally, ruling states



Download story podcast


10:00 PM PST on Saturday, November 29, 2008
By SANDRA STOKLEY
The Press-Enterprise

Programs that receive state funding to help victims of domestic violence must provide equal services to men and women, under a state appeals court decision that took effect this month.
But several organizations that help Inland-area residents said this week that they are already providing help to men involved in violent relationships.
The decision by the 3rd District Court of Appeal in Sacramento ruled that California domestic violence laws violated men's rights because they provided funding only for women and their children.
"We applaud the ruling," said Protima Pandey, a board member for San Bernardino's Option House, which provides services including emergency housing, transitional housing, counseling and assistance with getting a restraining order.
Domestic violence crosses cultural, racial, religious, income and class lines, and organizations must be prepared to help all who show up at their doors, Pandey said.
"Option House is fortunate enough to have facilities that if a male victim shows up with children, we can provide him with protection," she said.
In its decision, the court said services must be equal but do not have to be identical. For example, an agency that maintains a battered women's shelter can provide a man with a hotel voucher.
The California Department of Public Health's Center for Family Health's domestic violence program is budgeted to receive $20.6 million in 2008-09. That money funds 94 domestic violence shelters.
San Diego attorney Marc Angelucci filed the lawsuit in 2005 on behalf of four men and one of their daughters who were denied accommodations when they tried to leave violent relationships.
Angelucci said that studies show that women are just as likely as men to perpetrate physical violence against their partners.
"It is a huge problem and a very hidden problem," Angelucci said. "But men are less likely than women to report it."
According to the California Department of Justice, in 2007 101 women and 18 men were killed by their spouse, ex-spouse or intimate partner.
"A lot of men are afraid to call police," he said. "They are afraid they will be laughed at or that they will be arrested."
And while women are more likely to seriously injured in a violent relationship, any type of violence has a devastating impact on children exposed to it, Angelucci said.
"It becomes a model for kids to follow," Angelucci said. "Unless you get the men coming forward and give them services, you are continuing the cycle."
KIDS AT RISK
Darryl Evey, director of the High Desert Domestic Violence Program in Victorville, said men who sought help did so out of fear for their children's safety.
Out of 2,011 clients the program helped in 2007-2008, about 20, or 1 percent, were men, Evey said.
"Most of the men who came to us didn't come because they were afraid for their life or feared being put in a hospital," Evey said. "Their fear was abuse against the children."
Because the shelter has accommodations only for women and children, the men are offered vouchers or sent to Valley Oasis, a program that provides shelter for men in abusive relationships.
Eliza Daniely-Woolfolk, chief executive officer of Alternatives to Domestic Violence in Riverside, said her agency has been providing counseling and other services to men for about 11 years.
The agency runs a shelter and provides one-on-one counseling, support groups, anger management programs and therapists who work with both men and women.
DISCRIMINATORY
Angelucci said that as word of the court decision spreads, services provided to battered men should improve.
But he said there is still more to be done.
Web sites for agencies and organizations that offer services to domestic violence victims predominantly feature photos of women and their children.
A Web page with information about spousal abuse on the California attorney general's Web site refers to "she" and "her" exclusively.
"I think it's absolutely outrageous that they stigmatize male victims that way," Angelucci said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I am because I thought things were changing."
Reach Sandra Stokley at 951-368-9647 or sstokley@PE.com


Here is some reaction from the real winners in family destruction and the proposed changes to Ontario law , the lawyers, including my ex's.


The Lawyer's Weekly


Ontario Bar welcomes family law overhaul

By Cristin Schmitz
Ottawa
December 05 2008




Ont. A.G. Chris Bentley announces planned reforms Nov. 24 in Toronto that he says will protect women and children from violence and make family law litigation cheaper, fairer and speedier. (Photo courtesy of Jason George)
Click here to see full sized version.


























Ontario has unveiled a package of reforms that family law practitioners say should cut clients’ costs and improve fairness in the areas of child support, pensions and matrimonial property division.

Bill 133, tabled Nov. 24 by Attorney General Chris Bentley, would also make substantial changes to other aspects of family law, including estates, child custody, restraining orders, and changing children’s surnames.

Many of the proposed amendments were the product of province-wide consultation with family law practitioners, Bentley told The Lawyers Weekly. “They have a broad consensus within the Bar and they will make a measurable difference in making, for example, the family law more affordable [and] faster – and I would point to the pension law changes and others.”

The proposed measures were welcomed by the organized Bar, who described them as “a welcome first step” in updating a provincial family law regime that has not seen major reform since 1986.

“It is the County and District Law Presidents’ Association’s position that additional changes are required, and we believe a comprehensive review is needed in the whole area of family law, along with more judicial resources to ensure better access to justice in Ontario,” said the co-chair of CDLPA’s family law committee, Romuald Kwolek of Orazietti Kwolek in Sault Ste Marie, Ont.

“I think it’s great — it’s going to have a huge impact in a lot of areas where we practise,” enthused the chair of the Ontario Bar Association’s (OBA) family law section, Thomas Dart of Burgar Rowe in Barrie, Ont.

“The pension changes will be the biggest changes for most people,” added Dart. “It’s going to significantly reduce costs for clients who have to deal with pension issues.”

Several practitioners told The Lawyers Weekly they support the government’s plan to amend the Family Law Act (FLA) to oblige parents who pay child support to make annual financial disclosure to the other parent. (Some recipients will also have to disclose to payers). Details will be worked out in regulation once the bill is passed, but it will remain up to recipients to enforce the disclosure obligation, if need be by going to court.

Lawyers therefore questioned whether children will benefit much from the change since the government opted not to automatically re-calculate child support, based on payers’ updated financial information — as is now done in Manitoba and some other provinces.

“I am definitely disappointed because I think [a disclosure obligation and automatic recalculation] should go hand in hand,” commented Judith Huddart of Toronto’s Dranoff Huddart.

Bill 133 gives the provincial cabinet regulatory authority to implement automatic recalculations and to enforce production of the required financial information, but the government did not announce an intention to do either, possibly because of budgetary constraints.

Asked whether his government has the appetite to create a recalculation service, Bentley said the issue lies in the bailiwick of the Minister of Community and Social Services, who oversees the Family Responsibility Office.

Huddart said leaving the onus on recipient parents to go to court to force recalcitrant payers to disclose their income is an unaffordable option for most recipients. “Without a recalculation agency are mothers going to be any better off? We could have made this a lot easier by putting teeth in disclosure.”

But she did suggest that the Bill’s removal of the current legal burden on recipients to ask payers for updated income information could make it easier to obtain substantial retroactive child support payments in court, since payers would no longer be able to argue that recipients failed to ask for timely disclosure.

“I really am hoping that the judges are going to get the message that they can make retroactive orders, [and that]... the government will use this as an opportunity to educate more people about what has to be disclosed,” said Huddart.

CDLPA and the OBA praised the government for heeding lawyers’ pleas to bring some certainty to the vexed issues of spousal pension valuation and divisions. Bill 133 aims to reduce, if not eliminate, the phenomenon of dueling actuaries and litigation that frequently occurs when defined benefit pensions, or hybrid defined benefit/defined contribution plans, are valued.

Again, the bill leaves important details to be worked out by regulation. However, the proposed law calls for the non-member spouse to be paid at the time of separation the present value of his or her share of the plan on the valuation date — usually to be placed in a locked-in RSP — except where the pension is already being paid out at the time of separation.

Pensions would be valued by pension plan administrators according to a formula that is to be prescribed by regulation. The new law would apply prospectively to pension divisions that are not already determined under an agreement or court order at the time of proclamation. The projected age of retirement will be determined after consultation with the Bar, in order to make valuations as fair as possible.

There are four changes to the evidence that must be filed with a court in child custody cases. All parents and non-parents applying for custody or access will be required to submit a sworn or affirmed form containing a parenting-type plan, information about the applicant’s previous or current involvement in family or criminal proceedings, and any other known information relevant to determining the child’s best interests.

The specific questions to be addressed will be developed by the Family Law Rules Committee.

Non-parents (i.e. those who are not biological or adoptive parents or who do not have a declaration of parentage) who seek custody (not access) will be required to submit a recent police records check, as well as a form from children’s aid societies specifying whether the person has, or has had, a file with the CAS; whether that file is open or closed; and the dates between which the file was open. A custody applicant who has moved around within the province will apparently have to obtain information from every CAS in the areas they have lived. This and other implementation issues — for example, whether the disclosure obligation applies to CAS involvement only when the applicant was an adult — will be specified by regulation.

Bill 133 will permit breaches of restraining orders to be prosecuted as criminal offences. CDLPA called this “a constructive step forward,” but practitioners suggested the move should cause judges to revisit their common practice of making spousal restraining orders mutual in those cases where the behaviour of only one spouse is problematic.

In another change called for by the Bar, Bill 133 will permit debts on the marriage date that were “directly related to the acquisition or significant improvement” of the matrimonial home to be excluded from the debtor spouse’s net family property.

Family law lawyers said it is most unfortunate that the government chose not to implement the Bar’s request to fix an unfair anomaly in the FLA’s definition of “matrimonial home” which financially penalizes spouses who bring their residences into the marriage if they and their partners happen to still be living in that residence when they separate. Whether the homeowner spouse has to share the marriage-date value of the property with the other spouse shouldn’t depend on whether they are still living in the property at the time of separation, they said.

“It’s just wrong,” remarked Harold Niman of Toronto’s Niman Zemans Gelgoot. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

The bill would permit a parent who is left off a birth certificate to apply to have their surname added to their child’s surname.


The very best in Politically Correct Greeting Cards

Borrowed from the Sun UK The PC Democratic Nativity Scene Please Note the top left and top right figures
1. Recycling bins outside the stable. 2. A sheep plugging veganism – and muzzled incase it bites – plus another sheep advertising British Meat in fairness to non-vegetables. 3. Banner proclaims: “Atheism Is OK, Too.” 4. “Fathers 4 Justice” protestor in Batman outfit. 5. Solar panels on stable roof. 6. Wiseman in a wheelchair. 7. “Safety In The Stable” poster. 8. Fire extinguisher next to poster. 9. Angel in high-visibility jacket. 10. Wheelchair ramp to stable. 11. Status from other religions surrounds the manger. 12. Joseph wears a hard hat – as does Mary. 13. “Mothers For Justice” demonstrator in Wonder Woman outfit. 14. Hand washing machine. 15. Essential first-aid kit. 16. Figure in T-Shirt with l=slogan: “Scientology Rocks.” 17. Airport-style metal detector.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Are these media personalities using misinformation to extract money from donors?

Some media personalities in Ottawa are promoting a charity event for later this week through the use of misinformation. Read Earl McRae's article immediately following and a few excerpts from the "A" channel on air weatherman Bill Welychka, following that and then my response to them both. After that is an excerpt from Glenn Sacks on lesbian discord that the media doesn't want to call DV and recall my remarks in the email to the two aforementioned parties.MJM
November 21, 2008 Stage against rage Welychka stands up for battered women by organizing fundraising concert By EARL McRAE

I ask Bill Welychka, weatherman for the A-Channel, "Bill, why you, why did you start this, what's the genesis of your interest in the cause?"

Welychka, 41, single, muses briefly. "My parents," he says, "separated when I was in the fourth grade. My five brothers and sisters were older than me and no longer living at home. My mother was a teacher and she moved from Welland to Richmond Hill after the separation. She never got involved in another relationship, and so I was raised by a single mom.

"I don't believe my father had been physically abusive against her, but being the only child at home and brought up as I was by my mother, well there are certain qualities a woman can pass down that a man can't in the same way -- sensitivity, nurturing, compassion, tenderness. I have a lot of feminine sensibilities within me. I have empathy. Most of my friends have all been women."

Fifteen bucks.

That's all Bill Welychka is asking you to spend on Saturday Nov. 29 at Barrymore's. Fifteen bucks. You think nothing of forfeiting $15 to put gas in your vehicle, or buy a few beers at the pub, or buy lottery tickets, or buy a T-shirt. The $15 Bill Welychka's asking you to spend wallops to the sideline all of those, no contest -- the $15 he's asking you to spend will be the best $15 you've ever spent.

To borrow from Nike: Just Do It. Proceeds from Bill Welychka's Men Rocking For Women benefit concert will go to Ottawa's shelters for women who've been subjected to violence from men in their lives: Husbands, common-law husbands, partners, boyfriends; the problem such that the shelters are full, victims -- and children if they have any -- often having to be placed in hotels to await space.

"About 60% of women have, at some point in their lives, experienced at least one episode of physical abuse from a man," says Welychka who'll be emceeing the concert. "I know, myself, more than one woman who has. The shelters are so important. They are mostly privately funded and every cent they get is needed. I'm hoping there'll be at least 500 people at the concert. It starts at 8 p.m. and tickets will be sold at the door."

What you will get for your $15, besides the majestic knowledge that you are helping women who desperately need help, are performances by Alan Frew of Glass Tiger, plus the Ottawa rock bands Heroes Offer Her, Loudlove and Sojourn.

GOODS UP FOR AUCTION

Among the many items for the silent auction will be high-end electronics, gift baskets, Ottawa Senators tickets, Senators team-autographed T-shirts, and artist prints of the Sens. And weekend getaway packages from three hotels: The Chateau Laurier, Les Suites, Arc The Hotel.

There'll be star-talent CDs especially autographed for the concert, including from Anne Murray, Sarah Brightman, the band Coldplay and a DVD signed by the band ZZ Top.

Players from the women's Ottawa Roller Derby League will be there, and donating their own fundraising cheque. Several of the city's top radio and TV personalities will be on stage with quarterback Welychka.

"The more guys you get in the audience, males, seeing these other guys up there putting themselves out and waiving their fees, and when they hear guys explaining the importance of this cause, the more it can only help."

Although this project by Welychka is the first of its kind in Ottawa (and part of the White Ribbon Campaign of men joining in the war against violence towards women), it's not his first. When he was an editor in Toronto with TV's MuchMusic and MuchMoreMusic, he spearheaded successful White Ribbon fundraising campaigns in that city.

If YOU are a business and have something you'd like to donate to Men Rocking For Women, you can phone Welychka at 613-789-6559, ext. 2249, or Tina Mitani at 613-789-0606, ext. 2247.

Bill Welychka didn't have to do this Ottawa concert, no one is paying him, nor would he ask to be paid. He is not a professional concert promoter. It is arduous and time-consuming. He is doing it because he truly cares, he cares about the gender in our society who need the caring of all of us.

Fifteen bucks at the door.

Worth so much more.

From: bill.welychka@atv.ca [mailto:bill.welychka@atv.ca] Sent: Sunday, November 23, 2008 3:51 PM To: swanson@storm.ca Cc: earl.mcrae@sunmedia.ca Subject: RE: Earl Hi Jeremy
Thanks for the time you took in responding to the recent article about the fundraising concert for women's shelters.
My goal has two objectives...
-money being raised
-guys hearing a collective of other guys simply saying "Any kind of violence against women is wrong"
Since the article came out, I have been inundated with emails and phone calls from women sharing their story. I certainly don't need the encouragement to embark on this initiative, but it does show there is a need for it.
Admittedly, I've received a hand-full of emails...like yours...expressing an uneasiness in my undertaking a fundraising initiative. I appreciate all comments and opinions. I also appreciate action. So if you are part of an active email campaign, please forward my response to the others in your circle. I hope you can appreciate my limited time. But my response is a single one-time only email, as I do not wish to get into a back & forth email debate.
You and your collective display concern and intelligence.
You and I both know stats are erroneous and can be manipulated.
I prefer facts. Much more tangible.
The facts tell us quite simply...women's shelters are full.
They are under funded and overcrowded.
A vast majority of these women (some with kids) are there as a result of fleeing an abusive relationship.
Period.
There is no grey area.
There is no debate in discussing the question of fundraising or a message of never condoning violence.
Thanks for reading, and take care.
Bill Welychka
'A' News Ottawa
bill.welychka@Atv.ca
T 613.789.0606 ext. 2249
'A' News
87 George St.,
Ottawa, ON
K1N 9H7
www.Atv.ca
fromMike Murphy
reply-tomjmurphy@nospam.com
toBill Welychka , Earl McRae
ccottsun.oped@sunmedia.ca, mike.therien@sunmedia.ca, anewsottawa@atv.ca
date24 November 2008 14:23
subjectDomestic Violence (DV) Hyperbole, Earl McRae Stage against Rage , Friday, November 21, 2008
mailed-bygmail.com
)
Dear Earl and Bill: I have read with interest your article on DV and its relationship to support of a charitable fund raising event by a colleague of yours, Bill Welychka, also in the media. Both of you are using fiction and, perhaps some might describe hyperbole to market a fund raising event. The exaggeration, amongst other myths put forward in this case, is the fiction "About 60% of women have, at some point in their lives, experienced at least one episode of physical abuse from a man," says Welychka. Mr. Welychka, there is such a thing as truth in advertising. This is an untrue, unfounded statement yet you are using it to collect money from unsuspecting donors. If you are using it on air during your weather show and it turns out you are found to have been misleading viewers will the CRTC have a concern? Will other regulators have a concern that media people are presenting fictions to extract money for a cause that discriminates against 50% of the population. (See below for the genesis of this statement). I guess I understand what motivates you Bill, as by your own admission you are a feminized man. That is not criticism but you clearly lack some of the values and attributes that only a father could have passed on to you and that is not your fault. By the way you can have the same attributes you imply can only be achieved by being raised by a single mother in a father-mother household. Did you know that Domestic Violence (DV) is as likely to be initiated by a female against a man as it is vice versa? Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2005 is a comprehensive report from Stats Can showing an estimated 7% of women and 6% of men representing 653,000 women and 546,000 men in a current or previous spousal relationship encountered spousal violence during the five years up to and including 2004. You can find the report at this link. http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/050714/d050714a.htm Domestic Violence it is less than 11% of all violence in Canada For every 6 battered women there are 5 battered men in Canada Men form more than 65% of the victims of violence in Canada For every 1 murdered woman there are 3 butchered men, For every 1 woman who ends her life, 3 men do the same William Levy-FRA-Montreal, Quebec Keep in mind what you see in the paper is what is reported to police. These appear to be the numbers you have been exposed to. The figures above from Sats Canada are those based on surveys which are more comprehensive. Do you want to become known as panderer's of misinformation and half truths. Based on a Stats Can 2008 report "Family Violence in Canada, http://www.statcan.ca/bsolc/english/bsolc?catno=85-224-X&CHROPG=1 chart 1.3, on Page 15 there is a demonstrated decline in police-reported spousal violence over the period 1998-2006. DV is far from an epidemic . You describe that shelters are full but how do you know this? Have you done a scientific unbiased survey or talked to one person at one shelter? How do you know that all women in these shelters are there because of abuse? How many are there because of addictions, how many are there because they are abusers taking a time out before they get back, how many are there because they lied about abuse but need food, warmth and a bed for a few weeks, how many are there because they are passing through but lied to get the same as the former? Did you know abusive women suffering from alcoholism or drug addictions use these shelters? Did you know that Lesbian relationships have a higher reported level of DV than heterosexual relationships. Both are female in the latter case so why the focus on men being the single and only culprit. Have you enquired about the salary levels in the administration of these shelters. In a recent campaign against misandric ads by a shelter in Dallas, TX the director there was reported to have been making $170,000.00 in pay and benefits. What amount of your charity fund raiser will go toward paying such expenses? Clearly a high school principal in this province with responsibility for over a thousand students, in some cases, doesn't approach this level of remuneration. Are you cherry picking not only mythology but other statistics to suit an agenda that fits with your own self described value system. Out of the approximately 500 shelters in Canada not one provides support for battered men. As a battered man and father I can attest there are no services for me in our community. That is unconstitutional discrimination. Not only that but I have encountered blatant bias by support services in my community as do other men and fathers across Canada. In a recent court decision in California at http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/C056072.PDF it was determined it was unconstitutional for a DV shelter to deny services to a man and his child. This will now spread across the United States and eventually reach Canada and there will be a requirement to supply these services to men who need it, There are a considerable number who do require help from which they are currently ostracized. In an Amicus Brief filed in the above mentioned California case by The National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center they outline many studies, including Canadian ones, indicating females initiate violence against males at least equally or in some cases at a higher rate than men. The brief can be viewed here. http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/C056072.PDF. Why the differences between police reported DV incidents and the survey reports? Men, and I can speak to this with experience, are socialized to internalize and "suck up" abuse. We do not want to demonstrate to others we are in pain or weak, when in fact, the pain may be overwhelming. We do not, for similar reasons, want to let others know we are fearful even in a life threatening situation, as witnessed by those police officers and firefighters, very likely all men, entering the twin towers of the World Trade Centre before they collapsed and they might even resort to black humour to shrug off the danger. Men do not want to have to face their colleagues for a perceived lack of manliness. In simple terms pride plays a lead role in most men not reporting DV from their female spouse. Another one which I pondered greatly as I was a stay-at-home dad due to the abuse I received was the issue of loss of the children. A dad in an abusive situation knows if he leaves his children they may be exposed to DV and if he takes them with him - where could he go! He will have fear the tables will be turned and he could be accused of kidnapping or falsely accused of abuse, which is very common. He is in a lose-lose situation as most contested and uncontested custody cases go to the female partner. The ratio of this is over 9-1 in favour of the mom. As I feared I lost custody of my children due to false allegations of abuse. The family court system and its support services clearly think men are inherently violent and are highly biased toward females and you are reinforcing this fiction. The issue of DV is a complex and serious one and I won't go into great detail or quote specific studies other than those above. The Amicus Brief includes many citations and very succinctly describes the issues in its 42 pages. These issues are relevant in Canada. There are hundreds if not thousands of peer reviewed and valid scientific studies in existence. What I can tell you with clarity is the issue of intimate partner violence cannot be resolved by an approach which panders to people who sit on only one side of the aisle at the expense of half the population. Yes, you both do a disservice to your gender by using fictitious information. DV is a family issue and must be conducted with the involvement of all parties in the family as a unit. Men need to have access to services and perhaps then it will become more socially acceptable for males to try and escape from the abuser and take the children with him who are also deeply affected. Treatment regimes need to involve each member in a holistic manner- I can't say this enough. Had there been services for men perhaps I would not now be divorced. In the interests of balance I would request Mr. McCrae or the Ottawa Sun and the A channel to also report my statements which are backed up by facts not disingenuous platitudes. I will be publishing the information on my blog along with your column. I will also be monitoring further marketing leading up to and during the event and If more misinformation is used to collect money from consumers it may be reported to the appropriate regulatory agencies. Could it cause a loss of credibility for Sun Media and the "A" channel? I think your cause is worthy and abused people (of both genders) do need care and attention, especially the children impacted by family discord, but do not mislead people into believing what you have written or spoken so far.
Michael Murphy

Lindsay Lohan & Girlfriend 'Come to blows in London nightspot'--but don't call it 'Domestic Violence'

November 24th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks

"According to Dr. Donald Dutton, author of Rethinking Domestic Violence, research shows that domestic violence is actually more common in lesbian relationships than in heterosexual relationships.

"For example, one study of 1,100 lesbian or bisexual women who are in abusive lesbian relationships found that the women were more likely to have experienced violence in their previous relationships with women than in their previous relationships with men."

First the story, then a few comments. From Lindsay Lohan And Sam Ronson Fight, Get Couples Counseling (Huffington Post, 11/21/08):

THE most talked-about twosome in Hollywood are talking with a couples counselor to resolve their escalating problems, an insider told Page Six.

Lindsay Lohan (above, in black) and Samantha Ronson (above, in red) "are fighting like cats and dogs," according to our source. "They fight every day, screaming, crying and yelling at each other.

"Sam and Lindsay are still very much together and very much in love, but drama just seems to follow Lindsay, and Sam hates it. She deals with Lindsay every day. And every day for Sam means questioning, 'Is this worth it?' "

Page Six spies saw Lohan and Ronson get into a spat outside of Citrine on West 21st Street recently, and the London Sun published details of a explosive argument this week outside Boujis in London, where Ronson was deejaying.

The paper reported "all hell broke loose" and the screaming match ended with Lohan "in tears."

The wild child sank down in tears following the 4am bust-up with DJ girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

It's not mentioned in the story's headline nor in its lead five paragraphs, but it turns out that what is portrayed as a lover's "spat" is actually a case of domestic violence. The story continues:

The pair had come to blows in a trendy London nightspot after Sam spotted Lindsay dancing with her ex Calum Best.

Witnesses say the DJ flew at the actress "throwing punches" on the dancefloor at Boujis...and playboy Calum, 27, had to tear them apart.

And as they were leaving the club Lindsay hit back at her lover "screaming and spitting" as the pair had to be pulled apart once again.

Another paper reported "Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had their second major spat in a week."

The two lesbian lovers are abusing each other and "throwing punches" and the only man involved--Calum Best--is the one who breaks it up. Tell me, if Lohan was getting punched by her boyfriend as opposed to her girlfriend, would it be labeled a "fight"? Would it be seen as a cute lover's "spat"?

For another recent example of the media not calling lesbian domestic violence "domestic violence," see Wife Stabbed 222 Times by Spouse, but Media Doesn't Call It 'Domestic Violence' Because...