I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Western Family Law Bias Affects India Too!

Press Release for regional expansion of CRISP

Posted by legalfighter on November 8, 2008

PRESS RELEASE

Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Children Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) is an NGO formed in Bangalore to create awareness in the society about the paramount importance of a child’s welfare in a child custody case between erring parents primarily, along with other areas of welfare of children in the broader sense of the physical well being and mental and emotional stability and to promote social and spiritual welfare and education. It is just impossible for a single parent to fulfill the rising demands of children so both the natural parents have to mandatorily co – operate in raising their children in spite of their separation as spouses and individual differences. CRISP is announcing the launch of its new chapters in Delhi, Lucknow and Nagpur and Hyderabad in the first round. Our mission is to open local chapters in all metro cities and tier II cities around the country.

Of late the social institution of marriage in India seems to be crumbling as is evident from the increasing number of divorces especially in urban India. Recent studies have shown 2 out of 5 marriages end in divorces in Mumbai and 10 divorces are filed on an average in a day in Delhi as shown in various media reports. The immediate consequence of such a fallacy reflects on the upbringing of the child from the wedlock. Since children become the objects and objectives of the ego war between erring parents and a tool for bargain, the custody battle becomes a heinous poison which strangulates innocent childhood in the precincts of a litigating corridor.

Today on November 14, 2008 CRISP is happy to launch its local chapter in . CRISP believes this day being an auspicious one as celebrated in India as Children’s Day on account of birthday of our beloved Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, is an ideal day for launching a new CRISP chapter. For Nehruji was a fantastic father as is evident from his letters to his daughter reading which she became one of the most prominent prime ministers in Indian History being known as Iron Lady. He has personified the well known saying, “One father is better than 100 teachers” and emphasized the presence of a father in a child’s upbringing and training to become a good human being.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children. As the same is corroborated by reliable statistics from all over the world show that children brought up in a fatherless society, by depriving children from their fathers, are

· 5 times more likely to commit suicide

· 32 times more likely to run away from home.

· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· 14 times more likely to commit rape.

· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

· 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution

· 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

· 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

· At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.

It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. What happened in the 70s in the Western society is being replicated in India in the current age. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioral problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP was born on Jun 14 2008 on the pretext of Father’s Day. As is mostly seen in child custody cases mothers are generally favored over fathers and the child is deprived of the father’s love which creates an unnatural imbalance in the child’s life and in many cases, because of the undue sentimental balance towards women, tangible evidences are ignored leading to grave injustice to men. In order to curb the same and ensure proper child growth, 50 fathers joined hands in Bangalore to form CRISP and in four months CRISP is happy to have expanded to 500 members including women who realize the importance of both parents in a child’s upbringing. There are many NRIs who have benefitted from the counseling they received from CRISP members.

As per the brilliant work done by R.A. Gardner Parental Alienation Syndrome has been identified as a serious psychological disorder who has defined it as,

The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent

(Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.)

Basically, this means that through verbal and non verbal thoughts, actions and mannerisms, a child is emotionally abused (brainwashed) into thinking the other parent is the enemy. This ranges from bad mouthing the other parent in front of the children, to withholding visits, to pre-arranging the activities for the children while visiting with the other parent. More details can be found at http://www.paskids.com/.

This has been the study of CRISP that members suffering from custodial concerns of their children fear their children developing Parental Alienation Syndrome. In the best interests of the children who are the future of the society and the country CRISP urges the society and the government to understand the problems of children facing litigating parents and work for their welfare.

CRISP is working with eminent social workers on filing a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) in the Honorable Supreme Court. This will PIL will be focused on the prayer to the Honorable Supreme Court to issue universal guidelines applicable all over India to determine the parameters of child welfare and issue guidelines for deciding best interest of children. The PIL is in its advanced stage and will be filed soon.

In addition to the above contentions CRISP is going to present an online petition to the Honorable Chief Justice of India, some of the salient points of the petition, which are also the demands of CRISP from the Government, are:

1. Give due consideration to the presence of a father in a child’s upbringing not only as a name but also as the natural guardian and also give fathers a fair chance to win custody cases.

2. India should also be a signatory to the International Hague Convention for honoring foreign court judgments in India.

3. Define Parental Abduction as a heinous crime and prescribe strict punishment for it by describing it as a cognizable, non – bailable and non – compoundable offense.

4. Orientation programs for judges of family courts to be conducted by psychologists to make them understand child related issues in a scientific and methodical manner.

5. Child custody issues to be disposed off within 6 months of the date of application, or at least visitation be granted to the non – custodian parent (fathers generally) in two hearings or three months whichever is earlier from the date of application and the granted visitation be of such nature so that it can build a sustainable parent – child relationship between the child (ren) and the non – custodian parent.

6. Child interviews should be conducted for complex cases only after the child has been allowed to spend nearly equal and quality time with both the parents and such interviews be limited to adolescents only and then too the interview be viewed as a guiding evidence only and not a primary one and to avoid brainwashing of children’s mind. Ascertaining the choice of children to select a parent is a cruelty of highest order.

7. The Supreme Court needs to emphasize on the need for a separate child welfare ministry separating it from the current clubbed scenario of Women and Child Development Ministry.

8. The courts also need to sensitize themselves to the fact that grandparents have more love for their grandchildren and they should not be deprived of that. Also grandparents have additional time and dedication to impart values to the children out of natural affection instead of expecting the servants who obviously spend maximum time with the children to teach morals.

9. No importance should be given to the individual rights of a parent in a child custody matter. The court who is the ultimate guardian of the child welfare. Any the change of circumstances needs to regularly reflect in the timely orders passed by the court as custody orders by its very nature cannot be a final order.

10. Guardianship courts should be opened specifically for custody matters. So that custody matters are not mixed up with marital problems and appoint counselors and psychologists to conduct regular welfare checks on the growth and upbringing of the children and send reports to the courts.

Lastly as a parting note CRISP would be interested to suggest the following model for shared parenting:

Model 1: In case of matters where both the parents are fit to take care of the children and residing in the same city, the child can stay with one parent during the weekdays i.e. from Monday to Friday and with the other parent during the weekends from Saturday morning to Sunday evening so that the child will get accustomed to both the households.

Model 2: In case of parents not residing in the same city, the child can be given on merits, taking into account the interest of the child, to the mothers and all school vacations, festivals, family occasions, birthdays, etc. the child can spend quality time on a 50 – 50 basis with both parents.

Model 3: In case the child is of tender age, the child may be with mother under normal circumstances under generous visitation rights to the father sufficient to build a sustainable father – child relationship with unlimited access.

With the above models, compulsory counseling has to take place to parents to educate them about the ill – effects of forced single parenthood. Any habitual willful disobedience of the custody orders be viewed seriously and should automatically result in transfer of primary custody of the child from the custodian parent to the non – custodian parent. The situation needs to be monitored by the court. Also disqualification of any parent should be evidence based and not allegation based and the courts need to be gender neutral and promote shared parenting in the best interest of the child.

CHILDREN NEED BOTH THE PARENTS BEST PARENT IS BOTH PARENTS

Thanks and Regards CRISP Team

Click here to download the PDF version

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

And what happens to children deprived of their mothers?

http://ktar.com/?nid=6&sid=986865

est: Slain dad taught boy, 8, to use guns
November 8th, 2008 @ 9:01pm
by Associated Press

ST. JOHNS, Ariz. - A man who police believe was shot and killed by his 8-year-old son had consulted a Roman Catholic priest about whether the boy should handle guns and had taught him how to use a rifle, the clergyman said Saturday.

The father, Vincent Romero, 29, was from a family of avid hunters and wanted to make sure the boy wasn't afraid of guns, said the Very Rev. John Paul Sauter of St. Johns Catholic Church. The boy's stepmother had suggested he have a BB gun, the priest said.

Romero taught his son how to use a rifle to kill prairie dogs, Sauter said. Police say the boy used a .22-caliber rifle Wednesday to kill his father and another man, Timothy Romans, 39, of San Carlos.

The priest did not say how he advised the couple but said Saturday that the boy ``was just too young.''

``That child, I don't think he knows what he did, and it was brutal,'' Sauter said.

The boy, who faces two counts of premeditated murder, did not act on the spur of the moment, St. Johns Police Chief Roy Melnick said. Police are looking into whether he might have been abused.

``I'm not accusing anybody of anything at this point,'' he said Saturday. ``But we're certainly going to look at the abuse part of this. He's 8 years old. He just doesn't decide one day that he's going to shoot his father and shoot his father's friend for no reason. Something led up to this.''

The boy's father and stepmother had gotten married in September, said Sauter, who presided over the wedding.

Romero had full custody of the child. The boy's mother had visited St. Johns from Mississippi the previous weekend and returned to Arizona after the shootings, said Apache County Attorney Brad Carlyon.

On Friday, a judge ordered a psychological evaluation of the boy. Under Arizona law, charges can be filed against anyone 8 or older.

The boy had no record of complaints with Arizona Child Protective Services, Carlyon said.

``He had no record of any kind, not even a disciplinary record at school,'' he said. ``He has never been in trouble before.''

In a sign of the emotional and legal complexities of the case, police are pushing to have the boy tried as an adult even as they investigate possible abuse, Melnick said. If convicted as a minor, the boy could be sent to juvenile detention until he turns 18.

``We're going to use every avenue of the law that's available to us, but we're also looking at the human side,'' he said.

The boy's lawyer, Benjamin Brewer, said his client is generally in good spirits.

``He's scared,'' he said. ``He's trying to be tough, but he's scared.''

Police are also investigating whether there were any domestic violence calls to the Romero home in the past, Melnick said.

Officers arrived at Romero's home within minutes of the shooting Wednesday in St. Johns, which has a population of about 4,000 and is 170 miles northeast of Phoenix. They found one victim just outside the front door and the other dead in an upstairs room.

Romans had been renting a room at the Romero house, prosecutors said. Both men were employees of a construction company working at a power plant near St. Johns.

The boy went to a neighbor's house and said he ``believed that his father was dead,'' Carlyon said.

Melnick said police got a confession, but Brewer said police overreached in questioning the boy without representation from a parent or attorney and did not advise him of his rights.

FBI statistics show instances of children younger than 11 committing homicides are very rare. According to recent FBI supplementary homicide reports, there were at least three such cases each year in 2003, 2004 and 2005; there were at least 15 in 2002. More recent statistics weren't available, nor were details of the cases.

Photo caption: This photograph taken Saturday Nov. 8, 2008 shows the house where Vincent Romero, 29, and Timothy Romans, 39, of San Carlos, Ariz were found fatally shot in St. Johns, Ariz. on Wednesday. Police in this small eastern Arizona community are looking into the possibility that an 8-year-old boy who is charged with killing his father and another man with a rifle had been abused, the police chief said Saturday. (AP Photo/Dana Felthauser)

Michael J. Murphy said...

Anonymous:

I've been following this tragic story and, like you, have many questions. This is the first excerpt I've seen where mom was mentioned.

Its still too early to make informed comments about the circumstances. What I do know is that every boy who grew up on a farm in Canada learned how to safely use rifles. If you've ever seen an overturned tractor or combine that tipped from breaking through prairie dog or ground hog holes and the damage to machine and operators then one gets a better understanding on the use of these tools. I've participated in the shooting of these animals as part of the safety program of those who operate equipment in fields. The guns should never be stored so that the child has unsupervised access to both the gun and ammunition, however. This child seems to have had such access.

That they would contemplate to try an 8 year old as an adult - or speculate on it is troubling. The poor child is way too young to have an understanding, in his own mind, of the nature of what he did. Abuse may be a factor but the police uttering these comments appear to be rank amateurs. It is nothing but speculation as well.

Lets wait and see how it unfolds. Children need both mom and dad to provide equal balance to their lives - not one or the other.

I'm going to wait for more information before drawing any conclusions.