The legal system is hostile to men. In domestic abuse cases, any false allegation a woman makes is likely to ruin a man's life. "Must arrest" laws require police to make an arrest, regardless of the officer's judgment. "Primary aggressor" laws pre-dispose police toward arresting men rather than women, regardless of the truth of an event. "No drop prosecution" policies pressure prosecutors to pursue a criminal conviction, even when they would otherwise drop charges. America's Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) effectively denies the existence of abuse against men, and provides hundreds of millions of dollars in support only to women who claim to be victims of abuse (see videos  and ).
Clearly, the cards are stacked against men. Both the legal system and popular culture spread the unfair bigotry that men are predisposed to violence, while denying the violence done by women (see research). In this charged environment, a falsely accused man is likely to become forever entangled in a web of lies and distortions, in which he is the prey.
Don't Make Her Mad - Just Expose Her Abuse
Question for men: Ever hear a woman tell you, "Just give me a reason!" or "All I need is an excuse"? She's telling you she's aware of her legal advantages, and that making her angry enough could provide her with just enough inward justification to destroy you with a false allegation. Simply making her mad could cause you to lose your freedom, kids, reputation, career, and finances.
Reacting to such an abusive woman's insane sense of entitlement, too many men respond with hostility (which may backfire). This site advises men against "acting out" toward her in any way, because that could give her all the excuse she needs to fabricate an allegation.
Instead, we advise men to "let her be her threatening self," long enough for it to be captured via surveillance. Yes, we advocate the use of surveillance to expose the outrageous intimidation that women wield against men who would make them angry. This site provides men with the tools they need to prove their innocence. Armed with technology, men can show the legal system and the world that they are not the aggressors that the feminist culture claims them to be.
Arrest Policies in the U.S.
Did you know that in most states, the mere allegation of domestic violence requires an arrest?
Here's a map that illustrates arrest policies in the United States. In the red and orange states, police are allowed little to no discretion to base an arrest on the validity of an accusation. They must arrest "somebody" (usually the man) if domestic abuse is implied. Even when an unthreatened woman violently injures a man, he is the one usually arrested and devastated by a restraining order. The true victim is now blocked from returning home, collecting his belongings, seeing his children, and therefore collecting evidence in his defense.
With so much to lose and so quickly, men who fear the devastating effects of a false allegation must be prepared to show they are innocent.
Tell Your Story
Here's your chance to tell others what you have learned as the victim of a volatile woman. Please share your story! Others in similar situations need to know they are not alone. You may also find it therapeutic to share your experiences.
To tell your story, you will first need to register in our discussion forum. Please be assured that we will always protect your privacy, and will not sell or release your information to anyone. Go ahead, and join in the discussion! Register now, and then tell your story!
Or, if you aren't ready to register, you can also read about the experiences of others before telling your story. Here's the story of John Dias, the creator of this Web site.
Ask the Wizards!
Do you need to record abusive behavior against you? Unsure of the best way to do it? What equipment is available, affordable, and adequate to meet your needs? Our surveillance experts can help! You can check out equipment we recommend, or contact us. You will receive an e-mail reply with recommendations on the most effective technology to achieve your objective.
Give Us Your Opinion!
By promoting surveillance, DontMakeHerMad.com has taken an unusual approach to combatting false allegations against men. What do you think of this approach? Will it have a positive effect on the legal system? Offer your opinion in our Discussion Forum.
What Not To Do if You Are Falsely Accused
If you are falsely accused of domestic violence, be aware of your rights. The American constitution grants you several rights against illegal searches and seizures, and self-incrimination. Police responding to a domestic abuse call will already believe you are guilty (if you're a man accused by a woman). Don't help them. If you are being framed, politely insist on your rights and behave in an exemplary fashion.
Here's a video that shows you how to utilize your rights. It is not specifically about domestic abuse allegations, but the principles are the same. Don't surrender your constitutional rights.