I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Battered Men’s Shelter and Counselling Resources in Canada

The following is part of a dialogue with an individual named Karen Anne Stephenson who believes fervently that tax supported resources are available in Canada for battered men. We wait with bated breath for the information so we men, looking for these services, can get them.

As of February 2/09 she still hasn't got back to me. If you are interested in reading the original article it is here. http://abuse-recovery.suite101.com/article.cfm/husband_abuse_support_and_recovery

She went to the trouble of stating no reproduction without permission. Given it is largely fiction I won't waste space here with it.

From: Mike Murphy [mailto:mike.murphy@nospam.ca] Sent: January 30, 2009 10:00 AM To: 'karenanne24@hotmail.com' Subject: Battered Men's Emergency Shelters


I'm not sure who or what your sources are but you do indeed have a very big credibility problem when it comes to identifying real, identifiable, battered men's shelters equivalent to those 557 or so women's emergency shelters across Canada and the concomitant tax supported counselling services available for dad's and their children. I'm not talking soup kitchens or "mission" houses that serve both men and women for emergency shelter.

I live in Sault Ste. Marie, ON and they don't exist here or in our closest community of any size Sudbury. It is 3.5 hours from my community. Not much good even if they did have such a facility, don't you think.

I checked the federal government produced book you referenced in your original article and it must have been a summer/make work project because the references for men's services in my community do not provide help for battered men. As is the case with many federally produced directories of this type no one actually called these places to verify the information. I suspect you are in the same boat but hopefully you can prove me wrong as I have been looking for help for 14 years with no success. The books are a waste of taxpayer's money.

The Algoma Family Services, listed in the directory, provide anger management and supervised access for men (I guess for women too but it would be rare) who have been found in need of this but that is all. They, in fact, appear to be a feminist run organization and my own experience has been they are biased toward women and see men as nothing but a problem. It took me 72 days to get a response about counselling for my children despite it being the law and I had a court order as well. The only way I finally got a response was to threaten the feminist Executive Director with court action. They then saw fit to have their own lawyer give me the information I wanted originally which they could easily have provided, in an attempt to intimidate me. As it turned out they could not provide any counselling for my child for 12 months but had enough money to have a lawyer write a minimum $200.00 letter to me. You can read the correspondence here if you like in Chapter 59 of the raw material on my blog which may someday turn into a book on my journey through the dysfunctional family court system. http://parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html You are now part of that journey and I would like to quote you accurately in my blog and perhaps in the book. I wait to see your list of equal tax supported counselling and shelter services for men. If you cannot do this then I also expect to see a retraction and given the embarrassment you will suffer perhaps you could join with us as an advocate for equal access to these resources. I may be sending in a human rights complaint very soon to see if that will light a fire under the "gluteus maximi" of the politicians who are nothing more than a festering boil on the ass of progress when it comes to dealing with fathers in many areas of the social functioning of Ontario. That is also true of other provinces in this great nation. Please provide me with the accurate information that a typical Canadian father can easily access with his children, and is equivalent to the current services offered females. I do not want pay as you go. I cannot afford the $150.00 per hour charge of professional counselling.


C. R. Jones said...

Mike, Thanks for responding. I find it difficult to respond to the lame assertions that quite frankly do not know anything about what they report to speak of. (I know this is tortured prose.) It sort of feels like an Israeli trying to have a reasonable discussion with a Hamas terrorist in Gaza. I mean it is just impossible to hear such twisted rhetoric purporting to be logical.
However, your "on the ground" observation was the most important. This is real intelligence. I suggest that we pool this info from anyone who has similar experiences. As men, the location of Women's Shelters - not to mention who works there or what they are up to and how spend their funding - are closely guarded "state" secrets. In Edmonton if you ask you are instantly suspected as having dark designs. The GM of my daughters soccer was a cop and he said that he COULD tell me where they were in the city and what they did - but he would have to kill me after-wards. He wasn't kidding.
Yet, these are the places listed as supporting DV against Men in Edmonton. It is a joke. If you call them, they will offer to meet you at a nearby Tim Horton's, check your ID and unless you have kids with you, direct you to the nearest homeless shelter. That's treatment.

Michael J. Murphy said...


I'll post the original article she did with her references. It is referenced in my gmail folder under DV and I'll pull it out to give better context. I'm not sure if you've seen some of the info that's been passed between some of the Father's Rights people and her but I am certainly interested in her actual findings but not holding my breath. She sounds like a do-gooder Fed with no real knowledge of what she states.

Anonymous said...

I have recently moved back to the soo from alberta 2 weeks ago.i left my kids mother back in alberta due to her addictions issues.when i came here i called ontario works on a monday waited till the friday to see them and received a cheque on the following wednesday.i have both my sons with me.when i seen the worker at ontario works i was treated like crap.she sat and told me nothing about services here in the soo.i told her if i was a women the red carpet would be rolled out for me.i told her i was staying with my sister in a small 2 bedroom apt.she gave me a long list of stuff i had to provide her with before she said i was eligible.i received basic needs and no shelter because she called my sisters landlord and was told by the landlord that i wasn't allowed to stay here,thats another story in itself lol.so when i went back to see her i asked her where do me and my kids go then,her reply was kids go to cas and i go to a hostel.i told her NO THANKS.i said to her if i was a women where would i go then she said well to a shelter.i called tony martins office and his assistant made some calls and helped me out with alot more then the ontario works did for me.also tonys assistant said they were going to make a formal complaint to ontario works on my behalf because she said the worker had no right to call my sisters landlord and that the worker more or less made me homeless and the end of the month.housing tribunal said the ladlord can't kick me out because i am my sisters guest.in closing there is NOTHING for single men and kids here in the soo or anywhere else.i have added this site to my favorites and check on it

Michael J. Murphy said...

Thanks for your information. Feel free to email me with any further info on trying to get help for you and your children through a shelter. The local DV shelter offers first class service to females including in house counselling, legal referrals and if you are a women I am told many ways to work out solutions to a divorce if that is a goal. I am told they encourage the splitting of families but haven't seen it first hand.

The more information you can provide the more ammunition I will have when i launch my human rights complaint regarding the lack of facilities for men, especially those subject to DV. I will keep your name out of it.

Let me know what specific things you were able to get from Tony Martin. That will be useful for other men.

If you have the name of the Ontario works worker let me know that as well. They will write slanderous letters on behalf of a woman to "get" a man but if they treated you badly that also speaks about discrimination and bias.

See Chapter 17 in this blog on my exchange of letters with one such worker. email is parentalalienationcanada@gmail.com