I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

More on Tug of War by Harvey Brownstone

Tug of War

by Harvey Brownstone

Price: $19.95

Tug of War is the first book of its kind. Written by a sitting family court judge in layman’s language, it demystifies complex family law concepts and procedures, clearly explains how family court works, and gives parents essential alternatives to resolve their own custody battles and keep their kids out of the often damaging court system.

Breakup rates in North America are skyrocketing. Recent statistics say 45% of marriages end in divorce, and at the centre are countless children, thrust by their families into a complex and seemingly impermeable family court system. Tug of War explains the role of lawyers and judges in the family justice system, and examines the parents’ own responsibilities to ensure that post-separation conflicts are resolved with minimal damage to the children stuck in the middle of parental disputes.

Justice Harvey Brownstone explores themes that apply to all families and parents in conflict. He draws on fourteen years sitting on the family court bench to provide clear case examples with inclusive and accessible language. Tug of War describes alternatives to litigation and exposes the myth that parents can represent themselves without a lawyer in family court. Justice Brownstone discloses the inner struggles of parents, judges and lawyers in the maelstrom of marital conflict.

This book is a must-read for couples involved in or contemplating separation, family law judges, lawyers, mediators, parenting coaches, psychologists, family counselors, social workers, students and professors of family law at law schools. It is endorsed by judges currently sitting in Ontario and New York State.

Comments:

be honest

Harvey has made a career out of the Legal Abuse System and has been full participant in this long ongoing destruction of families at their weakest moments(mentally,financially,emotionally)people are stripped to the bone. It is lunacy to cast rose petals of addoration in his direction for having written a book about his own role and arrogant thoughts. I mean what next ? a Redux of Pontious Pilate as the hero and Christ as supreme villain and troublemaker

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 22:36.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 545     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => be honest     [comment] => 

Harvey has made a career out of the Legal Abuse System and has been full participant in this long ongoing destruction of families at their weakest moments(mentally,financially,emotionally)people are stripped to the bone. It is lunacy to cast rose petals of addoration in his direction for having written a book about his own role and arrogant thoughts. I mean what next ? a Redux of Pontious Pilate as the hero and Christ as supreme villain and troublemaker

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237520165 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0x/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

Are you kidding me? Pontious Pilate? Sounds like you lost your case, my friend. But, let me tell you, I have witnessed Judge Brownstone - on more than one occasion - sitting on the bench, dealing with child abusers, wife-beaters, vengeful women scorned... and worse. He is a patient man who contends with nasty situations compassionately and fairly. I can assure you that Judge Brownstone doesn't get up each morning and say, "Oh, goody gum-drops, another day of ruining lives". In reality, he probably resigns himself to another sorry day of dealing with people who have already done that job for him. No, Harvey Brownstone isn't out to cause anyone more pain than they've caused themselves. His job is to sort through the ugliness and find reasonable solutions; a job he does well.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 20:15.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 552     [pid] => 545     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Interested Bystander     [comment] => 

Are you kidding me? Pontious Pilate? Sounds like you lost your case, my friend. But, let me tell you, I have witnessed Judge Brownstone - on more than one occasion - sitting on the bench, dealing with child abusers, wife-beaters, vengeful women scorned... and worse. He is a patient man who contends with nasty situations compassionately and fairly. I can assure you that Judge Brownstone doesn't get up each morning and say, "Oh, goody gum-drops, another day of ruining lives". In reality, he probably resigns himself to another sorry day of dealing with people who have already done that job for him. No, Harvey Brownstone isn't out to cause anyone more pain than they've caused themselves. His job is to sort through the ugliness and find reasonable solutions; a job he does well.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237598126 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0x.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 1 [new] => 0 )

Harvey Brownstone notes the problems Inherent in family law, but he then attributes them to defects in the people undergoing family breakdown. The Judge sees no causative role for the system of family law that produces the same conflict with divorcing and separating parents year in and year out. What he says is this: "If only these people wouldn't be so upset, my job would be so much more pleasant. Why can't they just learn to sit at the back of the bus?"

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 17:48.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 544     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Practicing in Alberta     [comment] => 

Harvey Brownstone notes the problems Inherent in family law, but he then attributes them to defects in the people undergoing family breakdown. The Judge sees no causative role for the system of family law that produces the same conflict with divorcing and separating parents year in and year out. What he says is this: "If only these people wouldn't be so upset, my job would be so much more pleasant. Why can't they just learn to sit at the back of the bus?"

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237502930 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0w/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

Get real!

No one invites people to go to Family Court. If parents don't want judges to make the decisions, then they should get the help they need to make decisions about their children together. Tug of War is the best book I've ever read, and every parent, separated or not, should read it.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 11:24.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 546     [pid] => 544     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Get real!     [comment] => 

No one invites people to go to Family Court. If parents don't want judges to make the decisions, then they should get the help they need to make decisions about their children together. Tug of War is the best book I've ever read, and every parent, separated or not, should read it.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237566295 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0w.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 1 [new] => 0 )

Glenn Tyrrell

Going to court only takes the motivation one person to accomplish. Yet you are so quick to put the "s" on the end of parent? And when the scale is tipped in your favor? Why not!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 14:43.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 551     [pid] => 546     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Glenn Tyrrell     [comment] => 

Going to court only takes the motivation one person to accomplish. Yet you are so quick to put the "s" on the end of parent? And when the scale is tipped in your favor? Why not!

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237578190 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0w.00.01/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 2 [new] => 0 )

Mike Murphy

You are assuming both parents are able to see past narcissistic, self interest. You are assuming both have all their mental faculties and can think somewhat logically with no short circuiting in the processing of information. When one is the latter they already know they are right and no book will change their mind.

Books, or indeed any self help information, serve no family if only one party to a divorce wants to read it. Perhaps if it is so good judges will order it read by all warring couples. I'll vote for that.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 13:35.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 548     [pid] => 546     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Mike Murphy     [comment] => 

You are assuming both parents are able to see past narcissistic, self interest. You are assuming both have all their mental faculties and can think somewhat logically with no short circuiting in the processing of information. When one is the latter they already know they are right and no book will change their mind.

Books, or indeed any self help information, serve no family if only one party to a divorce wants to read it. Perhaps if it is so good judges will order it read by all warring couples. I'll vote for that.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237574130 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0w.00.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 2 [new] => 0 )

Right on!

That is the best comment I've read on this blog so far. EVERY parent should be ordered by the court to read Tug of War.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 14:02.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 549     [pid] => 548     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Right on!     [comment] => 

That is the best comment I've read on this blog so far. EVERY parent should be ordered by the court to read Tug of War.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237575733 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0w.00.00.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 3 [new] => 0 )

Mike Murphy

I have not yet had a chance to read the book but will when it gets to my library here in Sault Ste. Marie. Due to the bias I have encountered so far in FLAW (Family Law) my cash resources are dwindling fast and have little left to purchase it. My story is typical of many men. Some non-Divorce Industry posters are praising the Judge. Some say they are men but do not leave their name. I find that interesting they do not have the courage of their convictions. Perhaps Brownstone is the only Judge handling FLAW cases in Ontario who does things differently where Dads are concerned. Has he changed the ratio of orders for custody he approves from the 9-1 in favour of females that is consistent across Canada. I'm speaking of both contested and uncontested. Most dads have a metaphorical gun placed to their forehead by their lawyers saying give the mom custody and cut your losses now. Thus dads are marginalized to 14% visitors and cease being a legal parent. The Nanny State and the Mother (until the boyfriend moves in) are the new parents. Then the non-bio boyfriend sees the children 24/7 and increases the likelihood of a host of negative outcomes to the child including physical and emotional harm. Is Brownstone's discussion of non-represented litigants implying this is the best course of action for dads?

Did he discuss changes to the system to reduce litigation such as the following:

Entitlements to female litigants under the current regime are an inducement to take unilateral action (66-70% of divorces are initiated by the female).

Given there are no tests to get married society is encumbered with the aftermath of failed relationships. We need to be more proactive. These are steps required to get the job done better than now.

First - compulsory counselling before lawyers are hired.

All counselling would have an identifiable outcome. Reconciliation, further mitigating counselling of a more specialized nature or mediation. We currently spend $208,000,000.00 per year on women's issues alone in Ontario, none on men. Wouldn't it be useful to spend some money on "family" issues instead of one gender!

The next step would be mediation but this would be tax supported and compulsory if counselling does not get the warring parties properly focused, not including lawyers. Next if required, lawyers - if anyone can afford them. They are clearly pricing themselves out of the market and are becoming redundant for the average person. If no lawyers then the feuding couple need guidance on how to take the required steps to get to court which should be the last resort. No Fault divorce must end and all the perceived entitlements a female litigant will get including almost automatic custody and "ownership" of the children. This happens even if the female (or male as the case may be) has committed criminal acts affecting the livelihood of the other partner and ruined their career and reputation. To do this the divorce act must be changed to include a presumption of equal and shared parenting for fit parents. This gives judges no discretion which in 90% of cases they currently award or approve custody to the mother. Judges are currently part of the problem in addition to the pickpockets we call lawyers.

The best interest of the child is not met by any description I have read of Brownstone's or any other judge. By allowing a winner take all approach under the current rules dads by far are marginalized and all studies show this is clearly not in the best interest of children. Until the above are instituted not much will change but I do congratulate Judge Brownstone for taking FLAW out of the closet and putting it on the table in front of all of us. For that he gets Kudos. Most judges don't have the family jewels to rock the boat from their current conservative, feminist/marxist entrenched ideological decision making template that gives dads the boot as parents but keeps them around as wallets.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 11:41.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 538     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Mike Murphy     [comment] => 

I have not yet had a chance to read the book but will when it gets to my library here in Sault Ste. Marie. Due to the bias I have encountered so far in FLAW (Family Law) my cash resources are dwindling fast and have little left to purchase it. My story is typical of many men. Some non-Divorce Industry posters are praising the Judge. Some say they are men but do not leave their name. I find that interesting they do not have the courage of their convictions. Perhaps Brownstone is the only Judge handling FLAW cases in Ontario who does things differently where Dads are concerned. Has he changed the ratio of orders for custody he approves from the 9-1 in favour of females that is consistent across Canada. I'm speaking of both contested and uncontested. Most dads have a metaphorical gun placed to their forehead by their lawyers saying give the mom custody and cut your losses now. Thus dads are marginalized to 14% visitors and cease being a legal parent. The Nanny State and the Mother (until the boyfriend moves in) are the new parents. Then the non-bio boyfriend sees the children 24/7 and increases the likelihood of a host of negative outcomes to the child including physical and emotional harm. Is Brownstone's discussion of non-represented litigants implying this is the best course of action for dads?

Did he discuss changes to the system to reduce litigation such as the following:

Entitlements to female litigants under the current regime are an inducement to take unilateral action (66-70% of divorces are initiated by the female).

Given there are no tests to get married society is encumbered with the aftermath of failed relationships. We need to be more proactive. These are steps required to get the job done better than now.

First - compulsory counselling before lawyers are hired.

All counselling would have an identifiable outcome. Reconciliation, further mitigating counselling of a more specialized nature or mediation. We currently spend $208,000,000.00 per year on women's issues alone in Ontario, none on men. Wouldn't it be useful to spend some money on "family" issues instead of one gender!

The next step would be mediation but this would be tax supported and compulsory if counselling does not get the warring parties properly focused, not including lawyers. Next if required, lawyers - if anyone can afford them. They are clearly pricing themselves out of the market and are becoming redundant for the average person. If no lawyers then the feuding couple need guidance on how to take the required steps to get to court which should be the last resort. No Fault divorce must end and all the perceived entitlements a female litigant will get including almost automatic custody and "ownership" of the children. This happens even if the female (or male as the case may be) has committed criminal acts affecting the livelihood of the other partner and ruined their career and reputation. To do this the divorce act must be changed to include a presumption of equal and shared parenting for fit parents. This gives judges no discretion which in 90% of cases they currently award or approve custody to the mother. Judges are currently part of the problem in addition to the pickpockets we call lawyers.

The best interest of the child is not met by any description I have read of Brownstone's or any other judge. By allowing a winner take all approach under the current rules dads by far are marginalized and all studies show this is clearly not in the best interest of children. Until the above are instituted not much will change but I do congratulate Judge Brownstone for taking FLAW out of the closet and putting it on the table in front of all of us. For that he gets Kudos. Most judges don't have the family jewels to rock the boat from their current conservative, feminist/marxist entrenched ideological decision making template that gives dads the boot as parents but keeps them around as wallets.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237480864 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

Oh, boo-hoo, poor dead-beat dads. You make it sound like Brownstone goes easy on women but this is one female who got slammed by that bastard. He put me in jail for chrissake. A mother of three kids behind bars while that shit-for-brains is plugging his bullshit book on TV. Now, there's justice for ya. Not only that, the fucker took my kids away. I can't even see them without supervision while that sonofabitch ex of mine has custody. No point in getting into why I lost my kids or ended up in jail but I will say I didn't deserve any of it. I mean, until that idiot Brownstone interfered, I had it all figured out so the kids never even saw their useless piece-of-crap father. Everything was going just the way I wanted and now it's all fucked up. So, look out ladies, Harvey's out to getcha.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 20:52.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 553     [pid] => 538     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Furious Female     [comment] => 

Oh, boo-hoo, poor dead-beat dads. You make it sound like Brownstone goes easy on women but this is one female who got slammed by that bastard. He put me in jail for chrissake. A mother of three kids behind bars while that shit-for-brains is plugging his bullshit book on TV. Now, there's justice for ya. Not only that, the fucker took my kids away. I can't even see them without supervision while that sonofabitch ex of mine has custody. No point in getting into why I lost my kids or ended up in jail but I will say I didn't deserve any of it. I mean, until that idiot Brownstone interfered, I had it all figured out so the kids never even saw their useless piece-of-crap father. Everything was going just the way I wanted and now it's all fucked up. So, look out ladies, Harvey's out to getcha.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237600342 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.01/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 1 [new] => 0 )

Anon

I'm with you, girlfirend. That so-called judge accuses me of neglecting my kids. Well, judge THIS you smug jerk: I'm a good mother, a great mother... BUT, YOU'RE THE BIGGEST MOTHER OF THEM ALL.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 22:18.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 555     [pid] => 553     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Anon     [comment] => 

I'm with you, girlfirend. That so-called judge accuses me of neglecting my kids. Well, judge THIS you smug jerk: I'm a good mother, a great mother... BUT, YOU'RE THE BIGGEST MOTHER OF THEM ALL.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237605529 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.01.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 2 [new] => 0 )

Friends told me about this site and after reading the stuff posted, I had to add my two-cents. I'm also a victim because Harvey 'Brimstone' has put me in hell. Alot of lies were told about me and that awful man believed every one of them. Then I lost custody of my kids. He doesn't even have kids so what does he know? Harvey 'Brimstone' thinks he's playing devil's advocate but, really, he's Satan incarnate. So, sisters, if you end up in Family Court and get him as your judge, be afraid. Be very afraid.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 22:41.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 556     [pid] => 555     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Friends told me about this     [comment] => 

Friends told me about this site and after reading the stuff posted, I had to add my two-cents. I'm also a victim because Harvey 'Brimstone' has put me in hell. Alot of lies were told about me and that awful man believed every one of them. Then I lost custody of my kids. He doesn't even have kids so what does he know? Harvey 'Brimstone' thinks he's playing devil's advocate but, really, he's Satan incarnate. So, sisters, if you end up in Family Court and get him as your judge, be afraid. Be very afraid.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237606862 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.01.00.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 3 [new] => 0 )

I like the name 'Brimstone'. It really applies. He isn't just the biggest mother of them all, he's the biggest mother-fucker... and not in the biblical sense. Because he fucks us mothers around all the time. Who the hell does he think he is? God? Well, I agree that he's the complete opposite. There should be a sign above his courtroom that says Beware All Women Who Enter Here.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 22:51.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 557     [pid] => 556     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => I like the name 'Brimstone'.     [comment] => 

I like the name 'Brimstone'. It really applies. He isn't just the biggest mother of them all, he's the biggest mother-fucker... and not in the biblical sense. Because he fucks us mothers around all the time. Who the hell does he think he is? God? Well, I agree that he's the complete opposite. There should be a sign above his courtroom that says Beware All Women Who Enter Here.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237607494 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.01.00.00.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 4 [new] => 0 )

Mike Murphy

I'm sorry to hear of your plight ladies. I know how it feels to lose children so I understand your feelings. What if there was a legal presumption of shared and equal parenting upon divorce for fit parents. It would then be 50-50 without a trial? Would that be better?

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 23:55.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 558     [pid] => 557     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Mike Murphy     [comment] => 

I'm sorry to hear of your plight ladies. I know how it feels to lose children so I understand your feelings. What if there was a legal presumption of shared and equal parenting upon divorce for fit parents. It would then be 50-50 without a trial? Would that be better?

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Gord Jones

Read the book. You will be pleased. This judge is special - and I say that as a father who spent 8 months litigating in front of him - and winning shared custody 50-50 of my 2 children.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 13:00.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 539     [pid] => 538     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Gord Jones     [comment] => 

Read the book. You will be pleased. This judge is special - and I say that as a father who spent 8 months litigating in front of him - and winning shared custody 50-50 of my 2 children.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237485644 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 1 [new] => 0 )

Mike Murphy

Thanks for the info. I'm pleased you got what you should have had as a right from the get go. I will definitely take your advice and read the book. My trial is upcoming after 4 years of trying to get at least shared custody but I have an ex who wants all her perceived entitlements and alienated the children in her efforts to get it - among many indiscretions. Actions like this Judge's should send a clear message to law makers that all is not well. Hopefully they are listening and will consult broadly with FR groups.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 15:42.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 540     [pid] => 539     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Mike Murphy     [comment] => 

Thanks for the info. I'm pleased you got what you should have had as a right from the get go. I will definitely take your advice and read the book. My trial is upcoming after 4 years of trying to get at least shared custody but I have an ex who wants all her perceived entitlements and alienated the children in her efforts to get it - among many indiscretions. Actions like this Judge's should send a clear message to law makers that all is not well. Hopefully they are listening and will consult broadly with FR groups.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237495345 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0v.00.00/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 2 [new] => 0 )

What kind of a moron would criticize the only judge who has had the courage to stand up and expose the shortcomings of the justice system? As a father who was twice burned by the family court system, I read Tug of War with great interest. It is clear from the book and from the author's interviews on radio and TV, that this judge is the strongest judicial ally that fathers' rights goups have. His book and his comments during interviews validate and reinforce what fathers have been saying for years: that the justice system is the most inappropriate mechanism to determine parenting disputes. Whoever is writing the negative comments on this blog (and I'm convinced it's the same person), do yourself (and the rest of us fathers who actually have some intelligence) a favour and READ THE BOOK. Go post your idiotic comments on some other blog, and stop embarrassing the rest of us fathers who think that Justice Brownstone is the best spokesperson on the Bench that we've ever had. And by the way, I too have done my research and contacted numerous fathers' rights activists in Ontario that I trust (I live in Alberta), and they all confirmed that Brownstone's record for access enforcement in Toronto is by far the best of any judge in that city. So whoever you are, Mr. Idiot, cut it out and move on!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 05:43.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 537     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Who are these morons?     [comment] => 

What kind of a moron would criticize the only judge who has had the courage to stand up and expose the shortcomings of the justice system? As a father who was twice burned by the family court system, I read Tug of War with great interest. It is clear from the book and from the author's interviews on radio and TV, that this judge is the strongest judicial ally that fathers' rights goups have. His book and his comments during interviews validate and reinforce what fathers have been saying for years: that the justice system is the most inappropriate mechanism to determine parenting disputes. Whoever is writing the negative comments on this blog (and I'm convinced it's the same person), do yourself (and the rest of us fathers who actually have some intelligence) a favour and READ THE BOOK. Go post your idiotic comments on some other blog, and stop embarrassing the rest of us fathers who think that Justice Brownstone is the best spokesperson on the Bench that we've ever had. And by the way, I too have done my research and contacted numerous fathers' rights activists in Ontario that I trust (I live in Alberta), and they all confirmed that Brownstone's record for access enforcement in Toronto is by far the best of any judge in that city. So whoever you are, Mr. Idiot, cut it out and move on!

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237459394 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0u/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

Toronto Moron

(and I'm convinced it's the same person)

How interesting you would say that. But how little you really know. And how paranoid. Two of the critical posters on this 'blog' as you call it are family law lawyers. Several others are from at least three different provinces. Only one is from Alberta besides yourself. All of them have distinct and recent experiences wiith family law and two of those from Ontario have direct experience with the negative and biased legal decisions of Brownstone. One of them even has some of the proceedings on tape. I would perhaps suggest that the only Moron around here is you for being so easily fooled and for taking on allied status with a family law judge who, along with his colleagues does little else but destroy fathers like you and your friends. Why not start a Harvey Brownstone fan club? You would then be a supporter of a family law fascist and you would then become a neo-fascist supporter of the family law system. You might as well for all the good you are doing in battling the system. And so much for your own self pronounced intelligence

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-19 17:41.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 543     [pid] => 537     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Toronto Moron     [comment] => 

(and I'm convinced it's the same person)

How interesting you would say that. But how little you really know. And how paranoid. Two of the critical posters on this 'blog' as you call it are family law lawyers. Several others are from at least three different provinces. Only one is from Alberta besides yourself. All of them have distinct and recent experiences wiith family law and two of those from Ontario have direct experience with the negative and biased legal decisions of Brownstone. One of them even has some of the proceedings on tape. I would perhaps suggest that the only Moron around here is you for being so easily fooled and for taking on allied status with a family law judge who, along with his colleagues does little else but destroy fathers like you and your friends. Why not start a Harvey Brownstone fan club? You would then be a supporter of a family law fascist and you would then become a neo-fascist supporter of the family law system. You might as well for all the good you are doing in battling the system. And so much for your own self pronounced intelligence

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As a senior lawyer who specializes in representing alienating fathers, I feel compelled to weigh into this blog. In my experience, Justice Brownstone is "hard" only on fathers who don't pay their child support. But in custody and access matters, he is very very strong on fathers' rights. Whoever is out there claiming otherwise, doesn't know their facts. Ask any family law lawyer in Toronto which judge they'd prefer to have if they're bringing a contempt motion against a mother for denying access, and you will find out that Justice Brownstone would be top on their list. And as for a Harvey Brownstone fan club? There already is one: it's made up of the thousands of people who bought his book (and thereby made worthy donations to the Children's Wish Foundation). Isn't it strange that the people who criticize his judgment don't seem to have a problem with all of the cases where he imprisoned custodial parents (usually moms) for denying access, and all of the cases where he imposed severe sanctions against parental alienation. How come the fathers' rights activists don't criticize him for those decisions? Anyone criticizing Justice Brownstone simply doesn't have their facts straight.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 11:33.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 547     [pid] => 543     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => very selective     [comment] => 

As a senior lawyer who specializes in representing alienating fathers, I feel compelled to weigh into this blog. In my experience, Justice Brownstone is "hard" only on fathers who don't pay their child support. But in custody and access matters, he is very very strong on fathers' rights. Whoever is out there claiming otherwise, doesn't know their facts. Ask any family law lawyer in Toronto which judge they'd prefer to have if they're bringing a contempt motion against a mother for denying access, and you will find out that Justice Brownstone would be top on their list. And as for a Harvey Brownstone fan club? There already is one: it's made up of the thousands of people who bought his book (and thereby made worthy donations to the Children's Wish Foundation). Isn't it strange that the people who criticize his judgment don't seem to have a problem with all of the cases where he imprisoned custodial parents (usually moms) for denying access, and all of the cases where he imposed severe sanctions against parental alienation. How come the fathers' rights activists don't criticize him for those decisions? Anyone criticizing Justice Brownstone simply doesn't have their facts straight.

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Glenn Tyrrell

Law professionals who think that Fathers' rights activist are in favor of parents being thrown in jail, doesn't understand the fathers' right movement.

It is about equal parenting and maintaining a meaningful relationship with our children. We/I do not consider the Status quo of 2 weekends a month to be meaningful or in the so called "Best Interest of the Child".

If however, you can claim that he has made more equal parenting judgements or reversed custody for denying access than maybe Judge Brownstone is a rare breed in Canada. I'm not hearing that of Judge Brownstone?

Alienation is only allowed to happen because of the existing family law and the way the courts deal with child custody cases. Divide and make a bundle!

The answer is not throughing a parent in jail whether it be for access denial or that a parent can not afford the outragous guideline amounts based on gross income but having to pay on net income. The child losses on both counts!

What does he do throw the mother in jail and give her custody when she gets out?

When you go to jail for non-payment of child support, is the child support adjusted for the time your incarcerated and can't earn any income?

A truck driver has his drivers license suspend and then thrown in jail because he is not making support payments?

This is all insanity!

I don't know where Judge Brownstone lies but I haven't heard that he has done anything to put an end to this?

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 14:26.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 550     [pid] => 547     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Glenn Tyrrell     [comment] => 

Law professionals who think that Fathers' rights activist are in favor of parents being thrown in jail, doesn't understand the fathers' right movement.

It is about equal parenting and maintaining a meaningful relationship with our children. We/I do not consider the Status quo of 2 weekends a month to be meaningful or in the so called "Best Interest of the Child".

If however, you can claim that he has made more equal parenting judgements or reversed custody for denying access than maybe Judge Brownstone is a rare breed in Canada. I'm not hearing that of Judge Brownstone?

Alienation is only allowed to happen because of the existing family law and the way the courts deal with child custody cases. Divide and make a bundle!

The answer is not throughing a parent in jail whether it be for access denial or that a parent can not afford the outragous guideline amounts based on gross income but having to pay on net income. The child losses on both counts!

What does he do throw the mother in jail and give her custody when she gets out?

When you go to jail for non-payment of child support, is the child support adjusted for the time your incarcerated and can't earn any income?

A truck driver has his drivers license suspend and then thrown in jail because he is not making support payments?

This is all insanity!

I don't know where Judge Brownstone lies but I haven't heard that he has done anything to put an end to this?

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Justice Brownstone's book is a "How to" guidebook for chickens wishing to remain in their own henhouse while the foxes, and Brownstone chief fox among them decide "how to" devide up the spoils of their nest.

The man sees but doesn't hear,speaks but doesn't listen and then writes a book that can only be a proxy for how out of touch he and the legal industry have become from the intended principles of law.Judicial discretion indeed

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 20:55.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 534     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => be honest and act that way     [comment] => 

Justice Brownstone's book is a "How to" guidebook for chickens wishing to remain in their own henhouse while the foxes, and Brownstone chief fox among them decide "how to" devide up the spoils of their nest.

The man sees but doesn't hear,speaks but doesn't listen and then writes a book that can only be a proxy for how out of touch he and the legal industry have become from the intended principles of law.Judicial discretion indeed

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To all those who claim to know all about Justice Brownstone, let me tell you the facts. Check them out. Ask any court employee or person working in the family court system - yes, including lawyers. They actually know something about the judges they appear before. Here are the facts: Justice Brownstone has sent more mothers to jail for denying access, than ANY OTHER judge in Toronto. He is known to be very strong on access enforcement. Read his book! He makes his positions very clear! Yes, the justice system is imperfect. Yes, parents have been known to be manipulative and liars. That is true of fathers AND mothers. Stop blaming Justice Brownstone - he's a strong ally. Do your research and get your facts straight!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 15:51.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 532     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT     [comment] => 

To all those who claim to know all about Justice Brownstone, let me tell you the facts. Check them out. Ask any court employee or person working in the family court system - yes, including lawyers. They actually know something about the judges they appear before. Here are the facts: Justice Brownstone has sent more mothers to jail for denying access, than ANY OTHER judge in Toronto. He is known to be very strong on access enforcement. Read his book! He makes his positions very clear! Yes, the justice system is imperfect. Yes, parents have been known to be manipulative and liars. That is true of fathers AND mothers. Stop blaming Justice Brownstone - he's a strong ally. Do your research and get your facts straight!

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Glenn

After reading all these comments it became obvious to me, the following:

Those who praise Judge Brownstone:

Lawyers Women His public relations people

Those who don't praise Judge Brownstone:

Fathers who have possibly been before him. Someone who worked in the legal profession but not as a lawyer

I don't know the guy but the people who praise him, I find are skeptical in having any faith in their praises.

A mix between Dr. Phil and Judge Judy....G-d help us! This is an insult to anyone.

All I need to know is how many times, given the fact that he had a multitude of opportunity, did this judge order 50/50 equal parenting?

In my opinion all judges decisions including transcripts should be free to the public! It is already our property. Our tax dollars pay for it. Don't even get me started on the so called "Access to Justice Act".

After being before at least 10 separate judges in divisional and superior courts, if Judge Brownstone is a judge who defends the ambiguous vale of "best interest of the children" he is a defender of the corrupt system that has been allowed to flourish for far to long. As I said, I don't know him but, I am way beyond believing that because a family law lawyer or even the bar association praises a judges for his behaviour on the bench that he is one that is so deserving, quite to the contrary!

Ooh! Another lawyer referral web site! Just what we needed, the other hundred were just not enough.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 14:24.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 530     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Glenn     [comment] => 

After reading all these comments it became obvious to me, the following:

Those who praise Judge Brownstone:

Lawyers Women His public relations people

Those who don't praise Judge Brownstone:

Fathers who have possibly been before him. Someone who worked in the legal profession but not as a lawyer

I don't know the guy but the people who praise him, I find are skeptical in having any faith in their praises.

A mix between Dr. Phil and Judge Judy....G-d help us! This is an insult to anyone.

All I need to know is how many times, given the fact that he had a multitude of opportunity, did this judge order 50/50 equal parenting?

In my opinion all judges decisions including transcripts should be free to the public! It is already our property. Our tax dollars pay for it. Don't even get me started on the so called "Access to Justice Act".

After being before at least 10 separate judges in divisional and superior courts, if Judge Brownstone is a judge who defends the ambiguous vale of "best interest of the children" he is a defender of the corrupt system that has been allowed to flourish for far to long. As I said, I don't know him but, I am way beyond believing that because a family law lawyer or even the bar association praises a judges for his behaviour on the bench that he is one that is so deserving, quite to the contrary!

Ooh! Another lawyer referral web site! Just what we needed, the other hundred were just not enough.

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Oh, really! And men don't lie? Any parent, man or woman, can lie. This is not about gender. It's about CHILDREN'S BEST INTERESTS. READ THE BOOK!!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 15:48.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 531     [pid] => 530     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => you don't know what you're talking about     [comment] => 

Oh, really! And men don't lie? Any parent, man or woman, can lie. This is not about gender. It's about CHILDREN'S BEST INTERESTS. READ THE BOOK!!

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Realist

One poster writes: "I have appeared before him (Brownstone) hundreds of times...." "If you are a law clerk, you should know full well that the court makes decisions based on EVIDENCE..."

But then the poster is clearly a lawyer and despite his self righteous 'know-it-all' posteuring he has a vested interest in the game. He has nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain. That needs no further explanatory comment. After all the system represented by Brownstone provides the poster his literal bread and butter. Its highly probably that poster and Brownstone meet every year, along with others, at the court Christmas and mid year parties and exchange the usual 'u scratch-my-back' pleasantries. And maybe even more. We have yet to discover what that might be,

But the point about the "evidence" is the most telling. The poster knows deep down that in family court the "evidence" he talks about is almost always the lies and made-up and completely false incidents and situations presented to the court to make a man look as bad as possible. A Father going to court is forced to listen in a Canadin court of law as his character and worth is described by people like lawyer poster as nothing short of that of a bum. None of it is true but the courts and judges like Brownstone lap it up eagerly and use it it to tear a mans heart out and then claim they were acting on the "evidence".

Everyone has an excuse and the excuse is the lie. So Humbug to you Mr Lawyer poster. We have your measure and we hold you responsible for this too. I would trust a law clerk with the truth in court anyday before I trusted you. Evidence? Bah!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 13:52.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 529     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Realist     [comment] => 

One poster writes: "I have appeared before him (Brownstone) hundreds of times...." "If you are a law clerk, you should know full well that the court makes decisions based on EVIDENCE..."

But then the poster is clearly a lawyer and despite his self righteous 'know-it-all' posteuring he has a vested interest in the game. He has nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain. That needs no further explanatory comment. After all the system represented by Brownstone provides the poster his literal bread and butter. Its highly probably that poster and Brownstone meet every year, along with others, at the court Christmas and mid year parties and exchange the usual 'u scratch-my-back' pleasantries. And maybe even more. We have yet to discover what that might be,

But the point about the "evidence" is the most telling. The poster knows deep down that in family court the "evidence" he talks about is almost always the lies and made-up and completely false incidents and situations presented to the court to make a man look as bad as possible. A Father going to court is forced to listen in a Canadin court of law as his character and worth is described by people like lawyer poster as nothing short of that of a bum. None of it is true but the courts and judges like Brownstone lap it up eagerly and use it it to tear a mans heart out and then claim they were acting on the "evidence".

Everyone has an excuse and the excuse is the lie. So Humbug to you Mr Lawyer poster. We have your measure and we hold you responsible for this too. I would trust a law clerk with the truth in court anyday before I trusted you. Evidence? Bah!

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Corey

Having had the misfortune of appearing before Justice Brownstone as well as being a law clerk working in the family law arena, I have seen the picture from both sides.

Justice Brownstone is well known to be unpredictable and unfair, regularly making rulings that fail to be made with the spirit and intent of the legislation in mind.

Justice Brownstone has no respect for self represented litigants and frequently rules against those who are at a socio economic disadvantage.

It is Justice Brownstone's view that there is no excuse for not being able to afford the exorbiant legal fees charged by family law lawyers.

In fact, Justice Brownstone urges parents to bankrupt extended family members in order to pay their legal fees so that no one will appear in his court without a lawyer.

This quote of Justice Brownstone's is a personal favorite of mine "SIR, IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF YOU HAD A LAWYER"

Every one is entitled to equal treatment under the law, why would it be different if he had a lawyer then?

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 05:55.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 523     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Corey      [comment] => 

Having had the misfortune of appearing before Justice Brownstone as well as being a law clerk working in the family law arena, I have seen the picture from both sides.

Justice Brownstone is well known to be unpredictable and unfair, regularly making rulings that fail to be made with the spirit and intent of the legislation in mind.

Justice Brownstone has no respect for self represented litigants and frequently rules against those who are at a socio economic disadvantage.

It is Justice Brownstone's view that there is no excuse for not being able to afford the exorbiant legal fees charged by family law lawyers.

In fact, Justice Brownstone urges parents to bankrupt extended family members in order to pay their legal fees so that no one will appear in his court without a lawyer.

This quote of Justice Brownstone's is a personal favorite of mine "SIR, IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF YOU HAD A LAWYER"

Every one is entitled to equal treatment under the law, why would it be different if he had a lawyer then?

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Another Clerk

If you're a family law clerk (as I am) then you should be sharing the facts: Family Court is a body of individuals who help applicants and respondents - who do not have the required income to afford counsel - to work through the process. From the time a person opens a file to appearance(s) before a judge, assistance is available every step of the way: Counter staff provide initial guidance; lawyers are on hand (every day) to offer free legal advice; law students are available to assist with paperwork; a mediator is on staff to ease couples through difficulties. We understand that the process can be daunting and try our very best to make the unfortunate experience as uncomplicated as possible. But, we can only do so much. Applicants and respondents must participate in the process according to the law and if, after all the assistance we give them, they choose to ignore (as too many do) the procedures set before them, the judge will make decisions accordingly. What else can he or she do? And, yes, Justice Brownstone may have asked that question about it being different if the person appearing before him had a lawyer. He has a point. Perhaps a person can't afford $200 an hour for counsel, but what about a one-time payment for an initial consultation with a lawyer? You know, Corey, I can't speak for the judiciary, but I can say that when I see parties waltz into court wearing the most expensive bling, texting on their state-of-the-art blackberries, sporting designer clothes, shoes and accessories, flashing enough jewellery to support a third-world country and then hear them whining that they have no money, I absolutely cringe. Because as I sit wearing bargains from Payless and Winners, pathetic ring resting on my finger, clunky old cell phone silent in the court, I know without a doubt that if the welfare of my kids was in jeopardy, I would damned well scrape together enough money to consult a lawyer specializing in family law... at least once. And, after that, I would accept all the free help the system provides keeping in mind that it's my responsibility to listen, learn and carefully follow the rules so that I'm more than ready to appear before the judge.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-03-20 22:06.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 554     [pid] => 523     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Another Clerk     [comment] => 

If you're a family law clerk (as I am) then you should be sharing the facts: Family Court is a body of individuals who help applicants and respondents - who do not have the required income to afford counsel - to work through the process. From the time a person opens a file to appearance(s) before a judge, assistance is available every step of the way: Counter staff provide initial guidance; lawyers are on hand (every day) to offer free legal advice; law students are available to assist with paperwork; a mediator is on staff to ease couples through difficulties. We understand that the process can be daunting and try our very best to make the unfortunate experience as uncomplicated as possible. But, we can only do so much. Applicants and respondents must participate in the process according to the law and if, after all the assistance we give them, they choose to ignore (as too many do) the procedures set before them, the judge will make decisions accordingly. What else can he or she do? And, yes, Justice Brownstone may have asked that question about it being different if the person appearing before him had a lawyer. He has a point. Perhaps a person can't afford $200 an hour for counsel, but what about a one-time payment for an initial consultation with a lawyer? You know, Corey, I can't speak for the judiciary, but I can say that when I see parties waltz into court wearing the most expensive bling, texting on their state-of-the-art blackberries, sporting designer clothes, shoes and accessories, flashing enough jewellery to support a third-world country and then hear them whining that they have no money, I absolutely cringe. Because as I sit wearing bargains from Payless and Winners, pathetic ring resting on my finger, clunky old cell phone silent in the court, I know without a doubt that if the welfare of my kids was in jeopardy, I would damned well scrape together enough money to consult a lawyer specializing in family law... at least once. And, after that, I would accept all the free help the system provides keeping in mind that it's my responsibility to listen, learn and carefully follow the rules so that I'm more than ready to appear before the judge.

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That has never been my experience in Justice Brownstone's court. I have appeared before him hundreds of times. I have heard him (and every other judge) urge parents to retain legal counsel, and this is absolutely correct and proper advice to give. If you are a law clerk, you should know full well that the court makes decisions based on EVIDENCE, and the major reason people need lawyers is so they can obtain and present the necessary evidence to support their claim. That's why it's always better to have a lawyer. Bravo to Justice Brownstone for telling it like it is. As for you, Mr. Law Clerk, I suggest you go to law school.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 12:59.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 524     [pid] => 523     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Sorry, can't agree     [comment] => 

That has never been my experience in Justice Brownstone's court. I have appeared before him hundreds of times. I have heard him (and every other judge) urge parents to retain legal counsel, and this is absolutely correct and proper advice to give. If you are a law clerk, you should know full well that the court makes decisions based on EVIDENCE, and the major reason people need lawyers is so they can obtain and present the necessary evidence to support their claim. That's why it's always better to have a lawyer. Bravo to Justice Brownstone for telling it like it is. As for you, Mr. Law Clerk, I suggest you go to law school.

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Sorry, based on my personal experience, I have to disagree with you. I was convicted and sentenced in absence, without my knowledge about the proceedings three times in Family Kangaroo Court during 2 years period. Allegations against me were unsubstantiated, however, they were investigated by authorities and dismissed due to lack of evidence. Despite of that, original illegal sentence remained res judicata and I was forced to pay to see my children and access my property. After my little son was attacked by his mother, I photographed his bruised body and videotaped conversation with him during which he clearly identified his mother as the abuser. I took this evidence to the same Court and it was... dismissed. It is quite obvious that evidence has nothing to do with the outcome in the Family Kangaroo Court. Opportunity to extort money appears to be far more important than evidence. I've seen similar scenarios played out many times in the court. Crying, fatherless children are just collateral damage remaining afterward.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 23:42.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 536     [pid] => 524     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Convicted  - without evidence     [comment] => 

Sorry, based on my personal experience, I have to disagree with you. I was convicted and sentenced in absence, without my knowledge about the proceedings three times in Family Kangaroo Court during 2 years period. Allegations against me were unsubstantiated, however, they were investigated by authorities and dismissed due to lack of evidence. Despite of that, original illegal sentence remained res judicata and I was forced to pay to see my children and access my property. After my little son was attacked by his mother, I photographed his bruised body and videotaped conversation with him during which he clearly identified his mother as the abuser. I took this evidence to the same Court and it was... dismissed. It is quite obvious that evidence has nothing to do with the outcome in the Family Kangaroo Court. Opportunity to extort money appears to be far more important than evidence. I've seen similar scenarios played out many times in the court. Crying, fatherless children are just collateral damage remaining afterward.

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I am one of many hundreds of thousands fathers violated and abused in Canadian Family Court. Without any credible evidence of wrongdoing on my part and in the presence of witnessed, recorded and videotaped evidence of my ex-wife’s violent, irrational and destructive behavior my parental and property rights were violated by the court. My children and my property were wrenched away from me and I have been forced to pay to get back what is rightfully mine. I have been full time, stay at home father wiling and able to take care of my children any time, all the time. After I was accused, convicted and sentenced in my absence and without my knowledge about the court proceedings I was thrown out of my home and business. Court agent ordered me to pay unrealistic child support based on my business deposits during my best business years. The fact that I was living on the street and had no access to my business didn’t matter. As a result of the orders my house has been foreclosed by the bank and my children will be forced out of family home. I had to spend thousands of dollars just to be able to “visit” my children. The court is nothing else than extortion racket run by agents of the court for the agents of the court. The system must go as it is corrupted beyond repair. I have seen some of Brownstone's replies, in every one of them he's is suggesting to con$ult a lawyer$ which further proves the point I am making.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 02:31.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 522     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Convicted and sentenced in Family Court     [comment] => 

I am one of many hundreds of thousands fathers violated and abused in Canadian Family Court. Without any credible evidence of wrongdoing on my part and in the presence of witnessed, recorded and videotaped evidence of my ex-wife’s violent, irrational and destructive behavior my parental and property rights were violated by the court. My children and my property were wrenched away from me and I have been forced to pay to get back what is rightfully mine. I have been full time, stay at home father wiling and able to take care of my children any time, all the time. After I was accused, convicted and sentenced in my absence and without my knowledge about the court proceedings I was thrown out of my home and business. Court agent ordered me to pay unrealistic child support based on my business deposits during my best business years. The fact that I was living on the street and had no access to my business didn’t matter. As a result of the orders my house has been foreclosed by the bank and my children will be forced out of family home. I had to spend thousands of dollars just to be able to “visit” my children. The court is nothing else than extortion racket run by agents of the court for the agents of the court. The system must go as it is corrupted beyond repair. I have seen some of Brownstone's replies, in every one of them he's is suggesting to con$ult a lawyer$ which further proves the point I am making.

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Is this some kind of a sick joke? Brownstone is one of the most notoriously bad and despised family law judges in Ontario.

Ask any Fathers rights activist or child deprived and economically destroyed Dad who has had the misfortune to appear before him. He has a long history. The man is one of the most biased and most prolific Father-hating judges around. Where does all this hero worship come from? Any Southern Ontario-Toronto area Father in family court appearing before Brownstone might as well kiss his children and his property and his rights goodbye.

His ridiculously poor reputation virtually surfs before him. Don't be fooled by the book and all his claims and self promotion. The man is an enemy of Families and particular of Fathers. We all know that so where does all this adoration come from? Clearly none of these fawning and adoring friends of Brownstone have no knowledge of his court history. Here is one of Brownstomes more infamous quotes from one of his past court assaults:

"Children have all rights, and Parents have none. I have to see through the child’s eyes and decide what's best for him" Judge Harvey Brownstone 2007

Imagine that folks? Parents have no rights to the well being of their own children. A Family Court Judge is really in control of your kids. There it is in black and white. From the master himself. Don't be fooled by the propaganda.

The Family law system is hoelessly and disastrously ruinous for Families and Fathers in particular and Brownstone is one of the warriors making it so. I know Fathers who would like to see him locked away in jail for "crimes against the family". Wake up people. The man is not legal royalty. He is a legal prince of darkness if anything and making personal profit out of the ruins of the families he has destroyed. It most surely is abhorrent to me from what I know to see this man profiting from this book with most of the stories therein almost surely built on his abuse of law to alter the very face of the family and of fatherhood.

Instead of calling him a hero you should be clamouring for his arrest.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-17 22:58.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 521     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Ontario Activist     [comment] => 

Is this some kind of a sick joke? Brownstone is one of the most notoriously bad and despised family law judges in Ontario.

Ask any Fathers rights activist or child deprived and economically destroyed Dad who has had the misfortune to appear before him. He has a long history. The man is one of the most biased and most prolific Father-hating judges around. Where does all this hero worship come from? Any Southern Ontario-Toronto area Father in family court appearing before Brownstone might as well kiss his children and his property and his rights goodbye.

His ridiculously poor reputation virtually surfs before him. Don't be fooled by the book and all his claims and self promotion. The man is an enemy of Families and particular of Fathers. We all know that so where does all this adoration come from? Clearly none of these fawning and adoring friends of Brownstone have no knowledge of his court history. Here is one of Brownstomes more infamous quotes from one of his past court assaults:

"Children have all rights, and Parents have none. I have to see through the child’s eyes and decide what's best for him" Judge Harvey Brownstone 2007

Imagine that folks? Parents have no rights to the well being of their own children. A Family Court Judge is really in control of your kids. There it is in black and white. From the master himself. Don't be fooled by the propaganda.

The Family law system is hoelessly and disastrously ruinous for Families and Fathers in particular and Brownstone is one of the warriors making it so. I know Fathers who would like to see him locked away in jail for "crimes against the family". Wake up people. The man is not legal royalty. He is a legal prince of darkness if anything and making personal profit out of the ruins of the families he has destroyed. It most surely is abhorrent to me from what I know to see this man profiting from this book with most of the stories therein almost surely built on his abuse of law to alter the very face of the family and of fatherhood.

Instead of calling him a hero you should be clamouring for his arrest.

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Felix

As a long time advocate of father's rights, i take great exception to your comments about Justice Brownstone as they are both incorrect and ill informed.

Contrary to what you state, Judge Brownstone has been a vehement defender of Father's rights especially, when it comes to issues of access. I defy you to find a Family Court judge in the GTA who has a stronger record in ensuring that fathers are not unjustly denied access to their children by their former spouse.

Your other comments such as ("Kiss your property...goodbye") are also baseless as the Hon. Justice Brownstone is an Ontario Provincial Court judge and as such does not decide on issues dealing with division of property. So what are you talking about??!!

Justice Brownstone is absolutely correct in stating that a judges decisions should be foremostly based on the best interests of the child(ren). It is obvious that as soon as parents decide to resolve their issues in a court setting rather than as two rationale adults then they are willingly put the decision making power in the hands of a third party, namely a Family Court Judge. The learned Judge clearly states in his book "Tug of War" that this is what happens when parents opt to litigate in court rather than rationally resolve their issues in the best interests of the children. He also warns warring parents that the court this is often not the best forum for resolving family issues.

From your vitriolic comments it is clear that you either did not read and or comprehend the Hon. Judge Brownstone's book.

By the way Justice Brownstone's proceeds from the book sales are going to the Children's Wish Foundation and not to line his pockets as you shamefully and wrongfully assert

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 19:57.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 533     [pid] => 521     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Felix     [comment] => 

As a long time advocate of father's rights, i take great exception to your comments about Justice Brownstone as they are both incorrect and ill informed.

Contrary to what you state, Judge Brownstone has been a vehement defender of Father's rights especially, when it comes to issues of access. I defy you to find a Family Court judge in the GTA who has a stronger record in ensuring that fathers are not unjustly denied access to their children by their former spouse.

Your other comments such as ("Kiss your property...goodbye") are also baseless as the Hon. Justice Brownstone is an Ontario Provincial Court judge and as such does not decide on issues dealing with division of property. So what are you talking about??!!

Justice Brownstone is absolutely correct in stating that a judges decisions should be foremostly based on the best interests of the child(ren). It is obvious that as soon as parents decide to resolve their issues in a court setting rather than as two rationale adults then they are willingly put the decision making power in the hands of a third party, namely a Family Court Judge. The learned Judge clearly states in his book "Tug of War" that this is what happens when parents opt to litigate in court rather than rationally resolve their issues in the best interests of the children. He also warns warring parents that the court this is often not the best forum for resolving family issues.

From your vitriolic comments it is clear that you either did not read and or comprehend the Hon. Judge Brownstone's book.

By the way Justice Brownstone's proceeds from the book sales are going to the Children's Wish Foundation and not to line his pockets as you shamefully and wrongfully assert

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Right on!

Finally, someone really gets it! Good for you for telling it like it is! Justice Brownstone is known far and wide for vigorously protecting father's rights. He does not suffer fools gladly and has been praised repeatedly for his fearless and swift action against custodial parents (both men and women) who try to poison their children against the other parent. But really - this blog should not be about Justice Brownstone. If people don't like his decisions, they have two choices: settle their disputes out of court; or appeal his decisions. This blog is supposed to be about his BOOK, which is receiving universal praise far and wide, from fathers groups and mothers groups, and from child advocates everywhere, and deservedly so. To those who don't like Justice Brownstone, you have every right to your opinion - but it would be hard to disagree with what he has written in his book. Any parent who disagrees with the book does not deserve to have children.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 21:21.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 535     [pid] => 533     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Right on!     [comment] => 

Finally, someone really gets it! Good for you for telling it like it is! Justice Brownstone is known far and wide for vigorously protecting father's rights. He does not suffer fools gladly and has been praised repeatedly for his fearless and swift action against custodial parents (both men and women) who try to poison their children against the other parent. But really - this blog should not be about Justice Brownstone. If people don't like his decisions, they have two choices: settle their disputes out of court; or appeal his decisions. This blog is supposed to be about his BOOK, which is receiving universal praise far and wide, from fathers groups and mothers groups, and from child advocates everywhere, and deservedly so. To those who don't like Justice Brownstone, you have every right to your opinion - but it would be hard to disagree with what he has written in his book. Any parent who disagrees with the book does not deserve to have children.

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First of all, Justice Brownstone is not making one cent from the sale of this book. Read the back cover. Ask the publisher if you don't believe what you read. All of his royalties are going to the Children's Wish Foundation. Secondly, search the law reports. You will not find one appeal decision criticizing Justice Brownstone for any form of bias or one-sidedness against fathers or anyone else. He has one of the most respected judicial track records in Canada. Get your facts straight!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 13:06.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 525     [pid] => 521     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Get your facts straight     [comment] => 

First of all, Justice Brownstone is not making one cent from the sale of this book. Read the back cover. Ask the publisher if you don't believe what you read. All of his royalties are going to the Children's Wish Foundation. Secondly, search the law reports. You will not find one appeal decision criticizing Justice Brownstone for any form of bias or one-sidedness against fathers or anyone else. He has one of the most respected judicial track records in Canada. Get your facts straight!

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Glenn

I am sure you will be able to check most family law judges and find this to be the case!

It does not mean that it isn't occuring.

All it means is that it it controlled by those who are profiting on the system.

Let's have a jury of citizens decide on these matters and find out what is really going on? I would submit that the outcomes would be substantially different.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 13:32.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 528     [pid] => 525     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Glenn     [comment] => 

I am sure you will be able to check most family law judges and find this to be the case!

It does not mean that it isn't occuring.

All it means is that it it controlled by those who are profiting on the system.

Let's have a jury of citizens decide on these matters and find out what is really going on? I would submit that the outcomes would be substantially different.

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To those who've been criticizing Justice Brownstone: have you even read his book? It is the most balanced and child-focussed work ever written! Fathers rights activists have been praising it on their websites all over North America. Dudes, do your homework!!!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 13:16.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 527     [pid] => 525     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => the judge is right!     [comment] => 

To those who've been criticizing Justice Brownstone: have you even read his book? It is the most balanced and child-focussed work ever written! Fathers rights activists have been praising it on their websites all over North America. Dudes, do your homework!!!

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gb

All you fans of Brownstone need to understand something: the system is not fair. To appreciate the magnitude of the unfairness, consider that 80% of cost awards in family disputes in Ontario over the past 8 years have gone against fathers, which amounts to 86% in actual dollars. Costs are awarded to the winning party. A system that makes a person the loser 80% of the time because of his gender is not fair, and any judge or lawyer who thinks this situation represents fairness and defends it is deluded. The judges who enshrine the 80% failure rate for fathers seeking to be more than babysitters in their children's lives have no concept of what it means to be a father. It is a disgrace. I feel I can say that with some authority because I had to quit practicing family law (after investing 4 years of my life in school / articling, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition and loss of income) due to the sheer enormity of the problem. Speaking out against it is the kiss of death for any lawyer.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-17 22:16.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 520     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => gb     [comment] => 

All you fans of Brownstone need to understand something: the system is not fair. To appreciate the magnitude of the unfairness, consider that 80% of cost awards in family disputes in Ontario over the past 8 years have gone against fathers, which amounts to 86% in actual dollars. Costs are awarded to the winning party. A system that makes a person the loser 80% of the time because of his gender is not fair, and any judge or lawyer who thinks this situation represents fairness and defends it is deluded. The judges who enshrine the 80% failure rate for fathers seeking to be more than babysitters in their children's lives have no concept of what it means to be a father. It is a disgrace. I feel I can say that with some authority because I had to quit practicing family law (after investing 4 years of my life in school / articling, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition and loss of income) due to the sheer enormity of the problem. Speaking out against it is the kiss of death for any lawyer.

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Where do you get your stats from? Quote your sources! Costs are awarded against unsuccessful litigants based on legal principles, NOT the gender of the litigant.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-18 13:08.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 526     [pid] => 520     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Quote your sources!     [comment] => 

Where do you get your stats from? Quote your sources! Costs are awarded against unsuccessful litigants based on legal principles, NOT the gender of the litigant.

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Justice Brownstone has agreed to join the AdviceScene.com (http://advicescene.com/index.php) forum and help answer family law questions! Look for his answers and posts on the forum. I'm a huge fan of Justice Brownstone's too. I believe in the very same things, in fact I've started a website with the purpose of "democratizing the law." It's going to be interesting to see what kinds of questions Justice Brownstone answers on the forum. People really need this kind of site--and it's absolutely free! And we donate 5% of gross advertising revenues to societies providing free legal services! Everyone is welcome to register on the forum at: http://advicescene.com/canadian_legal_forum/index.php?action=regcenter;s... and edit their profile to include a photo and whatever else they want others to see. We also welcome lawyers to sign up on the forum and in our free lawyer directory (http://advicescene.com/lawyers/). Thanks everyone!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-17 16:40.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 519     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Nancy Kinney--AdviceScene.com     [comment] => 

Justice Brownstone has agreed to join the AdviceScene.com (http://advicescene.com/index.php) forum and help answer family law questions! Look for his answers and posts on the forum. I'm a huge fan of Justice Brownstone's too. I believe in the very same things, in fact I've started a website with the purpose of "democratizing the law." It's going to be interesting to see what kinds of questions Justice Brownstone answers on the forum. People really need this kind of site--and it's absolutely free! And we donate 5% of gross advertising revenues to societies providing free legal services! Everyone is welcome to register on the forum at: http://advicescene.com/canadian_legal_forum/index.php?action=regcenter;s... and edit their profile to include a photo and whatever else they want others to see. We also welcome lawyers to sign up on the forum and in our free lawyer directory (http://advicescene.com/lawyers/). Thanks everyone!

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237326051 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0l/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

I am one of the growing number of fans of Tug of War and Justice Brownstone. His book is the topic of conversation everywhere I go lately: at work, on radio and TV, and on the internet. I couldn't find the book at Chapters (even though I went to 4 diferent stores). Everywhere I went I was told that the book was sold out. I finally got it from amazon. Then I found a fan site on facebook. I am so happy to know that I'm not the only person whose life and heart have been so deeply touched by Tug of War. The Globe and Mail said it best: Judge Brownstone's message of maturity should be on every fridge in every kitchen in the country. Buying this book was the best $20 I have ever spent. It is worth much more, and the fact that the proceeds are going to the Children's Wish Foundation make it an even bigger pleasure to buy the book. I hope every parent reads this book. I couldn't put it down and can't stop telling people about it! Thanks to ECW Press for giving us a place to post our comments, and thanks to the person who created the fan site on Facebook.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-17 15:48.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 518     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Fan site on facebook     [comment] => 

I am one of the growing number of fans of Tug of War and Justice Brownstone. His book is the topic of conversation everywhere I go lately: at work, on radio and TV, and on the internet. I couldn't find the book at Chapters (even though I went to 4 diferent stores). Everywhere I went I was told that the book was sold out. I finally got it from amazon. Then I found a fan site on facebook. I am so happy to know that I'm not the only person whose life and heart have been so deeply touched by Tug of War. The Globe and Mail said it best: Judge Brownstone's message of maturity should be on every fridge in every kitchen in the country. Buying this book was the best $20 I have ever spent. It is worth much more, and the fact that the proceeds are going to the Children's Wish Foundation make it an even bigger pleasure to buy the book. I hope every parent reads this book. I couldn't put it down and can't stop telling people about it! Thanks to ECW Press for giving us a place to post our comments, and thanks to the person who created the fan site on Facebook.

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Canada AM

Caught Judge Brownstone on Canada AM this morning. So eloquent, warm and compassionate. Bravo to him for writing this book. I'm going to run out and buy it today. How often do we get to hear what a judge has to say? I hear it's a really good read.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-17 07:58.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 517     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Canada AM     [comment] => 

Caught Judge Brownstone on Canada AM this morning. So eloquent, warm and compassionate. Bravo to him for writing this book. I'm going to run out and buy it today. How often do we get to hear what a judge has to say? I hear it's a really good read.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237294691 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0j/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

So many accolades! I wish I could have gone before this judge six years ago when court dates were postponed by lawyers three or four times against my wishes. I know what it is to have my life dominated by a terrorist and he has been empowered to do this legally by our court system and lawyers. I have found the court to be the most discourteous and hostile environment I have encountered even to ask routine questions or get forms. I heard part of the CBC interview and am determined to read the book. But I wonder if judges generally have experience in dealing with narcissistic behaviours. Seven years after separation and tens thousands of dollars later, I have no separation agreement, no divorce and no annulment, which is contingent on a divorce. My marriage was fraudulent and based on deceit in that my spouse had already started a family about whom I had no knowledge. Even if I were willing to go along with the status quo, he said he was never ever going to tell me, which means he wanted to take the deceit to the grave (grounds for a civil annulment, I think) . His offspring, whom he had abandoned for 30 years, chose his lawyer, described as "a friend" to litigate against me and siblings. Now she even rewards him for leaving his family with overseas trips. At the time of separation he was having two simultaneous affairs, one for 22 years, of which I was unaware, which included financial support (tax-free for the recipient). My spouse has 26 jobs in 34 years and under equalization rules, thinks he is entitled to half my pension and support. By the way, over the past few years he has been submitting his prescription receipts for reimbursement under my health plan, including those for his viagra. Throughout the marriage I supported all my kids' extracurricular activities and thankfully they all have post secondary educations, which I also supported financially. Our last child completed his masters recently to which his father contributed not even the cost of one viagra prescription; not one penny. Last year I applied for and got a date for a Case Conference, to which his lawyer never responded. The court gave me alternative dates to which I again got no response. I then looked for a mediator and my spouse attended the four suggestions and agreed to take the Memorandum of Understanding to his lawyer. That was six months ago. He is parading a new "partner" in front of the children while still refusing to move on the divorce for which he filed six years ago. I have a huge debt load because of this. I also have a life-threatening auto-immune condition, the onset of which co-incidentally manifested itself soon after the appearance of the abandoned child who, in spite of my acceptance and wish to integrate her into our family, instead, she herself being a lawyer, united with her father against us and secured a lawyer "friend" in seeking a divorce from me. From the point of her appearance, my husband's unfaithfulness and ongoing deceit over the course of 34 years began to be uncovered by me. I have been on LTD for a while now and because of my condition will be forced to retire. As a result of the mediation we came to an agreement. Unfortunately, he has not followed up six months later, so until he does this there is no hope of my getting a divorce for which he filed. What a system! Judge Brownestone gives hope.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Mon, 2009-03-16 11:07.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 511     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => So many accolades! I wish I     [comment] => 

So many accolades! I wish I could have gone before this judge six years ago when court dates were postponed by lawyers three or four times against my wishes. I know what it is to have my life dominated by a terrorist and he has been empowered to do this legally by our court system and lawyers. I have found the court to be the most discourteous and hostile environment I have encountered even to ask routine questions or get forms. I heard part of the CBC interview and am determined to read the book. But I wonder if judges generally have experience in dealing with narcissistic behaviours. Seven years after separation and tens thousands of dollars later, I have no separation agreement, no divorce and no annulment, which is contingent on a divorce. My marriage was fraudulent and based on deceit in that my spouse had already started a family about whom I had no knowledge. Even if I were willing to go along with the status quo, he said he was never ever going to tell me, which means he wanted to take the deceit to the grave (grounds for a civil annulment, I think) . His offspring, whom he had abandoned for 30 years, chose his lawyer, described as "a friend" to litigate against me and siblings. Now she even rewards him for leaving his family with overseas trips. At the time of separation he was having two simultaneous affairs, one for 22 years, of which I was unaware, which included financial support (tax-free for the recipient). My spouse has 26 jobs in 34 years and under equalization rules, thinks he is entitled to half my pension and support. By the way, over the past few years he has been submitting his prescription receipts for reimbursement under my health plan, including those for his viagra. Throughout the marriage I supported all my kids' extracurricular activities and thankfully they all have post secondary educations, which I also supported financially. Our last child completed his masters recently to which his father contributed not even the cost of one viagra prescription; not one penny. Last year I applied for and got a date for a Case Conference, to which his lawyer never responded. The court gave me alternative dates to which I again got no response. I then looked for a mediator and my spouse attended the four suggestions and agreed to take the Memorandum of Understanding to his lawyer. That was six months ago. He is parading a new "partner" in front of the children while still refusing to move on the divorce for which he filed six years ago. I have a huge debt load because of this. I also have a life-threatening auto-immune condition, the onset of which co-incidentally manifested itself soon after the appearance of the abandoned child who, in spite of my acceptance and wish to integrate her into our family, instead, she herself being a lawyer, united with her father against us and secured a lawyer "friend" in seeking a divorce from me. From the point of her appearance, my husband's unfaithfulness and ongoing deceit over the course of 34 years began to be uncovered by me. I have been on LTD for a while now and because of my condition will be forced to retire. As a result of the mediation we came to an agreement. Unfortunately, he has not followed up six months later, so until he does this there is no hope of my getting a divorce for which he filed. What a system! Judge Brownestone gives hope.

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What a life you've lived! I can't wait to read YOUR book - AND see the movie version! Justice Brownstone's book has obviously touched a major chord out there, because everyone is talking about it - and about him. His radio and TV interviews are musts. He augments what he says in his book, and truly does give reassurance and hope to despairing parents. Can we get the judge his own TV show?

Submitted by ECW Guest on Mon, 2009-03-16 11:54.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 512     [pid] => 511     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => you tuckered me out just reading that!     [comment] => 

What a life you've lived! I can't wait to read YOUR book - AND see the movie version! Justice Brownstone's book has obviously touched a major chord out there, because everyone is talking about it - and about him. His radio and TV interviews are musts. He augments what he says in his book, and truly does give reassurance and hope to despairing parents. Can we get the judge his own TV show?

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AJG

I am a young adult who has a huge passion for the legal system and will studying courts in part with my college studies. I am definitley intrigued seeing a sitting Ontario judge appear in the media so much and in fact write a book about what NOT to do in court. I have yet to get a copy but definitley will. From what I hear it's a page turner. Definitley thinking the 200 page book will in fact be too short!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sun, 2009-03-15 22:20.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 509     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => AJG     [comment] => 

I am a young adult who has a huge passion for the legal system and will studying courts in part with my college studies. I am definitley intrigued seeing a sitting Ontario judge appear in the media so much and in fact write a book about what NOT to do in court. I have yet to get a copy but definitley will. From what I hear it's a page turner. Definitley thinking the 200 page book will in fact be too short!

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I am glad that there are young people out there who are interested in pursuing a career in the justice system. As a senior litigation lawyer, I believe that Justice Brownstone's book should be required reading for every law student, whether or not they plan to pursue a career in family law. This is the most illuminating glimpse of the justice system ever written in Canada, and the fact that it was written by one of Toronto's most respected and admired judges makes it a must-read!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Mon, 2009-03-16 09:39.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 510     [pid] => 509     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Every law student shoud read this book     [comment] => 

I am glad that there are young people out there who are interested in pursuing a career in the justice system. As a senior litigation lawyer, I believe that Justice Brownstone's book should be required reading for every law student, whether or not they plan to pursue a career in family law. This is the most illuminating glimpse of the justice system ever written in Canada, and the fact that it was written by one of Toronto's most respected and admired judges makes it a must-read!

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I want to reply to the person who wrote on March 12 that judges micromanage trivial issues by giving bickering parents a platform to fight. Whoever wrote that does NOT know Justice Brownstone! I am a lawyer who has appeared in his court hundreds of times. I can assure you that Justice Brownstone NEVER allows parents to fuel their own egos and power struggles by allowing them to make mountains out of mole hills. Justice Brownstone does not suffer fools gladly, and cuts right to the heart of the matter, bringing closure to disputes in an expeditious and fair manner. Parents who come to his court seeking to perpetuate their relationships by picking silly battles with each other get a clear and unequivocal message from Justice Brownstone: grow up and stop acting like children! He is one of the most decisive and efficient judges I've ever had the pleasure of appearing before. If you've read his book, you should be able to sense that this is a man of common sense and practicality who puts children first, not their egotistical and immature parents.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sun, 2009-03-15 17:52.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 507     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => You don't know Justice Brownstone!     [comment] => 

I want to reply to the person who wrote on March 12 that judges micromanage trivial issues by giving bickering parents a platform to fight. Whoever wrote that does NOT know Justice Brownstone! I am a lawyer who has appeared in his court hundreds of times. I can assure you that Justice Brownstone NEVER allows parents to fuel their own egos and power struggles by allowing them to make mountains out of mole hills. Justice Brownstone does not suffer fools gladly, and cuts right to the heart of the matter, bringing closure to disputes in an expeditious and fair manner. Parents who come to his court seeking to perpetuate their relationships by picking silly battles with each other get a clear and unequivocal message from Justice Brownstone: grow up and stop acting like children! He is one of the most decisive and efficient judges I've ever had the pleasure of appearing before. If you've read his book, you should be able to sense that this is a man of common sense and practicality who puts children first, not their egotistical and immature parents.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237157526 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0g/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

I am happy there is a website where readers of Tug of War, and fans of Justice Brownstone, can post our comments. Thank you to ECW Press for this. I watched Justice Brownstone on CHCH TV last night and was captivated. His book is good, but HE is actually better. When he speaks, he projects an authenticity and passion that jumps right out of the TV screen and grabs the viewer by the heart. I was so impressed that I set my VCR to record the re-play at 11:30pm, so I can show all my friends and family who missed it. This man is Canada's Judge Judy and Dr. Phil. How do we get more of him on TV?

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sat, 2009-03-14 13:33.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 505     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Give us more Judge Brownstone     [comment] => 

I am happy there is a website where readers of Tug of War, and fans of Justice Brownstone, can post our comments. Thank you to ECW Press for this. I watched Justice Brownstone on CHCH TV last night and was captivated. His book is good, but HE is actually better. When he speaks, he projects an authenticity and passion that jumps right out of the TV screen and grabs the viewer by the heart. I was so impressed that I set my VCR to record the re-play at 11:30pm, so I can show all my friends and family who missed it. This man is Canada's Judge Judy and Dr. Phil. How do we get more of him on TV?

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1237055589 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0f/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

gb

Unfortunately, the honourable judge does not seem to lay any of the blame for the current state of affairs on judges themselves. He complains about parents who fight over Halloween and Christmas, but the only reason they do it is because judges entertain these arguments and try to micromanage every disagreement. If judges simply said, "OK, whoever did not have it last year gets it this year, and so on into the future. Costs are awarded against whoever foolishly initiated this application. Next case!" the nonsense would stop *instantly*.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-12 14:10.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 501     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => gb     [comment] => 

Unfortunately, the honourable judge does not seem to lay any of the blame for the current state of affairs on judges themselves. He complains about parents who fight over Halloween and Christmas, but the only reason they do it is because judges entertain these arguments and try to micromanage every disagreement. If judges simply said, "OK, whoever did not have it last year gets it this year, and so on into the future. Costs are awarded against whoever foolishly initiated this application. Next case!" the nonsense would stop *instantly*.

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As a member of the Toronto legal profession who has argued countless cases in Justice Brownstone's court for over 10 years, let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. He and most (but not all) of his colleagues do NOT give parents platforms to fight over trivial and silly issues. The family courts are too overloaded with serious cases, and judges have a very good ability to distinguish between serious, important disputes and petty, stupid game playing by immature parents. Justice Brownstone is a brilliant, compassionate and fair judge who has an instinctive ability to reach people with his plain no-nonsense approach - and anyone thinking they're going to pull the wool over his eyes will have a rude awakening! He brings a swift and shattering end to disputes in a way that gives parents clear direction for how to resolve similar disagreements in the future. I only wish that every judge could manage cases the way he does; if they did, there would be no backlogs in any court!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sun, 2009-03-15 17:57.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 508     [pid] => 501     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => you don't know this judge!     [comment] => 

As a member of the Toronto legal profession who has argued countless cases in Justice Brownstone's court for over 10 years, let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. He and most (but not all) of his colleagues do NOT give parents platforms to fight over trivial and silly issues. The family courts are too overloaded with serious cases, and judges have a very good ability to distinguish between serious, important disputes and petty, stupid game playing by immature parents. Justice Brownstone is a brilliant, compassionate and fair judge who has an instinctive ability to reach people with his plain no-nonsense approach - and anyone thinking they're going to pull the wool over his eyes will have a rude awakening! He brings a swift and shattering end to disputes in a way that gives parents clear direction for how to resolve similar disagreements in the future. I only wish that every judge could manage cases the way he does; if they did, there would be no backlogs in any court!

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CBC

Just listened to Justice Brownstone on CBC this morning. I was in tears by the end of it. He moved me so much when he spoke about the Children's Wish Foundation that I went online and gave them a donation. I will also buy multiple copies of the book and give them out to every parent I know as Christmas presents. Anyone who missed Justice Brownstone's CBC interview should go on the CBC website and listen to it. It was one of the most riveting and emotionally powerful interviews I've ever heard. Kudos to this judge for taking a stand and writing this book. And kudos to the media for embracing it as they have. This book should be required reading for every parent, separated or not.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-11 15:09.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 498     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => CBC     [comment] => 

Just listened to Justice Brownstone on CBC this morning. I was in tears by the end of it. He moved me so much when he spoke about the Children's Wish Foundation that I went online and gave them a donation. I will also buy multiple copies of the book and give them out to every parent I know as Christmas presents. Anyone who missed Justice Brownstone's CBC interview should go on the CBC website and listen to it. It was one of the most riveting and emotionally powerful interviews I've ever heard. Kudos to this judge for taking a stand and writing this book. And kudos to the media for embracing it as they have. This book should be required reading for every parent, separated or not.

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1236802147 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 0d/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

In the same way that the mentally ill and those individuals challenged with addiction/alcoholism are thrust into the revolving litigious court system, families experiencing family restructuring are vulnerable to a consumer driven court and mediation processes led by an elite class.

The judges and lawyers drive the corrosion of our social fabric, all for money.

Many families experience restructuring when addiction, mental illness and selfishness drive the reasons for one parent wanting to remove and control the other in the life of their children. The key is education for all citizens as to what truly constitutes healthy child development and this can only be learned many years before the stresses that come with raising children.

Health and social supports provide a much better resolution process than money hungry, often dysfunctional professionals who ply their living off the backs of others. Self regulation of these groups by no means offer protection to the public.

It's time we to stop telling all those lawyers jokes and look at healthy family restructuring options where the children are truly supported with healthy parents and extended family, devoid of money extraction processes by antiquated systems that obviously have not worked in the past. This means having institutional structures which are not self-regulated and operate to drive the economy.

As social engineering takes place to build equality among men, women and children there needs to be the realization that there are better resolution and support processes which need not necessarily be driven by the elite court processes where lawyers and judges, as well as the psychological industry, can and do abuse positions of trust through a knowledge base.

Education of all citizens is the key, and this education need not come from the judicial and mediation processes where triple bottom line is unheard of even today.

It's time for more of the truth from parents like Pamela Richardson who wrote 'A Kidnapped Mind'. Sadly, the average parent does not have the resource base from which this parent could draw from in order to expose the real injustices far too many families are subjected to in this day and age.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-11 11:39.

I am newly separated. My husband left me and our three children, to continue an affair he's been having with a co-worker. My children and I are devastated. My first appointment with a lawyer was yesterday, and he gave me Judge Brownstone's book. He said it was the most important book I would ever read, and that he didn't want to discuss anything regarding custody or access until I finished the book. I stayed up all night reading Tug of War. I literally couldn't put it down! My husband has a lawyer too, and my lawyer knows her. She has agreed to give my husband a copy of Tug of War to read. I am going to use this book as a blueprint for developing a parenting plan for my children, and hope my husband will do the same. This really is an incredibly powerful book, and I intend to read it again from time to time as needed, to give me strength and help me keep my focus. I recommend this book highly, for any separated parent. Actually, I think every parent should read it, separated or not. I haven't had the chance to see Judge Brownstone on TV but did hear him on the radio, and he was very impressive. I hope he writes more books. And although I don't live in Toronto, I hope my judge is just like him.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Tue, 2009-03-10 08:33.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 495     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => My lawyer gave me the book     [comment] => 

I am newly separated. My husband left me and our three children, to continue an affair he's been having with a co-worker. My children and I are devastated. My first appointment with a lawyer was yesterday, and he gave me Judge Brownstone's book. He said it was the most important book I would ever read, and that he didn't want to discuss anything regarding custody or access until I finished the book. I stayed up all night reading Tug of War. I literally couldn't put it down! My husband has a lawyer too, and my lawyer knows her. She has agreed to give my husband a copy of Tug of War to read. I am going to use this book as a blueprint for developing a parenting plan for my children, and hope my husband will do the same. This really is an incredibly powerful book, and I intend to read it again from time to time as needed, to give me strength and help me keep my focus. I recommend this book highly, for any separated parent. Actually, I think every parent should read it, separated or not. I haven't had the chance to see Judge Brownstone on TV but did hear him on the radio, and he was very impressive. I hope he writes more books. And although I don't live in Toronto, I hope my judge is just like him.

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I have to agree with the others who have posted comments on this site. I happen to live in Toronto, and was so smitten with Justice Brownstone's TV appearances that I actually went to the North Toronto Family Court and spent two hours watching him work his magic in the courtroom. He is amazing! He made people laugh, he made people cry - he spoke from the heart, exuding such warmth and wisdom that the entire courtroom seemed awestruck! Every couple that came before him started off bitter and angry, and by the time he was finished with them, they seemed transformed somehow - not best friends, and maybe not friends at all, but at least civil. And every lawyer I spoke to in the hall said the same thing: this man is a genius whose very unique judicial style consistently works miracles! He's an angel walking among us. I wish we could see him on TV more often - I find he has an almost healing presence about him. I've actually read his book twice because it resonates with me on such a deep level. He writes as if he's hearing verbatim instructions from every child ever caught in a parental "tug of war". As one such child, who is now in her 40's, I found his book healing and in a strange sort of way, actually redemptive.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sat, 2009-03-07 15:52.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 492     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => He's a certifiable star!     [comment] => 

I have to agree with the others who have posted comments on this site. I happen to live in Toronto, and was so smitten with Justice Brownstone's TV appearances that I actually went to the North Toronto Family Court and spent two hours watching him work his magic in the courtroom. He is amazing! He made people laugh, he made people cry - he spoke from the heart, exuding such warmth and wisdom that the entire courtroom seemed awestruck! Every couple that came before him started off bitter and angry, and by the time he was finished with them, they seemed transformed somehow - not best friends, and maybe not friends at all, but at least civil. And every lawyer I spoke to in the hall said the same thing: this man is a genius whose very unique judicial style consistently works miracles! He's an angel walking among us. I wish we could see him on TV more often - I find he has an almost healing presence about him. I've actually read his book twice because it resonates with me on such a deep level. He writes as if he's hearing verbatim instructions from every child ever caught in a parental "tug of war". As one such child, who is now in her 40's, I found his book healing and in a strange sort of way, actually redemptive.

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I am so grateful for "Tug of War" by Justice Brownstone. Finally, there is book that tells it like it is, in understandable terms, from an inside perspective. Anyone who's been on the inside of a divorce preceding knows this book is true to the core. I've also been watching Justice Brownstone on T.V. (seeing him a lot lately). He is captivating. I never knew a Judge could be so real, so honest and so engaging. I agree with the some of the other writers, he SHOULD have his own TV show. I'm a fan already!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-03-05 18:20.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 491     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Grateful & Captivated     [comment] => 

I am so grateful for "Tug of War" by Justice Brownstone. Finally, there is book that tells it like it is, in understandable terms, from an inside perspective. Anyone who's been on the inside of a divorce preceding knows this book is true to the core. I've also been watching Justice Brownstone on T.V. (seeing him a lot lately). He is captivating. I never knew a Judge could be so real, so honest and so engaging. I agree with the some of the other writers, he SHOULD have his own TV show. I'm a fan already!

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I watched Judge Brownstone on Lorne Honickman's show, Legal Briefs. He was captivating. I couldn't get enough of what he had to say. They shouldn't have allowed people to call in with so many stupid questions, because it took time away from the judge, and this was such a rare opportunity to hear from him without having to go to court. I think he should have his own TV show! He spoke from the heart, and when he smiled, the TV screen literally lit up! What a judge he must be - but I wouldn't want to run up against him in court. I have a feeling he wouldn't put up with any nonsense!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Wed, 2009-03-04 19:16.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 489     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Judge Brownstone on CP24 Legal Briefs     [comment] => 

I watched Judge Brownstone on Lorne Honickman's show, Legal Briefs. He was captivating. I couldn't get enough of what he had to say. They shouldn't have allowed people to call in with so many stupid questions, because it took time away from the judge, and this was such a rare opportunity to hear from him without having to go to court. I think he should have his own TV show! He spoke from the heart, and when he smiled, the TV screen literally lit up! What a judge he must be - but I wouldn't want to run up against him in court. I have a feeling he wouldn't put up with any nonsense!

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Mike

I just listened to Justice Brownstone on Newstalk 650 Radio in Saskatoon. The insight he shared has inspired me to buy his book!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Mon, 2009-03-02 13:31.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 484     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => Mike     [comment] => 

I just listened to Justice Brownstone on Newstalk 650 Radio in Saskatoon. The insight he shared has inspired me to buy his book!

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I'm a fan

OK. I read the previous posts about this guy and thought, "who are these people, who are saying such wildly positive things about a judge?". Then I watched his interview with Christine Williams on CTS yesterday, and I became a fan! This guy is Dr. Phil and Judge Judy all rolled into one!! He totally blew away the interviewer, and handled difficult questions (some from call-in viewers) with wit, super-smarts and common sense. I liked his book, but I like the judge even more. If you EVER get the chance to see this guy on TV, don't miss it. He's the real deal. Thank you to ECW for discovering a new star!! Give us more Judge Brownstones in the world!!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Sat, 2009-02-28 06:46.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 481     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => I'm a fan      [comment] => 

OK. I read the previous posts about this guy and thought, "who are these people, who are saying such wildly positive things about a judge?". Then I watched his interview with Christine Williams on CTS yesterday, and I became a fan! This guy is Dr. Phil and Judge Judy all rolled into one!! He totally blew away the interviewer, and handled difficult questions (some from call-in viewers) with wit, super-smarts and common sense. I liked his book, but I like the judge even more. If you EVER get the chance to see this guy on TV, don't miss it. He's the real deal. Thank you to ECW for discovering a new star!! Give us more Judge Brownstones in the world!!

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I have never been in this judge's courtroom, or any courtroom for that matter. But after seeing him on TV, I felt compelled to buy his book. There's something special, even magical, about this man. He has a way of putting things into perspective. Every phrase he utters seems to go directly into my heart. He doesn't come across like any judge I have ever heard of - he's the real deal. You can just feel it. I raced out and bought the book, and I could hear his voice all the way through it. Reading this book is like having a private conversation with the author. His writing style is compelling and accessible and dynamic. This judge should have his own TV show. I can't get enough of him!

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-02-26 22:33.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 477     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => This judge is special     [comment] => 

I have never been in this judge's courtroom, or any courtroom for that matter. But after seeing him on TV, I felt compelled to buy his book. There's something special, even magical, about this man. He has a way of putting things into perspective. Every phrase he utters seems to go directly into my heart. He doesn't come across like any judge I have ever heard of - he's the real deal. You can just feel it. I raced out and bought the book, and I could hear his voice all the way through it. Reading this book is like having a private conversation with the author. His writing style is compelling and accessible and dynamic. This judge should have his own TV show. I can't get enough of him!

[format] => 1 [timestamp] => 1235705610 [name] => [mail] => [homepage] => [uid] => 0 [registered_name] => [picture] => [data] => [score] => 0 [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;} [thread] => 05/ [status] => 0 [depth] => 0 [new] => 0 )

I appeared in Justice Brownstone's court several years ago regarding a hotly contested custody case. The case had been in front of 3 other judges who were unable to make any progress, and by the time we got in front of Judge Brownstone I was completely disillusioned with the court system and very cynical about judges. This man was amazing. He sees through all the crap and forces people to focus on what matters: the children. He made us laugh, he made us cry, he pulled out all the stops in a virtuoso performance that was at times gut-wrenching. We settled our case, went to counselling, and are successfully co-parenting our children. We pray for that man every day. As far as I am concerned, he walks on water, and I intend to buy ANYTHING that he writes.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Thu, 2009-02-26 16:31.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 476     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => I've seen this judge in action     [comment] => 

I appeared in Justice Brownstone's court several years ago regarding a hotly contested custody case. The case had been in front of 3 other judges who were unable to make any progress, and by the time we got in front of Judge Brownstone I was completely disillusioned with the court system and very cynical about judges. This man was amazing. He sees through all the crap and forces people to focus on what matters: the children. He made us laugh, he made us cry, he pulled out all the stops in a virtuoso performance that was at times gut-wrenching. We settled our case, went to counselling, and are successfully co-parenting our children. We pray for that man every day. As far as I am concerned, he walks on water, and I intend to buy ANYTHING that he writes.

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I was the first poster here and have now read this book - WOW is it worth a read.

My situation would have ended up in court anyway since the other party was consistently irrational, but Justice Brownstone's opening paragraph resonated with me because it dealt with my biggest anxiety about being in court. Friends always asked why I was always so anxious about court when all the facts supported my "side"..... it was because I was standing before a STRANGER who had limited time to make a decision and could not possibly know the hell I had gone through in the time prior to appearing in court.

I already have a list of people that I will have to lend this book to would recommend it to anyone who is even thinking about separation or already down that path.

Submitted by ECW Guest on Mon, 2009-02-23 10:14.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 471     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => I was the first poster here     [comment] => 

I was the first poster here and have now read this book - WOW is it worth a read.

My situation would have ended up in court anyway since the other party was consistently irrational, but Justice Brownstone's opening paragraph resonated with me because it dealt with my biggest anxiety about being in court. Friends always asked why I was always so anxious about court when all the facts supported my "side"..... it was because I was standing before a STRANGER who had limited time to make a decision and could not possibly know the hell I had gone through in the time prior to appearing in court.

I already have a list of people that I will have to lend this book to would recommend it to anyone who is even thinking about separation or already down that path.

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DP

Judge Brownstone is currently presiding over our case. I am not the parent, but the grandparent. Doesn't make a difference though, the process is long and painful for anyone involved in access or custody issues. I hope he made some mention of extended family members (in his book)who are affected by these unfortunate scenarios. And, yes, as he said on Breakfast Television this morning, in most cases it isn't even about the children............. I will pick up a copy of his book, because he is a wise man. Sometimes, it is hard to see where he is going with things, but by the time you leave the courtroom, it makes perfect sense. DP

Submitted by ECW Guest on Fri, 2009-02-20 18:12.
stdClass Object (     [cid] => 468     [pid] => 0     [nid] => 4251     [subject] => DP     [comment] => 

Judge Brownstone is currently presiding over our case. I am not the parent, but the grandparent. Doesn't make a difference though, the process is long and painful for anyone involved in access or custody issues. I hope he made some mention of extended family members (in his book)who are affected by these unfortunate scenarios. And, yes, as he said on Breakfast Television this morning, in most cases it isn't even about the children............. I will pick up a copy of his book, because he is a wise man. Sometimes, it is hard to see where he is going with things, but by the time you leave the courtroom, it makes perfect sense. DP

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AT

I have not yet read this book but was struck when I saw Justice Brownstone on BT Television as I was once one of the parents sitting before him while he presided over our case. He is a fair and extremely observant man who saw through all the anger and dealt with the important issue - the child at hand. I spent many years in family courtrooms dealing with what are private issues and know the heartache it brings. I applaud Justice Brownstone for writing this book

2 comments:

MarbleHost said...

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