I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Parental Alienation Syndrome symposium topic

You have a great deal of insight to this kind of child abuse and I admire your strength of will to keep your ex from being vilified. My ex doesn't understand to this day despite 4 years of trying to educate her that it is unacceptable behaviour and child abuse. My children's emotional problems and inability of my youngest to handle relationships is symptomatic of what Parental Alienation can do. Thank you for writing about it in an objective manner. Most gender feminists do not believe the problem even exists which I find to be beyond credulous and into the realm where ideology rules not common sense.MJM

Brantford Expositer

Posted By KIMBERLEE TAPLAY

Posted 1 hour ago

"Parents are handing life's scripts to their children, scripts that in all likelihood will be acted out for the rest of the children's lives." Stephen R. Covey

Looking back, there are things that I thought about saying and doing during my separation and divorce that I'm glad I didn't. 'Hell hath no fury' they say, and it might be true, but not half as true as 'Hell is when you are desperately trying to take the high road while you'd rather run someone over as they travel on the lower one'.

Leaving the map of my journey to single parenthood aside, I can honestly say that I almost always managed to 'steer clear' of involving my children in the more adult issues of my divorce.

Yes, the girls and I talked about the divorce, but I always tried to guide the discussion towards my plans for our future, their new home and school, and about how I would do my very best to make sure that they got to see their father as often as possible.

As much as I often thought about it, I never took them into my confidence or discussed adult matters or tell them things that were better left unsaid. The girls were five and 10 at the time, and I respected the fact that they were only children.

I have seen bitter and ugly, oh so ugly, divorces. I have watched children cringe as one parent spoke about the other parent in derogatory terms and in a disrespectful manner.

I have seen extended family members become involved and let their distaste and anger cause them to lose their sense of judgement around children of the dissolving marriage. There's nasty... and then there's really nasty. I'm glad that I never went down that road.

Well, maybe once. Sort of. But not really. It was during the first year the girls and I were on our own, and I remember the utter shame and despair I felt the moment I let the words escape as my anger and frustration got the better of me in front of six year-old Avery; I still tear up when I think about it. I don't think I will ever forget the 'It's okay, Mommy," and the hug that she gave me as I gathered her in my arms and wept in her embrace.

I remember whispering a quiet "I'm sorry... Mommy really didn't mean what she just said. Mommy is tired and sad and I love you very much," as she loosened my grip, cupped my face in her hands and kissed my nose.

I am pretty sure that if you were to ask her, she wouldn't even remember that snowy day in December. And I'm just as certain that I will never forget it.

Was I angry at my ex? Oh yeah. Did I feel hurt and betrayed? You betcha. But I can't imagine being so consumed by those feelings that I would do whatever I could to poison the girls against their father over and over again.

I suppose that's why I'm so interested in the event taking place March 27,28 and 29 when Toronto is the host city for the first annual conference on the topic of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). It will be taking place at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, and 20 of the world's foremost experts in parental alienation compile the list of guest speakers.

This educational conference is targeting Canadian, as well as international mental health professionals, family law attorneys and other professionals dedicated to the prevention and treatment of Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. Parents whose children suffer from this mental health condition are also invited to attend.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is what happens when a parent attempts to turn a child's love into hate against the other parent. It's not a matter of poor parenting; it's a crime against a child.

According to a January 2009 article from Canadian Business online, Parental Alienation is "....child abuse and we need to approach these parents as abusers," says Joe Goldberg, host and founder of the symposium.

"This conference is an opportunity for parents and professionals to acquire intervention and treatment solutions and to help modify the way the courts protect the best interest of children."

The speakers at the three-day symposium are leaders in the field of psychology, family law, children's services, law enforcement and supervised visitation. Attendees will include 1,500 attorneys, mediators, court-appointed parenting coordinators, psychologists, psychiatrists, school psychologists, child abuse investigators, and various law enforcement officials from Canada and the United States of America.

The speakers attending this symposium are the most respected medical and legal experts ever assembled to attend a single event on the subject of Parental Alienation Syndrome, and many are looking for support in their fight against PAS and for their efforts to introduce new family law legislation.

From this single parent's perspective, Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome are topics that must be discussed, explored and addressed as society changes, separation and divorce continue to occur, and children are faced with the very real threat of being caught in the crossfire between angry or hurting parents.

Our children are our future, and protecting them is a wise investment. As B. C. Forbes once said: "Upon our children -- how they are taught -- rests the fate -- or fortune -- of tomorrow's world."

And he ought to know... Bertie Charles Forbes (May 14, 1880 - May 6, 1954) was the Scottish financial journalist and author who founded Forbes Magazine. Wise investment, indeed!

For more information about the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome March 27, 28 and 29 in Toronto, visit www.cspas.ca

Kimberlee Taplay is a single mom of two girls and someone who is far more experienced with an Alien Nation (aka Living with Teens) than with alienation. You can reach Kimberlee at

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