I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Philadelphia Daily News ~ Fatimah Ali: 'Deadbeat Dads' an insult to reality

TV producers will do anything for ratings it appears even exploit the vulnerability of children's self esteem by having to watch a bounty hunter track down so called "deadbeat dads." What impact will it have on a child in their home, or when confronted by their peers in school or the playground if they or a friend sees 50% of their genetic heritage abused by the system in the guise of entertainment. The victim feminists will cheer this on as they have only their own personal grievances with their arch enemy, the patriarchy, (that's you and me if you are a man) and they really don't give a damn about the impact on children. Its one of the reasons why they don't believe parental alienation is emotional abuse. They practice it but remain in denial and a certain amount of narcissism is involved in their thinking process. This has a range from mild to obsessive. Study after study shows the vast number of fathers don't pay all of the child support because they can't afford it. Child support is actually a combination of support for the child and the mother in disguise. The victim feminists have convinced the gullible bureaucrats and feminized acolytes involved in setting up these tables it is a requirement for the well being of children when in fact, as usual, it is 1:) Something they believe is an entitlement based on the notion motherhood trumps everything and 2) They are victims of a patriarchy and cannot get ahead because of that. Most of this is BS but it's hard to change the thinking that is so ingrained with the parallel notion of "Apple Pie" in American discourse. Unfortunately this powerful and wrong headed approach to families spreads outside its borders with lots of copy cats ready to take up the banner of victim hood. It sells well. Other studies show these entitlements along with others serve as an inducement for women to divorce and lead to poor social outcomes, increase the rates of divorce and contribute to poverty. Poverty is a leading indicator for further social problems of our children. The social engineering by judges, who don't have a clue about the damage they have caused for two generations through their feminized approach to custody and marginalizing fathers, is evident across, not only this nation, but most western democracies and has spread to south Asian countries like India. I would invite all reasonable families to boycott Lifetime TV. After reading the Philadelphia article read the following one from the Cleveland Plain Dealer that clearly shows the route victim feminism takes and it's impacts. No doubt the dad was given the restraining order because of false allegations. No doubt the judge will say she is a good mother but needs more child support. Finally the last article is an example of child support bureaucracy zealots gone mad, also in Pennsylvania. It's a very sorry state of affairs when this kind of corruption evolves.MJM

JUST WHEN I thought TV couldn't sink any lower with some of its toxic programming, yet another new reality show is poised to hit the lineup - "Deadbeat Dads" on Lifetime.

The show targets fathers who refuse to pay child support, and features businessman Jim Durham's collection agency, called National Child Support.

My first "primal thought" was darn, they got here 15 years too late to help me. But my more spiritually evolved side knows better, and I realize those evil thoughts are just wrong. Durham and the Lifetime producers who created the show are the ones who should be flogged - for using the woes of single mothers and their children to boost ratings.

Unfortunately, my evil twin rears her ugly head from time to time, and recaps the unpleasant memories of what it was like not getting child support from my ex-husband. When I was a single mother, he accrued more than $150,000 in unpaid court-ordered child support, which kept me in a tizzy for years.

He made enough money, yet he neglected his obligations because he was angry at me, not because he didn't love our kids.

Despite the fact that I worked two jobs, my children and I were always struggling without his contribution. But I was a wimp and never petitioned the courts to issue an arrest warrant for his blatant disregard of our children's needs. His sudden demise made the judge's order moot. It can be almost impossible to collect back support from a dead man with a tangled-up life.

While he was still alive, the reasons I didn't want him imprisoned were simple, as well as selfish. I didn't want to have to take our children to visit him in jail because I knew it would be traumatic. But mostly I realized that having him arrested would prevent him from working and put yet another stigma on our already challenged life.

Two decades later, I still feel just as strongly that throwing deadbeat parents in jail is a stupid idea. And it definitely shouldn't be televised. This only causes. more problems in a child's life. The residual effects that deadbeat parents have on kids are way deeper than the unpaid money and leave deep psychological scars.

While researching the effects absentee fathers have on their offspring, I came across a publication called "The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man, the Annual Public Costs of Father Absence." Written by professors Stephen Nock and Christopher Einolf, of the University of Virginia and St. Paul University, respectively, their research shows that fatherless households cost U.S. taxpayers $98.9 billion a year. But this is just the tip of the iceberg of the many problems that female-headed households face.

Their findings also show that children of single parents are more likely to do poorly in school and drop out of college and are at greater risk of being incarcerated or on drugs than children who have both parents in the home.

Just a year ago, President Obama caught flak for telling black fathers to take more responsibility for their children during a speech at a Chicago church. With Father's Day just around the corner, I anticipate that his message this year will have a much wider reach than just for African-Americans.

The issue of absentee fathers isn't just a black problem, it's now an American one. And it touches nearly every community and crosses all racial and socio-economic barriers. I also think many women must share some of the blame for deciding that we can go it alone. Ladies, we've screwed up royally and our children are suffering because of it.

Feminists will probably jump all over me, but here's the real deal.

Many of us joined the women's movement decades ago without looking ahead to see what repercussions our actions would have on both our families and the economy. Now, most of us have to work, which leaves our husbands and children angry because no one is at home tending the hearth.

Our choice to be independent of men financially and of the family structure creates a wide range of problems in our children. And many men feel displaced and angry now because women are competing with them at work.

Far too many women are willing to go it alone and risk poverty and instability for shallow reasons of "self-empowerment" rather than trying to work out their marital challenges. Families need both parents in the household - not just economically but also spiritually and morally.

The whole idea of a "Deadbeat Dads" show is ludicrous. The creators are using the program to exploit what is really a much larger social problem - America's broken families. *

Fatimah Ali is a journalist, media consultant and an associate member of the Daily News editorial board.

Cleveland mother arrested after leaving 2-year-old home alone by Mark Puente/Plain Dealer Reporter
Wednesday May 20, 2009, 11:22 AM

Updated at 8:12 p.m.

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- A Cleveland mother faces child-endangering charges after police said she left her 2-year-old home alone hooked up to an empty feeding tube.

Valencia Davis, 28, left her daughter alone Tuesday afternoon with a tube running from her stomach to an empty plastic bag hanging on a wall in an East 84th Street house, according to a police report. The girl suffers from a brain condition and cerebral palsy, Davis told police.

The toddler's father called police after he visited the house to check on her. The man, who also is the father of one of the woman's two other children, told police he was barred from the home by a temporary protection order but feared for the safety of the children and went inside. Officers found the 2-year-old unresponsive, with dried mucus on her face, and living in filthy conditions, the report said. Police called an ambulance.

Before paramedics arrived, Davis returned home with the two other children and screamed at the man for having called police. Davis told police she was the real victim and that it was not wrong to leave the 2-year-old alone, according to the report.

Officers searched the house and did not find any food, except for cereal strewn on the floor.

The 2-year-old was in stable condition Wednesday at Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital.

Davis was in City Jail and could not be reached for comment.

Man files suit after ID error put him in jail

Patriot-News, Central PA
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BY PETE SHELLEM pshellem@patriot-news.com

A Philadelphia man who was thrown in the Dauphin County Prison four times for failing to pay support for someone else's child has filed a federal lawsuit.

In his suit, Walter Andre Sharpe charges that officials tampered with his personal information to make him appear to be the father.

The lawsuit filed in U.S. Middle District Court comes on the heels of Dauphin County District Attorney Edward M. Marsico Jr.'s announcement that no criminal charges would be filed in the case. Sharpe's attorney, Spero T. Lappas, said the lawsuit might change his outlook.

"Maybe after he reviews the information we assembled during our investigation of the lawsuit, he might want to reconsider his position," Lappas said.

The lawsuit says domestic relations officials in Montgomery County changed Sharpe's name in their computer system because he at one time used his mother's maiden name. Changes were also made in Dauphin County's systems and in a statewide computer network in 1999.

The changes in the system forced Walter Sharpe to pay $12,000 in support for another man's child and landed him in the Dauphin County Prison four times for not keeping up with the payments.

The problems began when Sharpe signed for a certified letter in 2001 addressed to Andre Sharpe, the real father. Walter Sharpe ignored the letter, thinking it was a mistake.

A county judge ruled Walter Sharpe was the father and the Domestic Relations office ordered him to pay $447 a month support, along with $5,730 in back payments.

The suit says employees of Dauphin County Domestic Relations changed his information and fought his attempts to prove he was not the father.

It took The Patriot-News less than a hour to find the real father, who said he had custody of the child.

The agency has declined to comment on the case. Officials from Montgomery County Domestic Relations have not returned phone calls.

The suit seeks unspecified damages for civil rights violations.

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