I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

ACFC ~ Fathers Day Update

Dear Mike,

As Fathers Day approaches we wanted to follow up on several items of interest. Florida International University professor Gordon Finley sent this news item: FIU Lab Investigates the State of Fatherhood. Gordon is a great friend of fathers, his research and commentary are influencing public policy throughout the nation. Click here for FIU Lab Investigates the State of Fatherhood.

For additional reference information on Dr. Finley's studies and articles visit his faculty page at:http://psych.fiu.edu/Faculty&StaffPages2/Finley/Finley.htm.

Fathers Day Rallies

Illinois Fathers are sponsoring a rally this Friday at the State Capitol in Springfield. If you are anywhere in the area come by and demonstrate your support for Fathers, Shared Parenting and Family Law Reform. Illinois Fathers is doing a tremendous job supporting fathers in court, cultivating legislator relationships and raising issue awareness. http://www.illinoisfathers.com/

Fathers for Justice is sponsoring fatherless day rallies in a number of state capitols Click here for the flyer, contact one of the listed coordinators and find out what's going on in your area.

Adam Cunningham Update Thanks to all of you who participated in the April 29, call to action on Adam Cunningham's DV case in Canada. The video link to the news report is no longer active. Adam received numerous injuries and subsequently died after surgery to repair a broken ankle. Thanks to ACFC supporter, Ron Spiller and others for sending this response from assistant attorney general, Robert Gillen.

Dear Mr. Spiller:

Thank you for your correspondence dated April 29, 2009, regarding the death of Mr. Adam Cunningham. I am responding on behalf of the Attorney General, and I apologize for the delay.

As Assistant Deputy Attorney General, I am responsible for the Criminal Justice Branch within the Ministry of Attorney General, including the conduct and supervision of all criminal prosecutions in British Columbia.

Charges of assault with a weapon and assault causing bodily harm have been laid against Ms. Elhan Cunningham. Ms. Cunningham is due to appear in court in July 2009, for an arraignment hearing.

It has not been determined that the injuries Mr. Cunningham sustained in the assault led to his death.

I cannot comment any further as this matter is now before the Court.

The public’s participation in the justice system is important. I appreciate hearing your views. Yours truly,

Robert W. G. Gillen Assistant Deputy Attorney General Criminal Justice Branch

Child Support and the Passing of John Cole

Two years ago this August in conjunction with the Family Preservation Festival in Washington DC, ACFC hosted an event at the National Press Club promoting Angelo Lobo's documentary Support: System Down. One member of the panel was John Cole who relayed his Virginia child support experience.

John's battle with cancer ended last week with his passing on June 11th. As you watch his video note the fact that even though John and his ex had reached an agreement over his support the state would not honor their agreement and continued to hound John, now literally to death....

John's story is preceded by comments of another Shared Parenting warrior who past last year minister Ron Smith. Thanks to William Wagener for posting this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRCfN700gaI

Whether or not you will be with your children this Fathers Day, know that we at ACFC appreciate you, your participation and support in the effort to implement shared parenting and reform family law.

Sincerely,

Mike McCormick, Exec. Dir.

A girl's first hero

Happy Fathers Day to all Dads especially those who cannot see their children.MJM

How dads inspire and support a daughter's development

By JOANNE RICHARD

16th June 2009,

http://www.torontosun.com/life/2009/06/16/9809501-sun.html

Hey, dads, what you sow now, your daughters will reap later.

How a woman feels about herself as a woman goes back to how dad treated his little girl, report experts.

"Behind every great woman, you will find her dad" -- that's if he was an engaged, present, involved dad, says Dr. Mary Jo Rapini.

"If dads are able to admire their daughters achievements, character and interests and not their looks, the daughter will grow up to be confident and self assured. She will choose men who treat her with the same admiration and respect as her dad did," adds Rapini, a psychotherapist and author.

According to Rapini, a dad has so much power over his daughter.

"If he gives her gifts and focuses on her looks he will raise a girl who is more materialistic and thinks love and affection comes in a gift box.

"If he praises her looks all of the time, he will raise someone who loathes herself and is constantly checking to make sure she looks OK in a mirror -- we do that enough anyway.

"If he focuses on her abilities and interests he will develop a daughter who is more self assured, confident and understands leadership."

Studies show that dads give girls 90% of their self-esteem before the age of 12, she says. "What this means is that girls that grow up without a dad in the home, or one who abandoned them, are always going to be a little bit less confident and sure of themselves than peers who grow up with a dad in the home."

According to Rapini, an involved, engaged dad will be viewed as the first man she ever loved, and someone who loves her unconditionally. "Unlike mom -- who many daughters have emotional fights with -- dads don't get into all of the drama and are more accepting of them.

"Dads also have a way of redirecting a girl when she is being overly emotional. He can make her laugh and help her see the situation is not as bad as it appears. The daughter looks at dad as the type of man she wants to someday marry," adds Rapini, co-author of Start Talking: A Girls Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever.

Dads need to be sure not to pull away from daughters during the teenage years, adds Dr. Venus Nicolino. "Many fathers feel uncomfortable with transformation from tween to teen -- she's no longer daddy's little girl.

"A father needs to be there, emotionally available at all times but especially when he feels himself wanting to pull away during her teenage years. An emotionally available father can be the stabilizing force for a young woman. The little voice inside her that says, 'I love you no matter what', " says Nicolino, a relationship expert.

She adds that the best thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother so that she will witness what to expect from the men in her life, and what she should not have to put up with. "Having a father who loves her mother makes her more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love her."

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Do

Dr. Mary Jo Rapini suggests these five dosfor dads to positively impact his daughters:

- Focus on your daughter's talents and make note of them.

- Focus on times you see her being respectful, confident, compassionate and compliment her.

- Help her/guide her in creating her vision, dreams and interests.

- Tell her she can be or do anything she puts her mind to.

- Talk less, do more with her, listen to her.

Don't

- Be controlling and tell her you will decide what is best for her.

- Tell her she is pretty and say it all the time so she becomes focused on being pretty.

- Tell her she is getting chubby. Really, if you focus on their body you will create a girl with lots of issues and she may never get over them.

- Fight with her mom and be disrespectful to her in front of your daughter.

- Tell her she is not very smart -- "if you do this, I promise she will fulfil it."

Dr. Mary Jo Rapini

Maurice Vellacott, MP Saskatoon-Wanuskewin Media Advisory Equal Shared Parenting PMB # C-422 Introduced

Maurice Vellacott, MP had the opportunity to present a one-minute Member’s Statement (SO31) in the House of Commons today at 2:10pm, shortly before Question Period. The following is what he said. Also note the Media Advisory below:
Unfortunately many Canadian families experience the break-up of a marriage. When this happens, the results can be devastating for children. Children are caught in the middle but should not be used as a weapon or alienated from one of the parents.
Aside from proven abuse or neglect, Canadians want Equal Shared Parenting to be the presumption in our courts when marriages break up because it's in the best interests of children and because it's part of an enlightened Equality Agenda.
A recent poll, I commissioned, conducted by Nanos Research shows that 78% of Canadians support Equal Shared Parenting, with a high of 86% support in Quebec.
More women than men support Equal Shared Parenting at 78.3%.
And among supporters of major political parties, about 78% of Conservatives support Equal Shared Parenting. 75.8% of New Democrats were supporters. 80.6% of Liberals supported Equal Shared Parenting. And 83% of Bloc supporters endorsed Equal Shared Parenting.
An Equal Shared Parenting Private Member's Bill was introduced in Parliament today. I urge you to support it and expedite its passage through Parliament.
Maurice Vellacott, MP Saskatoon-Wanuskewin
Media Advisory
Equal Shared Parenting Private Member’s Bill Introduced
Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009; 1 pm
From: Maurice Vellacott, MP (Saskatoon-Wanuskewin)
To: Media
Re. Press conference to announce Equal Shared Parenting Private Member’s Bill
Where: Charles Lynch Press Conference Room 130-S
Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff has written, “These groups demanded that the ‘custody and access’ regime created by the Divorce Act of 1985 be replaced with a ‘shared parent’ regime in which both parents are given equal rights to bring up their children. These are sensible and overdue suggestions, and the fact they are being made shows that men and women are struggling to correct the rights revolution, so that equality works for everyone.”
MP Maurice Vellacott (Saskatoon-Wanuskewin) will be speaking on the introduction Tuesday of Private Member’s Bill C-422, which would direct courts in regard to divorce, to make equal shared parenting the presumptive arrangement in the best interests of the child, except in proven cases of abuse or neglect.
Vellacott will be joined by Quebec MP Stephen Blaney, Liberal MP Raymonde Folco, John Menear, Barrister & Solicitor and Founding Member of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council and by Kristin Titus, Co-President of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council.
Polling from the past two years demonstrates overwhelming support from Canadians for equal shared parenting. There is slightly more support among women than men for equal parenting. This strong support from almost 80% of Canadians exists across the country, with the strongest regional support coming from Quebec and Atlantic Canada. Canadians claiming to be Liberal and Bloc supporters, expressed the strongest endorsement for equal shared parenting, at 80.6% among Liberals and 82.9% among Bloc Quebecois supporters.
Countries, such as Denmark, Belgium and Norway, as well as some U.S. states, have implemented equal parenting, joint custody or shared parenting presumptive legislation, resulting in lower court costs, less conflict and improved social outcomes for the children of divorce.
– 30 –
For further comment, call (613) 992-1966 or (613) 297-2249
Maurice Vellacott, MP Saskatoon-Wanuskewin
Avis aux médias
Dépôt d’un projet de loi d’initiative parlementaire sur le partage égal du rôle parental
Date : Mercredi, 17 juin 2009, 13 h
De : Maurice Vellacott, député de Saskatoon-Wanuskewin
À : Médias
Objet : Conférence de presse pour annoncer le projet de loi d’initiative parlementairesur le partage égal du rôle parental
Endroit : Salle de conférence de presse Charles Lynch (130-S)
Le chef libéral Michael Ignatieff a écrit que : « Ces groupes ont demandé que le régime des droits de garde et de visite créé par la Loi sur le divorce en 1985 soit remplacé par un régime de partage du rôle parental dans le cadre duquel les deux parents ont tout autant le droit d’élever leurs enfants. Il s’agit de suggestions judicieuses dont la mise en œuvre a trop tardé; leur formulation témoigne de ce que les hommes et les femmes luttent pour corriger la révolution des droits et faire en sorte d’obtenir l’égalité pour tous. »
Maurice Vellacott, député de Saskatoon-Wanuskewin, prendra la parole mardi lors du dépôt du projet de loi d’initiative parlementaire C‑422, qui exigera que les tribunaux, dans les causes de divorce, appliquent systématiquement le principe de partage égal du rôle parental dans l’intérêt de l’enfant, sauf dans les cas avérés de mauvais traitements et de négligence.
À M. Vellacott s’ajouteront le député de Québec Stephen Blaney, la député de Libéral Raymonde Folco, John Menear, avocat et membre fondateur du Conseil canadien pour le rôle parental égal, et Kristin Titus, co-présidente du Conseil canadien pour le rôle parental égal.
Les sondages des deux dernières années confirment que la population canadienne appuie massivement l’égalité du rôle parental, l’appui étant légèrement plus élevé chez les femmes que chez les hommes. Près de 80 % des Canadiens d’un bout à l’autre du pays soutiennent l’idée, l’appui le plus vif se manifestant au Québec et dans les provinces de l’Atlantique. Les plus fervents partisans se réclament du Parti libéral et du Bloc québécois, soit 80,6 % chez les partisans libéraux et 82,9 % chez les partisans bloquistes.
Des pays comme le Danemark, la Belgique et la Norvège, ainsi que certains États des États-Unis, ont mis en œuvre des dispositions législatives privilégiant le rôle parental égal, la garde partagée ou le partage du rôle parental, ce qui a permis de diminuer les frais judiciaires, de réduire les conflits et d’améliorer le sort des enfants du divorce sur le plan social.
– 30 –
Information : (613) 992-1966 ou (613) 297-2249

Maurice Vellacott Bill # C-422 ~ Intro Statement – Equal Shared Parenting ~ June 16, 2009


Mr. Maurice Vellacott introduced a Private Member’s Bill this morning that would require a presumption of equal parenting. This is a BILL, not a MOTION. It’s # is C-422. Don’t refer to it as M-483 if contacting others such as politicians or media about this bill because M-483 as an equal parenting measure was terminated with the last election call, as most of you already know, so nobody will know what you are talking about if you refer to it incorrectly. Mr. Vellacott’s introductory statement in introducing this bill this morning was as follows (Check Against Delivery):


Intro Statement
Mr. Speaker, I am honoured to be introducing a Private Member’s Bill today which would direct courts in regard to divorce, to make equal shared parenting the presumptive arrangement in the best interests of the child, except in proven cases of abuse or neglect. 

Over 10 years ago, a Joint House-Senate committee presented to Parliament a report entitled “For the Sake of the Children.” That report urged Parliament to amend the Divorce Act to make equal shared parenting the normative determination by courts dealing with situations of divorce involving children. This non-partisan recommendation from that Joint House-Senate was based on compelling research made available to the committee members. Over the past ten years, the best research has continued to demonstrate the far superior outcomes for children, in general, when both parents – mom AND dad – are actively involved in their children's lives, even if the parents divorce or separate. 

Polling from the past two years demonstrates overwhelming support from Canadians for equal shared parenting. There is, in fact, slightly more support among women than men for equal parenting. This strong support from almost 80% of Canadians exists across the country, with the strongest regional support coming from Quebec and Atlantic Canada.

Canadians claiming to be Liberal and Bloc supporters, expressed the strongest endorsement for equal shared parenting, at 80.6% among Liberals and 82.9% among Bloc Quebecois supporters.

A variety of countries, such as Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Australia, and various U.S. states, have implemented equal parenting, joint custody or shared parenting presumptive legislation, which has resulted in lowered court costs, less conflict and improved social outcomes for the children of divorce.

This bill is one of the most a-political, non-partisan pieces of legislation introduced in this current Parliament. I look forward to strong support for this important piece of legislation from all Members of Parliament who are committed to the best interests of our Canadian children.