I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Shared Parenting bill from Canadian Senator Anne Cools?


Four in ten Canadian marriages end in divorce, and many of those breakups are not amicable - especially when children are involved. Things can get even more messy if parents aren't able to settle their own differences, and can't agree on the issue of custody. In those cases, it's up to a judge to decide an arrangement based on "the best interests of the child." And in Canada, that typically has meant awarding one parent with primary care.

The latest data from the Department of Justice shows mothers received sole custody in 77 percent of cases, and father in only 9 percent of the cases.  (Note from M. Murphy" To be verified as this is different than Stats Can info, but latter is older)

After making dozens of trips to the Alberta Law Courts for a variety of issues relating to the custody of his two children, Russ McNeill believes the current system isn't working.

"I don't think the judicial system treated me fairly. I don't think it treats any man fairly. I think it's designed to put everybody into a cookie cutter that basically says dads get every second weekend and a mid-week visit," he says.

In addition to draining him and his ex-wife emotionally, McNeill says the system pits the parents against each other.

"I don't see that actually stopping the conflict. If anything it increases the conflict because the other parent feels they're being removed from their children unjustly and they're very angry so they will look harder to find anything possible to find fault with the other parent," McNeill adds.

He would like to see the current model be changed to adopt more of a shared parenting arrangement.
"Go to mediation. Stay away from lawyers."

Dr. Edward Kruk, an associate professor of social work, has been studying the family court system and the effects sole custody decisions have on parents.

"We have kind of a indeterminate or shall we say a discretionary best interest of the child standard where judges are just guided by their own idiosyncratic biases and sort of subjective views of what's best for a child," Dr. Kruk says.

He says what's needed is an approach that still focuses on the best interest of the child, but from the perspective of the child.

"And children are telling us clearly that their best interests are served by equal time with each parent."

Dr. Kruk argues that a parent should not be separated from a child unless there's a proven history of violence.

Senator Anne Cools, who has spent decades studying the psychological effects of separating a child from a parent, is also an advocate of shared parenting.

In 1998, she was a member of a special joint committee that looked at issues of parental custody and access to children. The committee's principal recommendation was that shared parenting should be presumed in family court - a recommendation which has not been accepted by successive governments.

But Senator Cools is not giving up her fight, and is currently working on a bill that would have a regime of shared parenting.

"I want balance and equilibrium and fairness because those children haven an entitlement to meaningful involvement and continuing involvement with each and both of their parents," she says.

Until that happens, McNeill has a piece of advice for other parents who are going through a divorce: "Go to mediation. Stay away from lawyers."
With files from Slav Kornik, Global News

This is part of a two-part series. On Sunday in the second part, we will look at the emotional and psychological effects on parents and children when separated.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Go to mediation. Stay away from lawyers." I am on the same path. I'm sorry but mediation is not for everyone, should not be pushed. I believe it should be suggested but not pushed. I tried relentlessly first with therapists, then the mediation route. After thousands of dollars, both councilling & mediation got me know where. I communicated and tried to mediate, but if the other parent is not willing to communicate or cooperate, it's a complete waste of valuable time and MONEY!! I WANT my ex to be the parent she is. I want my child to have a mother. I don't want to go through courts, but if she is unwilling to grant me my parental right to be a father then it leaves me know choice. You see, I am enthusiastically running TOO my responsibility, not AWAY from. What don't the courts get? =(

Anonymous said...

I like the articles here.To me they are balanced and informative.
Often women are unreasonable and demanding and want control.In that case...no amount of mediation works.Which is sad,as the real victim is always the child.The Ideal situation is where adults act like adults and put the child's needs before their own feelings.Since it does not always happen....they end up going to court and wasting their money.Courts do not make right decisions in most of the cases,but people trust Judges to come to right decisions.Often that is not the case.Either way...the Article is right...solve your issues out of Court...if at all Possible.Dont waste your money.Make some sort of peace for the sake of the child.He/she needs to know/see both parents.Stop fighting.The child deserves peace !