I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

DSM-5 and Parental Alienation:


Dr. William Bernet's sleuthing in DSM-5 (see more detail below) has unearthed several areas that relate directly to PA as a form of child abuse. The impact on children is terrible and as Dr. Amy Baker found in her research and book, life lasting.

Not to be lost as well is the psychological condition of a parent who would use a child as a pawn in their own insecure world. A parent who would do this is suffering an illness as no sane person would deliberately brainwash a child into hating 50% of their DNA.

He describes the following:

"Factitious disorder imposed on another is the DSM-5 terminology for factitious disorder by proxy or Munchausen disorder by proxy. Its definition is "falsification of physical or psychological signs or symptoms, or induction of injury or disease, in another, associated with identified deception." 

In some cases, that would describe the behavior of the alienating parent. Delusional symptoms in partner of individual with delusional disorder is the DSM-5 terminology for shared psychotic disorder or folie a deux. 

The definition is: "In the context of a relationship, the delusional  material from the dominant partner provides content for delusional  belief by the individual who may not otherwise entirely meet criteria  for delusional disorder."


Barbara Kay in the National Post: May 23, 2013


Teaching children to hate the ex




The great Victorian novelist Charles Dickens was doubly traumatized in early youth by a feckless father and a harsh social system with scant appreciation for children’s tender psyches.
Dickens’ soul-searing experience at age 12 in a shoe-blacking factory provided a cornucopia of creative inspiration for his novels, into which he decanted much empathy for his fictional child alter-egos. Yet as Robert Gottlieb writes in his new book, “Great Expectations: The Sons and Daughters of Charles Dickens,” the author could be cruel in his personal life. And those closest to him carried their own scars as a result.

When Dickens’s last child, youngest of a large brood, was six years old, Dickens, who’d fallen in love with the actress Ellen Ternan, expelled his wife Catherine from his life, and demanded that his children do the same. He justified his brutality against his wife with claims that Catherine was an unloving mother – not true – and that the children did not love her – a much more pernicious lie.

This grotesque emotional behaviour — inciting one’s children to hate their other parent — is a form of alienation that did not have a name in 1850. But today, it is well understood by experts, as well as those unlucky enough to be a “target parent” like Catherine Dickens. The term used to describe the phenomenon, as it affects children, is parental alienation syndrome (PAS).
Thanks to the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), launched last week, PAS is now almost logged in as an official disorder. I say “almost” because those exact words are not in the DSM-5 (this was a deliberate and much-discussed decision). However, the new broader category of “child psychological abuse” is defined as “non-accidental verbal or symbolic acts by a child’s parent or caregiver that result, or have reasonable potential to result, in significant psychological harm to the child.”

More here:

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2013/05/23/barbara-kay-teaching-children-to-hate-the-ex/

Dr Bernet's full statement:

"Finally, DSM-5 was published today. The DSM-5 Task Force told us 2 or 3 years ago that they did not want parental alienation to be a separate diagnosis in DSM-5, but they thought that parental alienation could be considered an example of other diagnoses that are in DSM-5.

The actual words "parental alienation" are not in DSM-5, but there are several diagnose...s that can be used in these cases. I would say the "spirit" of parental alienation is in DSM-5, even if the words are not.

Parent-child relational problem now has a discussion in DSM-5, not just a label. The discussion explains that cognitive problems in parent-child relational problem "may include negative attributions of the other's intentions, hostility toward or scapegoating of the other, and unwarranted feelings of estrangement." That is a pretty good description of a child's view of the alienated parent, although it is an unfortunate use of the word "estrangement."

Child psychological abuse is a new diagnosis in DSM-5. It is defined as "nonaccidental verbal or symbolic acts by a child's parent or caregiver that result, or have reasonable potential to result, in significant psychological harm to the child." In many instances, the behavior of the alienating parent constitutes child psychological abuse.

Child affected by parental relationship distress is another new diagnosis in DSM-5. It should be used "when the focus of clinical attention if the negative effects of parental relationship discord (e.g., high levels of conflict, distress, or disparagement) on a child in the family, including effects on the child's mental or other physical disorders." That is also a good description of how parental alienation comes about.

Factitious disorder imposed on another is the DSM-5 terminology for factitious disorder by proxy or Munchausen disorder by proxy. Its definition is "falsification of physical or psychological signs or symptoms, or induction of injury or disease, in another, associated with identified deception." In some cases, that would describe the behavior of the alienating parent.

Delusional symptoms in partner of individual with delusional disorder is the DSM-5 terminology for shared psychotic disorder or folie a deux. The definition is: "In the context of a relationship, the delusional material from the dominant partner provides content for delusional belief by the individual who may not otherwise entirely meet criteria for delusional disorder."

In discussing this topic, I would say that the concept of parental alienation is clearly in DSM-5, although the actual words are not. This is a great improvement over DSM-IV-TR, especially with the addition of the new diagnoses, child psychological abuse and child affected by parental relationship distress.

Best wishes, Bill

William Bernet, M.D.
Professor Emeritus, Department of Psychiatry
Vanderbilt University School of Medicine
Nashville, Tennessee"







Monday, May 20, 2013

Blogger dads increase clout as parents


Although not directly related to equal parenting the following Toronto Star editorial gives light to the growing clout of stay at home dads. I left comments to give light to the dysfunction of Family Law in Family Courts and wanted to show the sheer discrimination by gender going on. As a former 10 year stay-at-home parent I have direct experience. It is not a ticket to equality if your spouse is after sole custody and its entitlements.

I was a stay-at-home dad for 10 years raising 2 girls from infancy and, as it turned out, very good at it despite my own initial trepidation. As a boy I grew up in an era where dad was provider and there were different gender roles. My transition was not without some fear I might lack certain ingredients to be successful. I worked from home as the tech guy and graphics producer. On the weekend and some evenings and holidays I worked behind the counter in the retail side of our business. My day was flexible allowing for volunteer time at schools and handling client work after the kids were in bed.

I blogged about some of this going back to 2003, mostly for two older daughters who lived a great distance from us but could get updates on dad's new adventures.

Having said all that if one gets divorced and has a non-cooperative female spouse who won't equally share parenting after divorce most dads are out of luck and will be marginalized by Family Law Courts.

In over 90% of cases, in Canada, mom will get sole physical custody of the children, marginalizing dads, including those who raised his children. Mom can be cleverly hostile, aided and abetted by lawyers, but appear to be quite affable and cooperative to the judge. The very fact she will not share equally the custody of children with a fit dad is hostile. This usually involves making dad the stereotypical bad male who can be abusive and not to be trusted with children.

Family Law is not as quick to change as are companies marketing a product, unfortunately. A lot of this is directly related to Lawyers who almost everywhere it is proposed, oppose equal shared parenting. Their feminist cohorts, such as LEAF in Ontario do likewise.

There is one thing I have discovered through my own experience, research, and observation. Men are the most versatile of all life forms on the planet. You will find us in the most dangerous jobs on earth and nurturing our treasured children.

"Blogger dads for truth in diapering: Editorial

Dads who devote their days to their kids have created a powerful online community that is rapidly getting attention from marketing companies.
After mastering the art of the stay-at-home dad, father bloggers are now fighting against the archaic gender-insulting notions perpetuated in television commercials that men can’t handle a wet diaper, much less a week alone with the kids.

By airing their complaints online, dads who devote their days to their children have created a powerful voice that is rapidly getting attention from the marketing companies that create those antiquated ads. And that’s a good thing.

As Fatima Arkin writes in the Star, their blogging power has jolted companies like Huggies and Playskool into a new era of marketing that acknowledges fathers as capable parents and even better, valued shoppers.

Stay-at-home dads — those who let moms pursue careers or at least a work-life balance — have the commercial clout to demand a certain truth in advertising, even if it is self-serving.

They are also part of a societal change. After all, in 2011, 60,000 Canadian fathers stayed home with the kids, triple the number in the 1970s."

http://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorials/2013/05/19/blogger_dads_for_truth_in_diapering_editorial.html

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Modern Feminism in Canada

Feminists, male and female, try to disrupt a Canadian Association for Equality meeting at the University of Toronto in 2013