I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Chapter 98 ~ A note on Cardio Vascular Exercise – one of my therapies - (and letters to legal firms)

I've been meaning to go and check out new jogging shoes in the last while and finally got into the local "Sportscheck" on Sunday after dropping off Delia from our skating session. My Nike Air Max's are getting older but still have life left in them. I had intended to buy Nikes which I've used forever and lost track of the quality and innovation by other manufacturers.

The store staff were steering me toward Asics (I couldn't even pronounce their name – although I had seen their ads and read about athletes who used them when I subscribed to "Runners World Magazine" back in the 70's.) I was a keener and even had a written Runners World daily diary. Bill Rodgers was one of my heroes who could win the Boston Marathon with a sub 5 minute pace. How was this possible I wondered? He is about I year younger than me. Canadians shouldn't have any trouble because the store staff said it is pronounced AAAAAYsics rather than AHsics. In any event they had a pair of 2110 full Gel versions on at half price. I tried them on and they felt great – light as a feather compared to my Nikes and very flexible. I was troubled though about such a bold switch with a brand whose name I only just learned to pronounce and pondered a pair of Nike Air Max's, also on sale. They felt heavier but sturdy consistent with my past and current experience.

It just so happened that one of my customers, who also happens to be a very fit fitness instructor – and looks the part - was in the sports store with a male companion who was looking for a model of Asics I new nothing about. They overheard my conversation with store staff and reinforced everything I was being told about Asics. Given they actually used them in their fitness business I was convinced I should take advantage of the half price sale and bought a pair.

Now here's the thing! I use my daily treadmill workout to get back in shape as an intrinsic personal goal and as part of my therapy process for the divorce and the upcoming civil action against the ex and other named parties. It works and I'm in good cardio-vascular condition while losing weight. I can easily outrun my 12 and nine year old daughters and their friends. The weight loss is extremely satisfying and I'm looking better than several months back. I recall my Mom saying back in the early 70's I was starting to lose my looks when I, for the first time, ballooned up to 180 lbs. I took a good look at some photos of before and current and had to agree with her. My face was pudgier. I went on what Dr. Atkins then called his high protein diet and quickly lost 20 lbs. He would eventually write a bigger book and the low carb movement was born. The real challenge, as it always is, was to keep it off and so in 1977 I started serious jogging. I still remember my first night out in Severn Bridge, Ontario in the deep cold of winter doing my first half mile and felt like I was going to drop from exhaustion. The ex and I had moved in together in the fall of 1977 after building a house. I was still at a good weight then but knew I had to work on my cardio-vascular system. Each successive day after that though I could go a slightly further distance until I was doing 10 KM's on some days in the early 90's. That is how I succeeded in getting to the 10k distance by very small increments measured over time as goals achieved. I could reward myself to reinforce reaching my objectives.

Then word of the ex's criminal activities arrived in 1994 and my world fell apart and so did my desire to excel. I carried on after that intermittently but my soul was crushed and I eventually succumbed to a darker force that was taking me into an abyss I would not start climbing from until 2003. It was a terrible time although I never felt depressed but certainly sadness was present. I was gradually losing my emotional attachment to the ex until I had divorced her emotionally in 2002-2003. After 2003 I seldom even spoke to her unless it involved the children's well being or was a special day such as the Children's birthdays or Christmas. We were shadows passing in the night, day, morning, and evening - 24/7. Even then I was only starting to take baby steps – but steps back to self directed behaviour never-the-less.

I've used the Asics 2110's for two days now. Yesterday I did 2.83 miles which is at the high end for my 30 minute workouts. My goal is 2.7 miles as a base line. My previous best before that was 2.86 miles but this distance was the exception rather than the rule. I felt winded at the end of the workout but I did not do anything different other than wear the shoes. This distance was excellent in terms of my efforts and previous accomplishments. The shoes are definitely lighter and seem to create less friction on the treadmill mat allowing it to travel at a higher average speed. The support system also seems to be superior – kind of like built in orthotics but I'll give this a little time to see if it holds up. This morning, however, was interesting as hell. I did 2.93 miles (4.7 KM's.) and felt winded as on Monday but good at the accomplishment. My body will adapt to this greater speed overall if I can maintain it. For me, at my stage of this exercise regime, that is monumental. For those of you who are veterans of course it is nothing but for a 61 year old man who has only gotten back into it over the past 6 months that is closing in on a 10 minute per mile pace. My goal was to be at that pace by years end and then gradually improve time and distance to one day achieve a life long goal and run a marathon. A ten minute pace for a marathon is about a 4.4 hour duration. I'd be happy with that in my first race but that is down the road in a couple of years in all probability. It is something good to shoot for over the longer term. I think the feeling of just finishing a Marathon will be pretty nice. I know the best feelings I've ever experienced were the births of my 4 daughters and another one was getting accepted into university. I still remember the day well. The Marathon will be somewhere below my absolute emotional high points when my four princesses of Ireland were born but rank highly with my acceptance into University and graduation from Wilfrid Laurier University. Why was acceptance into university so good, you are asking perhaps? I was from a poor working class family where the notion of post secondary education was never discussed because it was not on any one's radar. My father made good money but he was an alcoholic and drank most of it away every night of the week. We were left with little. Perhaps it will be like the feeling of watching my first born daughter gleaming after she got her degree from the University of Western Ontario. That was a hell of a grand day - I was lustrous and beaming with pride as well given my own very humble roots.

I am pleased with the shoes so far but time will tell. (I do not own shares or even know where such things are traded for Asics and offer my initial opinion only because it might be useful and I have a good feeling after my "sterling" distance this morning)

I will be writing to the Minister of Justice and the Minister responsible for the Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA) later and the letter will be reproduced in the next chapter advising them the CRA will become a defendant in the law suit against my ex. In this country the Minister of Justice has to be served when a lawsuit is commenced against the federal government. Their treatment of me with the malicious prosecution for tax evasion (subsequently dropped), garnisheeing my pension for $12,000.00, their investigative techniques which caused a drop in customers, all based on the ex's handiwork and the current "dogs breakfast" I face deserves to be heard before a jury of my peers.

The letters to the legal firms are all faxed out. I hope one of them can help me out with this agonizing war with the ex. I also wish there was a better way for us as I do not want to do this.