I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

More dad is just bad complexities arise

The question of child custody can get quite complex in same sex relationships. I mentioned in a previous post my head started to hurt when one looked at all the permutations one could think about with "what if" analysis. The one following is related to the Mindy Jacobs column and propaganda piece "when dad is just bad" of Sept. 10/08 and my response letter to the Edmonton Sun posted shortly after it appeared. In that article Jacobs quoted Rita Smith, Executive Director of National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, as saying leaders of father's rights groups are abusers. That must mean I am an abuser despite having an ex who committed theft, fraud and forgery against my FORMER employer, served jail time for it, was ordered to pay restitution of $50,000.00, ruining my reputation and a host of other actions criminal and otherwise since, including the worst one of all with the pathological alienation of my children from me and then physically kidnapping them into one of the very shelters Smith promotes, all based on lies and the committing of criminal actions prior to going. That I have suffered physical, emotional and financial abuse is immaterial. I am a man and expected to suck it up. No bias here at all. So much for blanket characterizations by leaders in the Domestic Violence Industry. The portion of this industry I refer to is DV allegedly performed by men. There are no services from tax payers money to support male victims of DV in North America even though men are abused almost as often as women. What does that do to Smith's credibility in my eyes. I use the term Poverty Pimp to describe those who live off the avails of the poor. Smith has a vested interest in keeping her industry in a "growth stage" as she can garner more money from taxpayers to get more false accusations of abuse in divorce cases which are now around 85%. This will keep her employed at a very well paid salary with perks like attending conventions in foreign countries and getting sycophants like Jacob's, of the Edmonton Sun, to regurgitate their unsubstantiated vitriol. Should I coin a new term and describe a position like this as a DV Pimp or just stay with the former one above? I like to have reasonable discourse but I find the radical feminist activists like Smith to be not interested in truthful discourse only furthering their own vested interest in a very well funded industry. The problem is when comments like this arise it is counter productive for those women who have actually suffered from the horrors of abuse whether from a male or female partner. Yes there is female on female abuse. Nevertheless, Sarah finds herself in a plight similar to most men with respect to custody although she is not a dad nor is she a biological relative. It is highly complex but that is where we are going in this country and one would think she has even fewer rights than a biological father. Will the radical feminists jump all over this one now. Who will they support given both parties are female? It is indeed a conundrum. We shall watch and wait with great anticipation. In the meantime she has my unfettered sympathy. I understand your plight Sarah. It is not a happy one at all. Good luck.

Lesbian Social/Noncustodial Mom: 'Put yourself in the position of a father upon separation'

September 24th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks

One of my readers is a lesbian social/noncustodial mother named Sarah. Sarah is a lesbian woman who, while in a committed relationship with her partner, agreed to have a child via artificial insemination from an anonymous donor. Her partner carried the child for them.

As often happens in lesbian breakups, the biological mom has been determined to drive her former partner out of their child's life.

Sarah has been following the controversy over National Coalition Against Domestic Violence executive director Rita Smith's accusations that the leaders of some fathers' rights groups are "abusers." Mindy Jacobs of the Edmonton Sun reported this in her recent column When dad is just bad (9/10/08).

Below is Sarah's letter to Mindy Jacobs. Sarah jokes that she is "The Great Canadian Lesbian-Father" and gave me permission to reprint her letter to Jacobs. It is below.

Dear Mindy, I am a Canadian female lesbian-father of a young child. You might want to ask yourself why I've labeled myself as being my daughter's father. Well, it's simple to explain. After years of access rights with my daughter, my same-sex ex-spouse notified my daughter's doctor that she had been visiting her "father" on the weekend and had been exposed to cigarette smoke the whole time. I don't smoke, and I am certainly not a father, am I? So why then does the doctor's report state that I am my daughter's father? Okay, I've adjusted to being my daughter's father minus the anatomy. But, if you think for one second that all mothers of children out there deserve the right to control a father's relationship with their own child, then you are wrong. You are also wrong if you think that upon separation that any father is given adequate rights with their child.

Perhaps laws should be altered to give fathers decent access rights, decent financial responsibilities, and perhaps the "abusive behavior" you are talking about will disappear!

For just one second, put yourself in the position of a father upon separation. Stand before a judge and hear your destiny.

Do us all a big favor and alter your thinking to fight for changes to our legal system to initiate and protect a father's right to access, custody, and basic human decency.

I challenge you to take the father's seat in family court for just one sitting.