I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The USA experience on Domestic Violence soon to be brought to a Province in Canada near you thanks to Chris Bentley our feminist Attorney General

Uncertain Justice

The legal system is hostile to men. In domestic abuse cases, any false allegation a woman makes is likely to ruin a man's life. "Must arrest" laws require police to make an arrest, regardless of the officer's judgment. "Primary aggressor" laws pre-dispose police toward arresting men rather than women, regardless of the truth of an event. "No drop prosecution" policies pressure prosecutors to pursue a criminal conviction, even when they would otherwise drop charges. America's Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) effectively denies the existence of abuse against men, and provides hundreds of millions of dollars in support only to women who claim to be victims of abuse (see videos [1] and [2]).

Clearly, the cards are stacked against men. Both the legal system and popular culture spread the unfair bigotry that men are predisposed to violence, while denying the violence done by women (see research). In this charged environment, a falsely accused man is likely to become forever entangled in a web of lies and distortions, in which he is the prey.

Don't Make Her Mad - Just Expose Her Abuse

Question for men: Ever hear a woman tell you, "Just give me a reason!" or "All I need is an excuse"? She's telling you she's aware of her legal advantages, and that making her angry enough could provide her with just enough inward justification to destroy you with a false allegation. Simply making her mad could cause you to lose your freedom, kids, reputation, career, and finances.

Reacting to such an abusive woman's insane sense of entitlement, too many men respond with hostility (which may backfire). This site advises men against "acting out" toward her in any way, because that could give her all the excuse she needs to fabricate an allegation.

Instead, we advise men to "let her be her threatening self," long enough for it to be captured via surveillance. Yes, we advocate the use of surveillance to expose the outrageous intimidation that women wield against men who would make them angry. This site provides men with the tools they need to prove their innocence. Armed with technology, men can show the legal system and the world that they are not the aggressors that the feminist culture claims them to be.

Arrest Policies in the U.S.

Did you know that in most states, the mere allegation of domestic violence requires an arrest?

Here's a map that illustrates arrest policies in the United States. In the red and orange states, police are allowed little to no discretion to base an arrest on the validity of an accusation. They must arrest "somebody" (usually the man) if domestic abuse is implied. Even when an unthreatened woman violently injures a man, he is the one usually arrested and devastated by a restraining order. The true victim is now blocked from returning home, collecting his belongings, seeing his children, and therefore collecting evidence in his defense.

With so much to lose and so quickly, men who fear the devastating effects of a false allegation must be prepared to show they are innocent.

Tell Your Story

Here's your chance to tell others what you have learned as the victim of a volatile woman. Please share your story! Others in similar situations need to know they are not alone. You may also find it therapeutic to share your experiences.

To tell your story, you will first need to register in our discussion forum. Please be assured that we will always protect your privacy, and will not sell or release your information to anyone. Go ahead, and join in the discussion! Register now, and then tell your story!

Or, if you aren't ready to register, you can also read about the experiences of others before telling your story. Here's the story of John Dias, the creator of this Web site.

Ask the Wizards!

Do you need to record abusive behavior against you? Unsure of the best way to do it? What equipment is available, affordable, and adequate to meet your needs? Our surveillance experts can help! You can check out equipment we recommend, or contact us. You will receive an e-mail reply with recommendations on the most effective technology to achieve your objective.

Give Us Your Opinion!

By promoting surveillance, DontMakeHerMad.com has taken an unusual approach to combatting false allegations against men. What do you think of this approach? Will it have a positive effect on the legal system? Offer your opinion in our Discussion Forum.

What Not To Do if You Are Falsely Accused

If you are falsely accused of domestic violence, be aware of your rights. The American constitution grants you several rights against illegal searches and seizures, and self-incrimination. Police responding to a domestic abuse call will already believe you are guilty (if you're a man accused by a woman). Don't help them. If you are being framed, politely insist on your rights and behave in an exemplary fashion.

Here's a video that shows you how to utilize your rights. It is not specifically about domestic abuse allegations, but the principles are the same. Don't surrender your constitutional rights.

Men are getting shortchanged ~ Gender specific health problems

Monday, November 17, 2008 Men are getting shortchanged By Bill Taylor Monday, November 17, 2008 It seems to me that we, as a nation, are increasingly becoming divided into different groups or categories. We find splits between those who live in large cities and those who live in small towns and rural areas, folks who believe they should control how their income is spent and those who think the government should redistribute earnings among those who work and those who don’t - and, well, you get the idea. One such division recently surfaced once again - but it wasn’t easily recognized by most. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month where there is a lot of publicity including TV spots, marches, newspaper ads, pink ribbons, pink T-shirts, and all sorts of activity to highlight this form of cancer - and to raise millions of dollars in the fight for its detection and cure. This highly commendable effort illustrates the concern of our nation for those who are inflicted with this deadly, gender specific disease. (There are a very few, very rare, cases in which males develop breast cancer, but Breast Cancer Awareness Month addresses only breast cancer in women.) OK, so what does this have to do with these divisions - the separation into different groups or categories? Simple - men also suffer from a deadly, gender specific disease - it’s prostate cancer. So some men are now starting to ask, “Where’s prostate cancer awareness month - or week, or even day? Where’s a postage stamp to raise money for prostate cancer research - the breast cancer awareness one raised over $50 million? Where are the marches, the T-shirts, the TV spots? In short, why doesn’t anyone care about the guys?” Part of the answer lies in the “everybody knows” body of knowledge. Everybody knows that prostate cancer is neither as prevalent nor as deadly as breast cancer, right? Furthermore, those who have prostate cancer will likely die from something else before they die of prostate cancer. Well, according to the latest figures I have seen from the American Cancer Society, the incidence rate per 100,000 people is 135.2 for breast cancer but is 172.3 for prostate cancer. That’s about 27.5% higher for prostate cancer. Oops! Furthermore, the death rate per 100,000 people is 27 for breast cancer, but is 32 per 100,000 for prostate cancer. That’s about 18.5% higher. Double oops! How about one more statistic? The last estimate that I have seen shows that among new cancer cases (excluding non-melanoma cell skin cancers), prostate cancer is projected to be the most common cancer in the country - outstripping both breast cancer and lung and bronchial cancer. Is there such as thing as triple oops? Prostate cancer is the only cancer that doctors not only debate how to treat - sometimes leaving the decision to the patient - but are also are in disagreement about whether to treat it at all even though it kills at a higher rate than breast cancer. One reason is that cancer specialists admit they don’t understand what causes prostate cancer. Sounds like a good candidate for research, right? Well, according to the last figures I have seen, government spending on breast cancer research is 180% of that for prostate cancer. As for clinical trials involving newer ways to defeat the cancers, the number of those involving breast cancer patients is four times that of prostate cancer victims. Kinda makes a guy wonder, doesn’t it? I must admit that I am a bit prejudiced on this subject because I’m a prostate cancer survivor - so far. Regardless, the facts remain - in contrast to the magnificent effort we are making on the behalf of women’s breast cancer, we, as a nation, are shortchanging this male-specific killer. Some fund raisers or increase in research dollars would be nice. Do you suppose we could squeeze out a prostate cancer awareness week somewhere amidst all the other “awareness” celebrations? Not likely - although February 29th might be considered appropriate. Nope, this concern will continue to be largely ignored along with other male-oriented issues - such as men as victims of domestic violence - and, as usual, the guys will be expected to “take it like a man” and get used to it. At least that’s how it seems to me. Bill Taylor may be contacted at solie1@juno.com.

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