I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Why men and dad's are shown as Buffoons in media commercials and TV Shows

Even though it is men who have invented almost every important thing since the dawn of time, explored and discovered every corner of our planet and beyond, have fought most every war and died to give every person freedom where it exists we are in a state of time where it is fine to treat us as trash. Why? Because we are too "manly" to fight back. We, as we do with Domestic Violence and emotional abuse, perpetrated on us by females "suck it up." We are our own worst enemy. It is beginning to be heard though as this column in the National Post attests. One of our own Fathers Rights Advocates, Don Dymond, is quoted. What is the reason why ad agencies and TV producers do this to men. It sells - why else. Did you know that women make about 90% of the buying decisions? Whose fault is that? We men are good delegators but it comes at a price. Advertising agencies and TV producers target the buyers of products and to do this they denigrate men and praise women. It is so patronizingly simple. Make the woman look good and she will dutifully believe it and purchase the product. Its time for more men like Don Dymond and Jeremy Swanson to stand up and tell these folks we will boycott their products and not allow them into our homes. Paper towels can bio degrade in the humus out back just nicely and after a one time of laying down the law about appropriate purchases you can be assured they will not be show up again in a home where a man is resident. MJM
National Post

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Presented by

Jeer old dad

When it comes to television advertising, it's open season on fathers

Mary Vallis, National Post

In commercial after commercial on TV, the image of the modern husband and father is one of the buffoon -- trapped in a shed he built without doors, staring blankly at spilled juice, gorging on dog cookies until his ever-capable wife comes to the rescue.

Such ads are a mainstay because they work: They make viewers laugh, and they sell. And, also, critics argue, because such stereotyping remains socially acceptable.

"WASP men are the greatest target in advertising. The reason I say that is they are the only safe target in advertising," said Terry O'Reilly of Pirate Toronto, a leading audio advertising firm, and host of The Age of Persuasion, a CBC radio show.

"When you make fun of a white, Anglo-Saxon male, husband, dad, you don't get a single letter of complaint."

In his 30-year career in advertising, Mr. O'Reilly has never received a letter from anybody offended by the gentle fun he pokes at dads.

But in an age when fathers are expected to take on a greater role at home--changing diapers and clipping coupons, while also earning a paycheque -- portrayals of Dad as a bumbling fool are troubling to those who would like to see more equality in the domestic realm.

"It's deeply sexist, but what's even more troubling is that it's invisible as a form of sexism," said Dr. Kerry Daly, who runs the Fatherhood Involvement Research Alliance at the University of Guelph.

"They laugh, and it's funny, so there's the licence to laugh without the concern for the impact that it has. And I think it does have a significant impact, in continuing to reinforce negative behaviours associated with fathering and men's behaviour."

Fathers' rights advocates have begun boycotting companies that run ads they deem offensive. Since 2004, the Advertising Standards Council of Canada, the advertising industry's regulatory agency, has upheld seven complaints against advertisers accused of treating men unfairly.

In one of the cases, a father in Calgary filed a complaint against home-improvement store Rona. The spot showed a female customer lamenting that her husband does not help around the house.

A female salesperson responded, "They're all like that, aren't they?" The advertising council deemed the clerk's comment "disparaging" because it implied all husbands are lazy.

Such depictions of men frustrate Don Dymond, a fathers' rights activist and chemical engineer in Fort St. John, B. C. One night last January, he sat in front of his television and took notes as he watched how often men were portrayed as "smart," or "dumb" or "neutral." Tallying his notes, he concluded the ads portrayed men as dumb five times more often than women.

One of the offenders in his admittedly unscientific survey was Bounty paper towels. In the ad, a man and his son watch spilled liquid seeping toward a rug, as a glass still lays on its side in front of them.

As they debate how many paper towel sheets it will take to clean up the spreading mess (three-or four-sheeter?), Mom capably settles the debate, ripping off one sheet of paper towel and walking over to clean up.

"Once you open your mind to it, and you sit and you watch every single commercial on TV, anybody would start seeing this," Mr. Dymond said. He fears the effect they will have on his young sons. "What message are we sending out? ... If none of this turns around, what do we think it's going to be like in 20 years?"

Alison Thomas, a college professor of sociology in B. C., ponders the same question. Her own husband often cringes when offending ads flash on their television screen.

For years, Prof. Thomas has studied the depiction of parental roles in Mother's Day and Father's Day cards.

Her research, gleaned from studying hundreds of greeting cards, shows that fathers are typically characterized as flatulent, lazy shirkers who are subordinate to their wives and flounder with household tasks. Mothers, on the other hand, are portrayed as always there, always busy and always right.

Such humourous messages could have far-reaching consequences for both genders, Prof. Thomas said.

"It reinforces for women and men alike the idea that this really isn't men's normal home turf, that they're not able to be good at it, and therefore, why bother?" Prof. Thomas said.

"As a feminist, I find that problematic, because while it appears to be empowering women -- saying women are superior, women are supermoms, they can do everything, men can't really do this stuff -- what's the outcome going to be? That women carry on doing it all."



A father is helping his daughter do Internet research. "So it's kind of encyclopedia-ish," the father says. "It is an encyclopedia. No ish," his daughter replies, unfazed. The man's wife enters and asks whether he is going to wash the dog. He agrees to the chore, but immediately turns back to the computer, saying he is helping his daughter with a school project. The daughter sends a pleading look to her mother, begging to be left alone. The man's wife calls him away.


A woman arrives home to hear a buzzing and a squeal from her husband, who is upstairs. She finds him in front of a mirror, tattooing a backward lucky "7" on his chest in the mirror. When she tells him the tattoo is backward, he laughs, shakes his head and says, "No, it' isn't." She widens her eyes, says OK, and leaves the room. Panicked, he turns back to the mirror, in which the image appears the right way. "Phew!" he says.


A man asks his family if they want to go camping. The spot then shifts to a dream sequence of what the mother envisions the trip to be: The husband burns himself on a campfire, sticks his fingers together with marshmallow goo, stumbles on the rocks and hits himself in the face with a canoe paddle. The wife then visualizes herself applying Polysporin to his wounds, smiles and agrees to go. The children cheer.


A woman stroking her dog calls Pepto-Bismol and reports, "I want to know if we're covered. Last night, Rex got into everything ... chips, tapioca, ice cream, leftover moo shu and, of course, dog treats." When the company's clerk says they do not cover dogs, the shot widens to reveal the woman's husband groaning in an easy chair, holding his stomach. "Oh, no, Charlie is my dog. Rex is my husband," she says.


In the ad, a man and his son sit watching spilled liquid seep towards a rug, as a glass lays on its side in front of them. As they debate how many paper towel sheets it will take to clean up the spreading mess (three-or four-sheeter?), Mom comes in and settles the debate, quickly ripping off one sheet of paper towel and walking over to clean up.


A father passing by a Subway shop with his family notices a sign for a new sub and asks if he can get one. "Not now, Chris is late for his practice," the wife says, stroking the hair of her son, who is holding a soccer ball. The husband begins to beg and plead with his wife and throws a childlike tantrum, stomping his feet and putting his fingers in his ears while yelling, "I want that Subway sandwich now!" The man's son tells him to grow up. "You grow up!" the husband retorts.

Ads show men as incompetent, childish
National Post, Saturday, June 20, 2009

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