I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Antonia Zerbisias ~ Note from the management ~ Mike Murphy ~ Letter to Antonia

See Atonia's scribbles down further and mine immediately following or visit her blog here: http://thestar.blogs.com/broadsides/2009/01/note-from-the-management.html

Name calling is not the way to solve issues or convince someone you have a logical argument. It wasn't in the school yard in grade 5 or today. The Star's censure bureau only appears to work one way, however. The leftish stance of the paper is "we can say what we want as long as it incorporates our bleeding heart bias" but if someone writes to us and are not sensitive to that then it must be kept in darkness.

It also, obviously, doesn't have a clue about what is good journalism and what its reporters/columnists cut and paste from other blogs. Where is your editor or is the fact they call this a blog carte blanche for anything goes - even the truth. The internet is chock full of misinformation but we expect the Toronto Star, Canada's largest circulation daily, to keep a slightly more elevated status that us mere citizen bloggers/journalists whose research budget is nada. We do not have the same kind of resources available and no budgets.

You have printed some pretty bad references from non-scientific source material with no credible scientific validity to reinforce your argument about how you are part of a victimized underclass. That females were treated without sensitivity at one point was true but dare I say you need to stand on your own two feet and now is as good a time as any. Don't come back and tell me about how you are physically abused because you are smaller. Men, are by far the largest segment of the population in this society who are beaten, maimed, killed whether it be on "main" street or in Afghanistan. Even in DV men and women are as equally likely to initiate intimate partner violence and women by far are the most likely to harm or kill their children. Yes women do suffer greater injury because of their size/strength relative to men.

Never having been a woman I don't know what it is like. Having been handicapped for most of my life I do know about discrimination and more limited options for career choices. I didn't need a "movement" or entitlements in the billions (Canada wide for women only), however, to find my way through the morass of discrimination and bigotry out there - and it does exist. It is frustrating that sometimes because you are handicapped (loss of an arm) that some people also used to think you were also less intelligent. (You seem to be blond - do you run into this because of hair colour) So I am sensitive to what your plight may be but I have credibility problems when a well paid Toronto Star employee keeps whining without benefit of good science or journalistic standards.

It has dragged your newspaper down in terms of its lustre and credibility. I'll stick to getting real unadulterated news from the National Post, the BBC on the international side, and the Globe and Mail - but I do love your wheels section and Jim Kenzie who is the best. Jim uses his engineering background to provide solid opinions on the items he discusses after personal testing. I suggest you do the same instead of cut and paste journalism.

I recommend you read Barbara Kay or Christie Blatchford or even Rosie DiManno in your own paper periodically to get the perspective of real women who are equal, who know they are equal and don't need an archaic and wrongheaded notion of feminism to tell them that. The feminism you once thought meant equality died a very long time ago. Now you have an army of entitlement graspers and pseudo intellectual prognosticators whining about their victimhood. Its time to celebrate your womanhood and share it with those in the opposite sex who appreciate real feminism, if in fact you like the opposite sex. That's what makes you different from us males. I adore that and its nice to every now and then celebrate the differences. It is wonderful and romantic and sometimes even intoxicating – but not necessarily from chemicals or alcohol. It can still be visible as you compete in the cut and thrust of the everyday marketplace of business and commerce, government and all the other employment venues where men and women participate for jobs. Do what many men and many real women do, segment your competitive spirit to attain better pay and positions from your non-work life where possible. Being a dad/mom and wife/husband can be far different than being the best employee you can be. The family part is more important.

In fact Family is the most important element of our civilization but it is disintegrating. Is it any surprise that social problems are increasing, especially amongst our youngest, who find solace and role models in gangs and other negative areas whether it is drugs, sex and rock n roll. Part of the reason for this is found in how the family courts try to reinvent the basic building block of our society - the family. It isn't working and needs change.

If you support equality then support equal and shared parenting for men and woman. Be a champion if you indeed believe in the old reason for feminism's existence.

Just saying…..

Note from the management

The comments have exploded on some of my recent posts relating to men's rights groups, divorce and custody, child support and paternity issues. Many of them remain unpublished -- not by me but by the Star's Kommentariat Bureau, aka The Goderators -- who assume responsibility and control of these matters.

If it were up to me, I would post them all, including the obscene and hateful ones. I think being called a ''feminazi whore'' and worse by those who purport to seek fairness and justice kind of reinforces my point that some guys have anger issues.

Note that the Star's comments policy bars flaming, profanity, slander and hate speech. Make it dirty but keep it clean, folks, if you get my drift.

Also, I would like to make a point about many of the comments that blame feminists for child support payments and custody. There used to be a time when women, before feminism gave them the opportunity to have decent careers outside the home, also got alimony automatically, along with sole custody and child support.

Remember that?

I do.

Feminism screwed women out of alimony. It gave us ''manimony.'' It also helped joint custody happen.

Just saying.