I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Luke Geurtsen and The Office of the Queensland Parliamentary Counsel, in Australia

I don't usually make a separate posting of a comment relating to one of my earlier postings but I'm making an exception in this case because it is of interest on a number of levels all of which are discussed below. I also notified the poster's employer given he is a public servant in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia and he appears to be cruising the internet on tax payers money. The chap who made the comments has a big ego but isn't overly endowed with technical savvy. I think it would be rude of me to say he isn't a bright bulb in the overall scheme of things when it comes to surfing the internet but I'll just bet he is a lot more careful from now on - especially when at work using taxpayers money - to massage his rather large opinion of himself. My email to The Office of the Queensland Parliamentary Counsel (OQPC) follows. Mr. Geurtsen in Australian legal chambers all smiles - like the cat who caught the canary. These are the stated vision and values of this government agency. Compare them to Mr. Geurtsen's rant. Our vision A highly motivated, proactive and professional office that uses the best technology, skills and practices to ensure Queensland legislation is of the highest standard. Our values Commitment to client service, including honesty, objectivity, dedication and responsibility commitment to quality, including a proactive approach to innovation and continuous improvement And, to best achieve client service and quality, the office’s values also include:
  • teamwork the contribution of staff as individuals and team players
  • a supportive and professional working environment in which staff gain job satisfaction, skills development, career development and a sense of achievement

From: Mike Murphy [mailto:mike.murphy@nospam Sent: January 18, 2009 9:53 PM To: 'legislation.queries@oqpc.qld.gov.au' Cc: 'luke.geurtsen@oqpc.qld.gov.au' Subject: Luke Geurtsen an employee of your office cruising the internet on taxpayers time

I thought it appropriate I make up a separate posting of your employee’s activities, as shown below, on my blog at this link http://parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/2009/01/luke-geursten-and-office-of-queensland.html. Now when someone searches for your office or your employee, Geurtsen, my “obscure” blog will pop up complete with the statements of your agencies vision and values.

Please advise the actions you will be taking with Geurtsen prior to me advising your local Queensland newspapers of the kind of employee you have in a serious legislative body paid for by taxpayers who can ill afford to see their money wasted by foolish employee’s like this.

I received a comment on my blog from one of your employees as follows:

Luke said... Wow, I just found your obscure little blog. Do you know how many males in Australia convicted of killing their spouse try on the old, "but she abused me" excuse. Even despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. A court system does not need to waste time and money entertaining such BS arguments. These gutless wonders don't need any more legal excuses than what they have. So yeah, if you're an abused male. Grow some balls and walk away or take legal action. The very first things that most abusive males do is make sure that their female partners have no means of financial independance, so as to limit their ability to do either. How many females do that? January 18, 2009 8:12 PM The posting is local EST but corresponds to Monday morning (+15 hours your time) so would have been made at 11:12 AM your time)

It would appear he is doing this on taxpayer time, if indeed this is not a holiday down under or he called in sick, and for a public servant this ought not to go unpunished. Based on other postings he has made in the past elsewhere he seems to have a habit of doing this. Just follow his google search as shown in the “hit” he got on my blog below to see what I mean.

If you need to discipline him with further evidence of his rants elsewhere you can find it easily using google and his name. You will find his rambling answers to the problems of the judiciary in Australia. Normally I wouldn’t bother with ranting like his but he does appear to have a job dealing with actual laws and to me it’s just a little scary to let a bureaucrat like this loose on the taxpayer’s dime. Heaven forbid he should have any influence with actual legislation! Referring Link http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=Luke Geurtsen&meta= Host Name IP Address [Label IP Address] Country Australia Region - City - ISP Uunet Non-portable Customer Assignment Returning Visits 0 Visit Length 0 seconds VISITOR SYSTEM SPECS Browser MSIE 6.0 Operating System Windows XP Resolution 1280x1024 Javascript Enabled Navigation Path Date Time WebPage 18th January 2009 19:55:36 www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=Luke Geurtsen&meta= parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/2008/10/domestic-violence-victims-may-get.html My reply to your erstwhile employee follows:

My goodness Mr. Geurtsen you do have a very large ego don't you. When you posted this you were working on Ozzy taxpayer time it would appear? You seem to have a good job down there in Brisbane, in the Office of the Queensland Parliamentary Counsel and based on some of your blog posts have opinions on the judiciary of your country. Hopefully you wouldn’t try to influence them in your job as a public servant – or would you? Usually when feminists such as yourself find blogs discussing Father’s Rights or, in my case, Parental Alienation as well and that disagree with your own rather skewed and unknowing version of the world they say “stumbled upon” but not you – no sirree - you found an obscure blog way up here in Canada. You are not geographically challenged at all are you!

That was my 2nd hint you had a very large ego. The first was the really big one though and that was searching for yourself on the internet on Ozzy taxpayer time. Tsk, Tsk have you no shame? It appears not, based on your over blown opinions with no real understanding of Domestic Abuse at all. To say that I need “balls” and should walk away tells me a lot about your character and how little you know or understand DV. Based on your facebook picture it would appear you are basking in the glory of your exalted position in those hallowed chambers paid for by the hard working taxpayers of Queensland.

I’m not really going to waste a lot of my time on your comments. They speak for themselves. That you may be in a position of influencing legislation, however, is of greater concern given your limited capacity to absorb the nature of abuse no matter the source. For that reason I will be doing the following in addition to posting my reply to you. (ed note - see above email to his employer MJM)

PS. (Do you stroke anything else besides your ego on taxpayer time Luke my boy! You do seem to like preening for the feminists – do you have issues with women that cause you to want to look more favourable in their eyes – such as going from an Alpha to Beta male. A lot of your male feminist colleagues do – seems they missed out a lot in high school with the girls

Another Feminist Man named Adam McRae from all places Alberta gets his commuppance

This fellow named Adam McRae, whose email follows Mr. Schneiders, and who actually brags about being a male from Alberta, is a fully indoctrinated feminist ward and appears to believe all the propaganda he has been given by his feminist teachers, MSM and most other sources. Chances are he is or has been involved with a feminist girlfriend, thus his chemically altered emotional condition. (I guess some of them would actually directly "use" a guy instead of indirectly). Its a long read but worth it given it sums up the current state of the gender wars pretty well. Walter was quite gracious to the fellow given the incendiary comments made but then we get used to the emotional rhetoric of these acolytes and ideologically distorted, dysfunctional, disturbed, disjointed, sometimes diabolical radfems after a while.MJM From: "Walter H. Schneider" <misc@fathersforlife.org>
Date: 18 January 2009 06:29:24 GMT
Subject: Re: Fellow Albertan [A feminist man complains about a lack of statistics at Fathers for Life]

Hello Adam,

Good of you to write and to offer your opinions, but, wow, what strong language you use!

That you "stumbled upon" our website is not surprising. It is a large and popular website that covers a large variety of topics. Moreover, "stumbled upon your website" is a cliché that is literally never used by someone who is not a feminist or someone who agrees with what our website stands for. Without exception, of those about 4,500 "stumblers" who wrote to us over the years and found our website a stumbling block, not one ever had to say anything good about Fathers for Life, the rights of fathers or of men. With you being one of the "stumblers", I am not surprised that you had nothing good to say. The reason why I wrote back to you with such a lengthy response is that you distinguished yourself from all of the other 4,500 "stumblers." You do stand out. (More on that farther down)

"Stumblers" who wrote to us used to comprise about three percent of the incoming mail to Fathers for Life but lately, over the space of the last three years, their verbal eruptions dwindled down to next to nothing. Yours is the very first message from a stumbler in 2009, but that is just a random accident and not the true measure of your uniqueness. (I will come to what it is.)

Of course I read your complaint, although at times it is hard to keep up with all of the mail that is coming in. Moreover, I read your comments even though you made totally unsubstantiated insinuations and predictions that I would not. To make such insinuations and predictions is a little childish and does not become a man, but then you appear to feel that a man you are not. However, because your complaint was so very unique, I posted it to dads & things. After all, I would not write such a comment just to one individual without giving many others a chance to read it, too. It is of course befitting that they must have a chance to read what sparked my response, therefore, and because you are so unique, I posted both to dads & things. (I am a man of my word and will most certainly explain what makes you unique, as surely as I wrote back to you, and I will come to it soon.)

I am a man who wrote as a man, as a member of humanity. You wrote several times that you are a male. Am I correct in assuming that you emphasized that bit of feminist-created terminology because you consider yourself to be a member of the animal kingdom? Still that is nothing special. Many "new men" feel that way, especially if they posture to please their girlfriends.

What makes you unique is that you are the first individual, out of far more than 100,000 that wrote over the years, who complained about there being a lack of statistics at our website. That is very fascinating.

You are somewhat misinformed (perhaps because you attended a women's studies course or perhaps because you never had anyone but feminists teach you), but that is not due to the absence of statistics at our website, and I assume that you referred to http://fathersforlife.org, although you did not identify that or the web pages in which you found the statistics that offend you, nor did you identify the statistics that caused you to be obviously unhappy. That is very unprofessional, tsk, tsk, tsk. Did your teachers not tell you better?

I hate to take a guess at the sources of your misinterpretations and therefore will not do so. Your specifications are far too vague, and our website is far too large (1000 web pages, not counting our blog), to permit anyone to come even remotely close to guessing accurately what it was that raised your ire.

It is curious that you complain about the absence of statistics at Fathers for Life, yet your complaint is about statistics you found at our website. The website search-facility you apparently failed to discover (you could not possibly have overlooked it if only you would have read the short home page of Fathers for Life) identifies references to statistics and even shows them on a very large number of our web pages.

However, when you allege "misrepresentation and complete fabrication of facts" as you come falling with the door into the house when you come knocking, you must do much better. In essence, your accusations are slanderous and violate the reputation of the professionals whose statistics you label as misrepresentations and fabrications. Misrepresentations and fabrications are what feminists do. They are not something that reputable and self-respecting researchers engage in. For your own good, given the fact that you know very little about the subjects you are too quick to judge, you lay yourself open to lawsuits for slander and quite possibly even libel.

It is good that our website woke you up a little and made you determined to become a "voice towards the destruction of "organizations" and attitudes such as" ours. That your mind is made up about that will without a doubt ensure that you will be enlightened in more ways than you imagined to be even possible. I look forward to seeing the evidence of your efforts to that extent and hope that you will make the results of those efforts available at the earliest opportunity. Please, by all means, tell me when you are ready and go public with the results of your efforts. I will then look up the source location.

By the way, you will most definitely benefit from the use of two tools we installed to help people who try to debunk feminist propaganda and bigotry. Make sure to use the site-specific search-entry-field in the upper right-hand corner of virtually all of our web pages, and also explore dads & things, the blog affiliated with the website of Fathers for Life. Our blog is almost as popular as our website is (its popularity has doubled during the last year), and blog entries relating to specific searches you will undertake will be included in the search-return list. Using the search facility to find occurrences of "sexual abuse" will give you a long list of entries, and a search for "sexual child abuse" OR "child sexual abuse" will provide another fairly long list, while many of the pages you will find through those searches also contain many links to more in-depth studies on those subjects.

A search for pay equity will also prove to be very productive, and, interestingly, one of the reports on that issue, commissioned and published by StatCan, will provide you with more statistical tables, bar charts and graphs than you will probably like to read or are perhaps capable to comprehend if you can't handle the mathematics. That report (and a graph from it) is mentioned in the web page on "Pay equity for women doesn't exist?". The conclusion of that StatCan report is that:

On page 27 of their study they say:

Do the models provide evidence of discrimination against women?

The models provide incontrovertible evidence that women interact differently with the labour market than men. However, it would be very tenuous to conclude that the differences are due to widespread discrimination against women. Keep in mind the four conditions introduced at the beginning of this section.

The first two conditions ask the questions: "Are women rewarded differently than men?" and "Is the net effect of these differences negative for women?". In every model except one the answer to both of these questions is "Yes."6, providing consistent evidence that female and male graduates interact differently with the labour market. However, the third condition -- a negative and significant intercept term -- is met only for two of the 1988 university models for full-time workers. But when the population is expanded to include all workers, women are estimated to earn higher wages all else being equal. This was also the case for almost every other "All Earners" model. Therefore, net of the effects captured by the model, women earned higher wages than men. Chart 1 illustrates this point for 1992.

Isn't that amazing? Already in 1992 women had "pay equity" that exceeded what men earned. You asked for it, and there it is, but don't just take StatCan's word for that, check "Pay equity for women doesn't exist?" for what many other reputable sources and authorities have to say on the issue.

That, contrary to your false assertion that Fathers for Life contains no statistics that satisfy your requirements, Fathers for Life contains many and far more than you insisted it does should not surprise you. We have been searching for and compiling such statistics for longer than before you went to Grade I, since before you were born.

Without a doubt, dads & things and the search facility I mentioned but that you obviously must have missed will open a whole new world of information to you that will give you plenty of targets you can attack with your so-far unsubstantiated rhetoric.

I should have closed with that, but on account of you being so fired up about setting perceived wrongs right, a little more needs to be said. Before you respond or write back on any issue covered at our website and blog, be aware of not only our e-mail address but also of the information that the other links in the footer of each web page point to, especially the disclaimer. I don't like repeating myself, therefore make sure, please, to read that disclaimer.

One more thing in that respect: You violated virtually every rule for posting to our blog. I would be negligent if I did not tell you that those rules also apply to mail sent directly to me or to whomever the webmaster of our website happens to be. You will benefit from reading those rules. That won't take you long, they are short, and you will not be over-taxed. To that end, check About Dads & Things.

I must be fair. Perhaps you did not read those rules in your head-long rush to slander the work of reputable social researchers. I will allow that for now, but now that excuse is no longer valid. Every time you break those rules is a strike, and after three strikes you are out. Conduct yourself accordingly. This website and its blog are about the truth, not about fluff, and if that photo on Facebook is yours, then I hope I did not put any wrinkles into your crown.

Have a good life, make the best of it and keep it safe. After all, the average life expectancy of Canadian men is only about 90 percent of what the average life expectancy of Canadian women is. Are you truly fighting for the right to die before their time? That would not be extraordinary, but is it necessary?

Normally, slaves do not live longer than their masters, and men always volunteered to die for home and country; they do the sweaty, dirty, dangerous and deadly jobs, and the research funding for health issues that are specific to men is at best half of what is being spent on comparable research for women's health issues.

Even amongst the newly "gender-equalized" armed forces in Afghanistan, the score is now in the order of about 120 soldiers and one soldierette who died. It is slaves who die before their masters do, and life spans that are shorter than men's are most definitely something that women never had to worry about. The myth of the oppressed women is a femprop production.

Expand your horizons far beyond feminist indoctrination, read Feminism For Male College Students — A Short Guide to the Truth, by Angry Harry. After you do that you will know what it is like to be a real man and be proud to call yourself one. You will wonder why you ever called yourself a male. Just perhaps, and only if you are sufficiently objective, a quality you presently do not appear to possess, you will be far angrier than you were when you wrote to us, but for much different reasons that you will be very glad to have learned about.


Walter Schneider http://fathersforlife.org http://blog.fathersforlife.org


Adam McRae wrote:
Hello, I stumbled upon your website while looking for a completely unrelated topic and was very curious as to your message. As a 25 year old male born and raised in Alberta, I was eager to see the message you would put forth to the world. After reading many articles and links on your site I was about to close the window when I realized that my conscience would not allow me to without first writing this email. Your absolutely disgusting misrepresentation and complete fabrication of facts underscores everything that is wrong with society. Your viewpoints are not only morally repulsive but they undermine any progress women have made in the past century while ignoring their continuing pain and struggle. Where are your graphs regarding pay scales or the official statistics on domestic violence or sexual abuse, a crime you claim to be gender equal when the evidence clearly shows that over 90% of sexual abuse is committed by a male (97% according to Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, 2003 & 90% in a study by Finkelhor in the US in 1994). Anytime the statistics are overwhelmingly against your viewpoint, you turn to the fringe of statistics and cite feminist cover ups or conspiracies. I, like any right minded individual, was aware of the gender inequalities that still exist in our society and thought of myself as someone who would always support equality. But after finding your website I have personally committed myself to become a loud, fierce and persistant voice towards the destruction of "organizations" and attitudes such as yours. I have felt many things in my life, but you have managed to make me ashamed to not only be an Albertan, a male but also a human being. I would like to thank you for adding another layer of purpose to my life. I hope you stay true to your claim of reading all responses and read this as an intellectual challenge, not as an obligation that will simply be deleted. Adam McRae

More Myth Busting of Women by a Woman

The following description of this book makes a great deal of sense. What I can't fathom is why we men are so dense we don't recognize our spouses desire to "check out how green the pasture is" elsewhere until it is too late. Women blame everything else on hormones, including killing their spouses, children, depression et al so why wouldn't their "love" hormones create yet another imbalance in their lives leading to the destruction of the family - and by extension - the moral decline of our children and society. Caught early enough perhaps the families we have created can be saved. By that I mean those of you who can still salvage your relationship.MJM
Women's Infidelity
The only place where you'll find out the REAL reason women are cheating as much as men

"After researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous."

Limbo is one of the most painful experiences we can go through in our relationships. I've interviewed several hundred people in this situation and I've also been there myself. When I was going through it, I felt like I had an ailment, a condition of some sort. At the time, I just knew I had something and whatever it was, it wasn't normal.

For several reasons, which I explain in my book, infidelity and marital limbo are quickly becoming the norm for women and, as I've already pointed out, women are also initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces.

I sincerely believe that the information in Women's Infidelity is crucial for both males and females, regardless of their relationship status. Furthermore, I also believe that it would be a mistake to end a relationship prior to reading this book.

-Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity

The book shows that:
Women's relationships today follow a very predictable pattern:

They push men for commitment

They get what they want

They lose interest in sex

They become attracted to someone else

They start cheating

They become angry and resentful

They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.

If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.

Women's relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.

The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem. Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.

My story:

Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.

Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.

The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships

Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.

Stage 1

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violatedwhen their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.

Stage 2

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.

Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships aresexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands.Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will tryto overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.

Stage 3

Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or whatis typically referred to as being in love.

These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doingis wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.

Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this isthe question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.

The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they canjust have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with theirlovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typicallydue to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”

Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending oftenexperience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.

Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.

Stage 4

The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.

The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.

Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise
women's infidelity

Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information. Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─ once you understand what the real problem is. The information in Women's Infidelityshould be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females. Trying to have a relationshiptoday without the information in this book is like to trying to read without knowing the letters of the alphabet. This is not an exaggeration ─it's a fact.

Women's Infidelity: Living In Limbo Explains:

Why females push males for commitment

Why females "think" they're naturally monogamous and why males think so too

Why women can't tell men what they really want

Why women like getting married but not being married

Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands and what women really do want sexually

Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex

Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men

Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces - even when they're married to men who love and treat them well

Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing exactly the opposite of what they need to do in order to fix the problem

Women's Infidelity II : Breaking Out of Limbo Explains:

How to get clear about what you're really doing

How to understand your feelings for your husband - what it really means when you say, "I love him, but I'm not "in" love with him

How to know if your feelings for the "other man" are real

How to know if there's a possibility for a future with the other man

How to stop your circular thinking

How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps

Reviews and Letters from Readers

"I have been reading your book all week and have found it to be completely insightful and clarifying. I have been married for 7 years and have a 3 year old at home. I have not engaged in an affair but over but over the last few months have definitely considered looking for it...Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I feel clearer now than I have for a long time. I know my whole family is going to benefit from this information."

Katie Little

"...chapter [2], alone, is worth the US cover price...what is here is impressive..."

Donna Dillman, GRIP Magazine

"I just happened across your website today and what I've found is truly enlightening. As a psychologist I did have occasion to study marriage and marriage counseling to some degree but my primary interest has always been in working with children and adolescents. Clearly there is a significant absence of information such as yours being disseminated to graduating psychologists in training. Having been down the marital breakup path, I can also clearly attest to the accuracy of your conclusions...I do thank-you for writing such an insightful and informative book and will share it with my numerous friends who are currently experiencing similar marital challenges, as well as some of my professional colleagues who are more directly involved in working with couples..."

Dr. D

I wish to congratulate you...yours is by far the most razor-sharp study of female infidelity ever done. Ever. And that’s not hyperbole...

Richard James

"I can’t thank you enough for publishing your book, which I downloaded and last night read cover to cover until 2:30am. What struck me was that many times in the book, you described my wife’s behavior – right on down to verbatim quotes – and mine in frighteningly accurate detail. I have a better understanding of what has happened. Her relationship did not get physical, but it would have eventually, I’m sure. Understanding why is a huge part of forgiving her...I’ve made more progress with your book in a few hours than we have with a therapist in 6 weeks. With any luck, you may have been a major factor in saving our marriage. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

A loving, and... less confused, husband

"I just read your book cover to cover. Two sittings... much of it with... my wife. We can never thank you enough. I believe it was key to saving our marriage."

Keith Vaughn

Before reading your book, I had been living in limbo for almost two years. I was so confused and I felt like I was going crazy. I even went to a psychologist to try and figure out what was wrong with me. I had just about given up all hope and then I heard you on the radio talking about your book. Thank you so much for writing this book. For the first time in a long time I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal again."

Justine Pace

"I heard you on the radio and I thought you may have some answers for me since I had just caught my wife cheating. I was wondering why this was happening so I ordered your book. I received your book the other day and read it cover to cover. I was amazed. It seemed to be written about my marriage."

Tom Brickner, Los Angeles

"Women's Infidelity is a MUST read for EVERY heterosexual male and female. Both are at a disadvantage in their relationships without having this information."

Thomas Astor, New York

More Letters from Readers

"This is the most honest book about women I’ve ever read. In so many ways, how we think, feel and behave is a mystery, even to us women. I applaud Michelle Langley for her willingness to say what nobody else has the courage to say."

Candice Billings, MS

"Your book was more informative than all the counseling that I have had in the past year."

Ashley Baxter

"I don't know how I can ever thank you. Your book saved my marriage. After I read it I had my wife read it. My wife and I have now not only reconciled but we also have a much more honest relationship."

Mark Brennin

"Thank you for bringing everything into focus. It took guts to put this information out there and I can't thank you enough for doing it. "

Allissa Misloch

"What I find so disturbing is that I could have been in counseling for another 10 years and I still would not have learned anything about what I learned from your books. I am grateful to you for putting this information out there for people like me who have been hurting and confused for so long."

Julie Heckner