I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Letter to British Columbia Ministers regarding their inaccurate views on Domestic Violence

From: Mike Murphy
Date: 11 February 2010 11:26
Subject: Domestic Violence
To: SG.Minister@gov.bc.ca, HSD.Minister@gov.bc.ca, MCF.Minister@gov.bc.ca
Cc: >

Dear Ministers:

I had the opportunity to review your response to S.M. with respect to the various services offered to your citizens with respect to Intimate Partner Violence and most importantly the rationale.

You proffer the usual feminist answer that is in every DV shelter operating manual and comes out of the pseudo psychological premise from the Duluth Power and Control Wheel with no basis in real science and I quote, " The Ministry does fund specific Violence Against Women programs in recognition of the gendered nature of domestic violence, which acknowledges that domestic violence is a power-based crime in which, most often, the male in an intimate relationship exercises power and control over the female."

I am very disappointed to see in the 21st century a government actually using this false premise as an excuse for not providing similar services to men. Given the research in place which clearly shows quite the opposite of what you describe, and outlined below, it is time to stop the sexist discrimination and provide equivalent services where warranted.  Men and women react differently to DV and men, despite taking a financial, physical and psychological battering, are guilty before all, as you show above and do not report the abuse to anyone in most cases. If they call the Police they are likely going to be the one arrested for the very reason you described. They largely internalize it unless a volunteer support group exists to provide assistance.

You also quote police reported statistics which do not give the real picture of actual occurrences of IPV.  In fact if DV is gendered how to you account for the upwards of 50% violence between Lesbian couples which is much higher than heterosexual couples?  You may wish to consult with Professor Don Dutton at UBC on matters relating to IPV between heterosexual  and Lesbian couples. He is on your doorstep and a well respected leader in the discipline who can bring some sense to your sexist policies.

You have also, as most feminists do, cherry picked your information from one source while leaving out anything that gives rise to DV being mutual, being initiated more by females than males, and showing it impacts 7% of women and 6% of men.
Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2005. An estimated 7% of women and 6% of men representing 653,000 women and 546,000 men in a current or previous spousal relationship encountered spousal violence during the five years up to and including 2004, according to a comprehensive Statistics Canada report on family violence.

Males are the largest victims of violence in Canada according to the most recent Homicide Stats. Canadian Homicide Stats 2008


Total 611, 465 men 146 female
Rate of homicides with firearms has increased 24% since 2002. Handgun use on increase (gangs don't register their weapons)
Women victims 24% - lowest proportion ever Men Victims 76%
Both the rate of females killed (0.87 per 100,000 population), as well as the proportion. (24%), were the lowest since 1961
62 spousal homicides - no change from 2007. Lowest rate in 40 years, 45 women 17 (27.4%)men

Many DV homicides of men are not classified as such and this number is higher than 27.4%. Some police Departments actually suppress calling a homicide as DV even when it is patently obvious. See this article in the National Post on the London Police Chief Faulkner who falsified his 2007 reports by omission.  Its clear he has an agenda and uses the same mantra as does your government. See this column in the National Post http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/01/28/barbara-kay-london-ontario-police-statistics-on-domestic-violence-show-classic-signs-of-abuse.aspx and this one in the London Free Press. http://www.lfpress.com/comment/columnists/herman_goodden/2010/02/05/12762196.html

There are hundreds of studies showing the mutuality of IPV and I direct you to a small sample as follows:

Male victims of domestic violence have been seriously neglected in public policy, outreach and services. But they are not rare. They’re less likely to report it, which makes oft-cited crime data (DoJ, etc.) unreliable especially for men.

Prevalence and Injuries

Virtually all empirical survey data shows women initiate domestic violence at least as often as men in heterosexual relationships and that men suffer one-third of physical injuries from domestic violence. Over 200 of these studies (and growing), using various methodologies, are summarized by Professor Martin Fiebert at


Harvard Medical School and the American Psychiatric Association both recently announced a major national study in the U.S. that found half of heterosexual domestic violence is reciprocal and that: "Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women."

The study also found: "As for physical injury due to intimate partner violence, it was more likely to occur when the violence was reciprocal than nonreciprocal. And while injury was more likely when violence was perpetrated by men, in relationships with reciprocal violence it was the men who were injured more often (25 percent of the time) than were women (20 percent of the time)."

A recent 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and as controlling as men in dating relationships worldwide.


To make my point clearer that Domestic Violence is not gendered I supply some information from Australia and the USA on child killing and abuse where you will find the female, particularly the single mom, takes the lead role.  This information may provide some ideological dissonance and perhaps hurt your sensibilities but it is time for the feminine benign artifice  bubble to be burst. It is hurting men and boys, children and indeed women who are viewed by many as an underclass of victims needing government intervention at all levels of their development leaving the impression they are unable to function equally to men without such assistance..

You may wish to view the child abuse information with a view toward public policy for child protection. There is a move afoot to align the Violence Against Women (VAW)  sector with the child protection services and this clearly is not good public policy given the woman is the most likely to harm or kill the children. There is a definite conflict of a child's best interests involved.

There are no valid peer reviewed studies or government surveys of recent date showing the rates of abuse by dads are equal to mothers. In fact a recent Australian study shows mothers themselves and mothers in concert with a non-biological boyfriend/partner are far and away the highest cause of death of their children. Mothers killed 11 alone, with a partner not the biological father 5, dads 5.  That’s a 16-5 ratio toward mothers.

Kids are safer with Dads
The Australian Institute of Criminology has reviewed the most recent child homicide statistics from its National Homicide Monitoring Program. The new data shows that during 2006-07, eleven child homicides were perpetrated by a mother, while five perpetrators were fathers, and another five were de-facto partners of the mother who lived with the child. Importantly, no child victims were killed by a complete stranger during this period.

You can go here for the USA stats showing by far Mothers are the greatest killers and abusers of their children. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/index.htm
2006,  is outlined below:

Some data on child abuse from Child Maltreatment 2006, a report by the Federal Administration for Children & Families...

Figure 4-2 Perpetrator Relationships of Child Fatalities, 2006
Child Maltreatment 2006

Perpetrator Relationships of Child Fatalities, 2006

This pie chart indicates that 27.4 percent of child fatalities were perpetrated by the mother acting alone. Such non-parental perpetrators as daycare providers, foster parents, or residential facility staff were responsible for 14.6 percent of fatalities.

Leaving aside killings by non-parents or by mothers and fathers acting together, mothers committed a significantly greater number of the parental murders of children.

Figure 3-5 Victims by Perpetrator Relationship, 2006
Victims by Perpetrator Relationship, 2006

This pie chart shows that 39.9 percent of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 17.6 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 17.8 percent were abused by both their mother and father. Victims abused by a nonparental perpetrator accounted for 10.0 percent.

Until DV is treated as a family problem rather than a female victim/male perpetrator we cannot expect much to change. It has been going on for a very long time with no end in site. Resources need to be spent on trying to salvage a family caught in the trauma of disputes holistically rather than all women are victims. I often wonder if that had been available to my family whether things would have worked out differently. How about a court process requiring all family members into counseling and if the alleged perpetrator does not respond in a timely manner then the criminal process kicks in? Australia's Family Centres are a good example. 

We know the downstream impacts of the current process with destroyed families, criminal records, loss of jobs, poverty, and increased social problems of children in single family homes. In fact children learn from their parents and the cycle becomes multi-generational. If such a system existed early warnings, as part of an education process, would allow the victimized spouse or child to seek counsel and have the family brought into a healthy counselling process before things got out of hand. It would be far more proactive and preventative. Before it becomes a police action we should look for other alternatives which will decrease the current stresses on police services to deal with the problems. Note I say family not a single gender. A process involving the family that is non-threatening may reduce the fear factor of a non-working spouse, male or female (recall I was the stay-at-home dad in my case) and have them make the move earlier with a chance to salvage the relationship and family.

As long as you stick to this Duluth Wheel psycho-babble of male power and coercion taxpayers money is not being spent in a wise fashion.

Mike Murphy
682 Old Garden River Road
Sault Ste. Marie ON  P6A 6J8

> February 10, 2010

Mr. S. M.
Dear Mr. M:

I am responding to your January 7, 2010 e-mail regarding your thoughts on the government’s funding of domestic violence programs.  I would like to take this opportunity to clarify the services available for both men and women in British Columbia who are the victims of domestic violence.

The majority of Ministry programs and services for victims of crime in British Columbia serve all victims of violence, including both men and women.  In fact, all but seven of the Ministry’s Victim Service Programs are mandated to serve both men and women.  Three victim service programs serve only men and four serve only women.  Similarly, the Ministry’s Crime Victim Assistance Program provides medical and dental expenses, counselling services, protective measures, income support and other benefits to assist all eligible victims of crime and their families to recover from the impacts of crime.  In the same manner, the Victim Safety Unit provides notification services to victims of crime regarding the custody status of an accused or offender including releases from custody and information about conditions that must be followed when in the community.  This service is available to both men and women who register with the unit.

The Ministry also funds VictimLINK, a toll-free, province-wide 24/7 multilingual help and information line that provides emergency crisis support for all victims of family and sexual violence.  Our Victim Court Support Program provides enhanced support to victims in the criminal court process including emotional support, court updates, information, orientation, accompaniment, and referrals to victims/witnesses and their families.  Additionally, the Ministry funded Children Who Witness Abuse Programs which provide counselling for children aged 3 to 18 who have witnessed abuse, threats, or violence in the home to help these children and their adult caregivers heal from the trauma and learn about healthy relationships.  This program serves boys, girls, and caregivers of either sex.

The Ministry does fund specific Violence Against Women programs in recognition of the gendered nature of domestic violence, which acknowledges that domestic violence is a power-based crime in which, most often, the male in an intimate relationship exercises power and control over the female.  For this reason, our Stopping the Violence Counselling Programs and Outreach and Multicultural Outreach Services exclusively serve women.

The reality is that the majority of victims of police-reported spousal violence are females, accounting for 83 per cent of victims in 2007 (Statistics Canada. Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2009, p. 5).  Women are also more likely than men to be victims of spousal homicide.  In 2007, almost 4 times as many women were killed by a current or former spouse as men (Statistics Canada. Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2009, p. 6).  In domestic violence situations, women are twice as likely as men to be injured, three times more likely to fear for their lives, twice as likely to suffer serious injury and six times as likely to seek medical attention (Statistics Canada. Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistical Trends 2006, p. 19).  For all of these reasons, we do fund specific services for women but for the Ministry as a whole, the majority of our programs and services for victims of violence are for both men and women.

I would like to personally thank you for writing to get clarity on the types of programs and services available for victims of domestic violence and for the important work you do in the area of law enforcement.  Working together we can ensure safer homes and communities for all British Columbians impacted by violence. 

Thank you once again for writing.

Yours truly,
Kash Heed
Solicitor General
pc:     The Honourable Rich Coleman
        The Honourable Mary Polak