I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Hidden Crime: Domestic Violence Against Men Is a Growing Problem

Posted 10:30 AM 01/30/10
Comments: 183
Amid the media frenzy over Tiger Woods and Bengals receiver Chris Henry, a key aspect of both stories slipped through the cracks: Like millions of other men, Woods and Henry were -- allegedly at least -- the victims of domestic violence perpetrated by their wives or girlfriends. Beyond its brutal physical and psychological costs, domestic violence against men exacts a cruel economic toll at the personal, societal and national levels.

For the most part, the media, authorities and average citizens see domestic violence as a crime that is committed by men and victimizes women. Consequently, funding to combat the problem has overwhelmingly been spent on programs that support women.

Widely Ignored Problem

And yet, more than 200 survey-based studies show that domestic violence is just as likely to strike men as women. In fact, the overwhelming mass of evidence indicates that half of all domestic violence cases involve an exchange of blows and the remaining 50% is evenly split between men and women who are brutalized by their partners.

Part of the reason that this problem is widely ignored lies in the notion that battered males are weak or unmanly. A good example of this is the Barry Williams case: Recently, the former Brady Bunch star sought a restraining order against his live-in girlfriend, who had hit him, stolen $29,000 from his bank account, attempted to kick and stab him and had repeatedly threatened his life.

It is hard to imagine a media outlet mocking a battered woman, but E! online took the opportunity to poke fun at Williams, comparing the event to various Brady Bunch episodes. Similarly, when Saturday Night Live ran a segment in which a frightened Tiger Woods was repeatedly brutalized by his wife, the show was roundly attacked -- for being insensitive to musical guest Rihanna, herself a victim of domestic violence.

Lack of Research

Sometimes it is impossible to ignore the problem, but when domestic violence against men turns deadly -- as in the case of actor Phil Hartman -- the focus tends to shift to mental illness. The same can be said of the Andrea Yates case, which many pundits presented as the story of how an insensitive husband can drive a wife to murder.

Much of the information on domestic violence against men is anecdotal, largely because of the lack of funding to study the problem. Although several organizations explore domestic violence, the biggest single resource is the Department of Justice, which administers grants through its Office on Violence Against Women.

For years, the DOJ has explicitly refused to fund studies that investigate domestic violence against men. According to specialists in this field, the DOJ recently agreed to cover this problem -- as long as researchers give equal time to addressing violence against women.

First National Study

Researchers Denise Hines and Emily Douglas recently completed the first national study to scientifically measure the mental and social impact of domestic violence on male victims. Interestingly, their research was funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health, not the DOJ. Not only does this demonstrate the lack of resources for researchers of this issue, but it also suggests that male battering is perceived as a mental health issue, not a crime.

This decriminalization of domestic violence against men affects research conclusions. While survey-based studies have found that men and women commit domestic violence in equal numbers, crime-based studies show that women are far more likely to be victimized. This inconsistency begins to make sense when one considers that man-on-woman violence tends to be seen through a criminal lens, while woman-on-man violence is viewed more benignly.

A recent 32-nation study revealed that more than 51% of men and 52% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a wife to slap her husband. By comparison, only 26% of men and 21% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a husband to slap his wife. Murray Straus, creator of the Conflict Tactics Scale and one of the authors of the study, explained this discrepancy: "We don't perceive men as victims. We see women as being more vulnerable than men."

Kneed In The Groin

This trend becomes particularly striking when one considers the 1996 case of Minnesota Vikings quarterback Warren Moon, who tried to restrain his wife after she threw a candlestick at his head and kneed him in the groin. Subsequently charged with spousal abuse, he was only acquitted after his wife admitted that she attacked him -- and that her wounds were self-inflicted. Ironically, her admission of fault did not result in charges being brought against her.

While Moon's trial was particularly high profile, his situation is actually very common. In fact, studies have found that a man who calls the police to report domestic violence is three times more likely to be arrested than the woman who is abusing him.

The mainstream perception of domestic violence also impacts the resources that are available to battered men. For example, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, the only national toll-free hot line that specializes in helping male victims of domestic violence, has faced numerous roadblocks in its search for funding. In Maine, where the helpline is based, the surest route to funding is through membership in the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence.

On A Shoestring

But, according to Helpline director Jan Brown, the Coalition refused to even issue the program an application for membership, effectively denying it access to funding. Today, 45 Helpline volunteers field 550 calls per month, 80% of which are from men or people who are looking for help on behalf of a man. Operating with a yearly budget of less than $15,000, it provides intensive training to its workers and offers victims housing, food, bus tickets and a host of other services.

The Helpline's sheltering services are informal and ad hoc, largely because its lack of access to funding makes a shelter financially impossible. In fact, of the estimated 1,200 to 1,800 shelters in the U.S., only one -- the Valley Oasis shelter in Antelope Valley, Calif. -- provides a full range of shelter services to men. And, on average, less than 10% of OVW funds allocated to fight domestic violence are used to help men.

For male victims of domestic violence, the legal system can become another tool for abuse. As in the Moon case, battered men are often likely to find themselves arrested, even when they are the ones who call the police. And, even after the arrest, the process of incarceration, restraining orders, divorce court and child custody hearings continue to disadvantage men.

A High Cost

Restraining orders are a particularly difficult hurdle. Radar Services, a watchdog organization, estimates that approximately 85% of the roughly 2 million temporary restraining orders that are issued every year are made against men. In many states, the requirements for an order are exceedingly vague: In Oregon, for example, a "fear" of violence is sufficient for a restraining order, while Michigan issues them to protect family members against "fear of mental harm."

But there's nothing vague about the effect of restraining orders: They often turn men out of their homes, deny them access to children and result in further personal costs as millions of men have to find new places to live, hire lawyers and pay other expenses. For some men, as Hines and Brown point out, the legal system gives abusive wives and girlfriends tools to continue attacks even after their relationships end.

As Straus notes, "The preponderance of [domestic violence] resources should be made available to women. They are injured more often, are more economically vulnerable, and are often responsible for the couple's children. That having been said, more resources need to be made available to men."

There is no doubt that domestic violence against men can be reduced; the domestic violence initiatives of the past 40 years have brought a hidden crime to light and provided protection for millions of women. The next step is to admit that domestic violence is not a male or female problem, but rather a human problem, and that a lasting solution must address the cruelty -- and suffering -- of both sexes.

In London Ontario ~ Vigils marks Lucio death and raises awareness of female perpetrated violence on males

An email report by Sean Slaven on the event:

Congratulations to Brad Charlton and the London team for pulling off one of the most monumental events I have ever been apart of. The DV conference and vigil was informative and inspiring,with some of the best advocates of change coming together under one roof.

But, the best part of the event was when the decision was made to take the vigil/ protest from outside the police station to the inside of the police station.
Yes- inside the police station!

The group of 20 took the message that domestic violence is not a gender issue right inside where we were able to address our conerns to the police force on their very own ground.

Absolutly bloody amazing- they listened and thanked us, which is so different from what most of us have seen where we are usually told to shut up,arrested and put in jail.

Well not this time, no threats of being charged, no bullying, no egos!

I have never seen this before and would never have believed it if I had not seen it with my own eyes.

This my friends was true freedom-freedom of speech, freedom of expression,freedom to gather and protest.

I would also like to thank the London police for doing their job and respecting our rights that our fore fathers gave their lives for.

Brad and to all those who took part in this truly amazing event- a very big thank you and a job well done.SS

Last Updated: June 6, 2010 12:04am

About 20 people marched down Dundas St. to the London Police Service building Saturday night in a candlelight vigil marking the third anniversary of the murder of retired London Police superintendent Dave Lucio.

Lucio was shot June 7, 2007 by acting police inspector Kelly Johnson as he pulled up to her Picton St. condominium building. Johnson then turned her 9-mm service pistol on herself.

The vigil was the culmination of a conference called domestic violence awareness day, presented by the London Equal Parenting Committee.

Organizer Brad Charlton, co-chair of the LEPC, said the conference was meant to draw a connection between domestic violence and equal parenting issues.

“Quite often false allegations of domestic violence are used in court to deny men their rights,” he said.
Dave Lucio’s father Doug, 83, who’s been highly critical of police handling of his son’s death, led the vigil.
Standing before the LPS building, with candle in hand, he repeated his allegation that the 60-page report on Lucio’s death was a “whitewash.”

He said there needs to be more equal treatment in cases of domestic violence.

“Violence is violence whether it’s men or women. There is no difference,” he said.

Conference moderator Kris Titus said she got involved in domestic violence issues 12 years ago when she was separated from her husband because of a violent incident.

She said her husband had smacked her across the face with the back and front of his hand. She said the incident happened because of a “bi-polar condition” brought on by a thyroid problem. She said he was essentially mentally ill at the time, and called the incident “an accident.”

She said once the matter hit the courts, “the system was trying to destroy him.”

Marcher Gwyneth Doty said she was attending to support men who have nowhere to go when facing violence.

“It used to be a man’s world and now it’s a woman’s world,” she said.

“It’s too much, it’s terrible.”

Barbara Jacques, who attended the conference and vigil, said it was important to stand up against violence against men.

“I’ve got three (grown) boys who have gone through it,” she said.

As the vigil assembled at the LPS building, attendees shouted slogans such as “not all men are bad, not all women are good.”