I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Blogger dads increase clout as parents

Although not directly related to equal parenting the following Toronto Star editorial gives light to the growing clout of stay at home dads. I left comments to give light to the dysfunction of Family Law in Family Courts and wanted to show the sheer discrimination by gender going on. As a former 10 year stay-at-home parent I have direct experience. It is not a ticket to equality if your spouse is after sole custody and its entitlements.

I was a stay-at-home dad for 10 years raising 2 girls from infancy and, as it turned out, very good at it despite my own initial trepidation. As a boy I grew up in an era where dad was provider and there were different gender roles. My transition was not without some fear I might lack certain ingredients to be successful. I worked from home as the tech guy and graphics producer. On the weekend and some evenings and holidays I worked behind the counter in the retail side of our business. My day was flexible allowing for volunteer time at schools and handling client work after the kids were in bed.

I blogged about some of this going back to 2003, mostly for two older daughters who lived a great distance from us but could get updates on dad's new adventures.

Having said all that if one gets divorced and has a non-cooperative female spouse who won't equally share parenting after divorce most dads are out of luck and will be marginalized by Family Law Courts.

In over 90% of cases, in Canada, mom will get sole physical custody of the children, marginalizing dads, including those who raised his children. Mom can be cleverly hostile, aided and abetted by lawyers, but appear to be quite affable and cooperative to the judge. The very fact she will not share equally the custody of children with a fit dad is hostile. This usually involves making dad the stereotypical bad male who can be abusive and not to be trusted with children.

Family Law is not as quick to change as are companies marketing a product, unfortunately. A lot of this is directly related to Lawyers who almost everywhere it is proposed, oppose equal shared parenting. Their feminist cohorts, such as LEAF in Ontario do likewise.

There is one thing I have discovered through my own experience, research, and observation. Men are the most versatile of all life forms on the planet. You will find us in the most dangerous jobs on earth and nurturing our treasured children.

"Blogger dads for truth in diapering: Editorial

Dads who devote their days to their kids have created a powerful online community that is rapidly getting attention from marketing companies.
After mastering the art of the stay-at-home dad, father bloggers are now fighting against the archaic gender-insulting notions perpetuated in television commercials that men can’t handle a wet diaper, much less a week alone with the kids.

By airing their complaints online, dads who devote their days to their children have created a powerful voice that is rapidly getting attention from the marketing companies that create those antiquated ads. And that’s a good thing.

As Fatima Arkin writes in the Star, their blogging power has jolted companies like Huggies and Playskool into a new era of marketing that acknowledges fathers as capable parents and even better, valued shoppers.

Stay-at-home dads — those who let moms pursue careers or at least a work-life balance — have the commercial clout to demand a certain truth in advertising, even if it is self-serving.

They are also part of a societal change. After all, in 2011, 60,000 Canadian fathers stayed home with the kids, triple the number in the 1970s."